As both of us have been pregnant and given birth a few times, it's no surprise that Wendy and I pretty much took turns all night alternately sleeping and fumbling our way back and forth from the bathroom. What was entertaining about it was that for such a tiny stateroom, its bathroom sure was elusive in the pitch black darkness. After walking into the closet and almost exiting the stateroom, we decided to leave the bathroom light on and the door closed for the next two nights. (And next cruise, I'm bringing a nightlight.) Still, even with all my late-night adventures, I did wake up as soon as the boat docked in Ensenada. You might ask why a group of Oklahoma girls who were mostly cruising for the first time would book one departing from L.A. rather than Galveston. Well, in addition to this actually being cheaper (even with airfare) and fitting into our schedules better, it is also the cruise line that a certain young man (aka Lanie's sister's boyfriend) works for and that sister made our travel arrangements. Word on the street was that he had the afternoon off and that we were finally going to get to meet him. But not yet...
Even though we knew were were docked, we all decided to take the morning easy. We missed breakfast in the fancy dining room completely (not that we cared) and went upstairs to the buffet area. The easy way to do this would have been to take the elevator from the 2nd to the 11th level, but that's not what we did. First, we went up to the 6th floor to see the casino. Then, we walked through it to the other side of the ship. Then, Wendy thought it would be "fun" and "good exercise" to take the stairs the rest of the way up. We got to the 11th floor only to find ourselves on the wrong side of the ship for the Windjammer Cafe, so then had to walk all the way back across the ship to it. Don't let it be said that we were lazy on this cruise and that we didn't work for our meals. Apparently, between sleeping in and taking the scenic route to breakfast, we missed everyone else. But no worries, as we started to leave Wendy found a new friend she had been dancing with the night before. His name was DeShon and he seemed like a nice enough kid. He told us that his family had left him behind and before I knew what was happening, Wendy had invited him to go into town with us! Apparently, we can't take Wendy anywhere. She makes too many "friends." She told him to meet us at the elevators at 11:30, but she forgot to say which floor. I noticed that, but failed to point it out to her. Hey! I told her husband I would keep an eye on her and I was just doing my job (even though DeShon seemed pretty harmless).
We met up at the elevators, but not before Wendy checked every floor for her new buddy. We didn't find him, then half the group decided they wanted lunch before we got off the ship. So...it was back to the buffet area that Wendy and I had just come from. She suggested we take the stairs again. I hit her. Softly. Eventually, we made it off the ship and into Mexico. I've never been to Mexico before, so we can check that off my 'places visited' roster too. No sooner did we pass through the checkpoint than we were all overwhelmed by the smell of...umm...organic fertilizer. We joked that Melissa would drag us anywhere to visit her man. Speaking of them, we were supposed to meet them in town. We got the brilliant idea to walk there instead of taking a shuttle. I can't remember whose idea it was, but I'm guessing it was Wendy with her "fun" and "exercise" plans. The walk actually wasn't too bad. On the way there we ran into several panhandlers. I was used to this in Italy, and they spend a lot of time in the missionary training center preparing us to deal with that. (Don't give them money, if you feel bad buy food and give them that instead, conceal your belongings, etc...) I remembered all the training, but I'd never faced kids or a nursing mother as a mother myself. It's much harder now to walk past than it was when I was 22 and single, even with what I had been taught previously. (I didn't think to bring food to hand out and probably couldn't have taken it off the ship with me anyway-but it was hard.)
Soon, we were in town and shopping. Lanie had promised one of her friends a Mexican wrestling mask. I wanted to get necklaces for my girls and maybe a purse for me. If I had been smarter, I would have looked more at the jewelry, but I was having fun practicing my Spanish on unsuspecting street vendors (all of whom were very nice and who I'm sure I allowed to rob me blind). I was highly amused at the way Chris was keeping such a close eye on me to make sure they didn't "lose Melessa somewhere in Mexico." I reminded her that I did manage to roam the streets of Northern Italy for 18 months and made it home safe, but I will admit it was nice to know I wasn't going to be left in some little shop somewhere. After awhile, Wendy and Jean wanted more excitement than they were finding with us, and headed to the bar where we were meeting up later. Lanie helped me pick out a necklace for Caroline (Natalie's was an easy choice) and we got maracas for Elisa and a Mexican yo-yo for Tristan (all probably made in Taiwan, but what I don't know won't hurt me). Lanie found the perfect mask for Heidi (a pic should be in my Flickr stream) and we all decided we had best get to the bar before Wendy made yet more new friends. Did I mention we can't take her anywhere?!
We arrived at the bar (an infamous tourist spot) just after Jean, Melissa, her boyfriend, and Wendy. Unbeknownst to us, Wendy had made yet another friend. But this one was different. He worked at the bar and for $20 he made sure Lanie knew she was at a Bachelorette Party. First, he came around blowing a whistle. Wendy pointed at Lanie and before we knew it he was dirty dancing with her and putting her up on the bar. Then, he covered her in whipped cream and tequila. At this point, I didn't know whether to watch or concentrate on taking pictures (I did both, the pics weren't great because I really DID need a flash in there). I couldn't believe how hard Lanie's mom was laughing at everything. Once she was covered, the "friend" began to look around for someone to...um...lick that stuff off of her. And who did he grab? Melissa's boyfriend, of course. It was pretty obvious that neither he nor Lanie wanted anything to do with that plan, but Lis was actually encouraging it and from the looks of the other bar patrons (and I use that word loosely) it actually wasn't a half-bad idea. So, Lanie and a potential future BIL got to know each other FAR too well, at least until the bar guy took pity on them, gave Lanie a towel, and declared the show over. Lanie would have been all about something like that about 10 years ago, but let's face it-we are a little older now. Not that it ended there. Wendy's 'friend' soon noticed that Wendy was wearing a sticker from another bar on her shirt. He was none too pleased. So for another small fee, Wendy got a dirty dance of her own and a bumper sticker right across her chest. I think I mentioned that she only brought one outfit that didn't show off her considerable assets and she sure wasn't wearing it that afternoon. I got some great blackmail shots of that too, but so far I've been nice enough to keep all pictures taken at Papas and Beer off my Flickr page.
Within a few minutes, the smoke and the heat of the bar were no longer fun-not to mention we didn't know whether or not Wendy had enough cash to buy us all a tequila-filled dance on the bar if she so chose. So, we went back to shopping. Wendy went with us-sticker in place. It was very funny once we were out of the bar. She and I bought some cute leather purses, I found a wallet for Dave, and we continued on the quest for the 'perfect' gift for Chris' husband. We found all manner of stupid stuff we knew would entertain our buddy John, but since we never see him; we abstained from buying any of it. Finally, I could take it no longer and ducked into a pharmacy to buy a bottled water and that's where we found it-the perfect gift for Sean, a Mexican Coke. (Chris, I hope it made it through customs, I've been meaning to ask...) There were also condoms right next to the cash register "Romans" instead of "Trojans." The girl with the B.A. in Classics/Latin really wanted to buy one, but for all my bad talk; I was too embarrassed. Wendy is right. I'm a rule-follower. Sigh.
After that stop, we made our way back to the ship. It was here that I had my second encounter with "Anna Nicole." I forgot to mention in the last narrative that while we danced poolside, we spotted Anna Nicole Smith's evil twin-and TrimSpa just wasn't working for her anymore. I didn't think much one way or the other, but apparently she managed to dance right on top of wherever Lanie was later on that night while I was holed-up in the room watching movies. So, spotting her kind of annoyed the rest of the group. As it turned out, SHE was the nice one of her group. There was another girl with them that Chris and I were pretty sure we were going to kill before we got back to our rooms. We tried walking way behind them, they were slow. We had to listen to her yell at Anna Nicole for breaking her shoe, she yelled at another friend for stopping to take pictures, and then when Anna Nicole ran into a little kid and knocked the box of candy he was selling out of his hands; she told her not to help him pick it up. (And even though she was tipsy, she had broken a sandal and was walking half-barefoot through the streets of Ensenada-let the record state that 'Anna' did help that kid pick everything up, so she was the nice one) Fortunately, we lost them when you had to produce your Sea Pass card to get past a security post. We hoped for Anna's sake that she found hers and her mean friend had to stay in Mexico, but we probably would have heard if something like that had happened.
Once we made it back to the ship, it was time to rest and get cleaned up for dinner. Tonight was officially formal night in the dining room and we had black dresses and feather boas for the occasion. Some of us even had tiaras. I think a few of us wore our old W.A. crowns, but as mine was Rainbow colored and shaped (and likely discarded in Dusty's apartment long ago), I just settled for a nice updo with my hair. I must admit, we all looked pretty good that night. Before dinner was the Captain's reception which boasted free drinks and hors d'oeuvres. I sure don't remember any food being there...It finished just in time for our dinner seating and that was probably a good thing. We wanted to get our group picture taken, but certain among us just HAD to visit the casino "for a minute" and it was time to be seated by the time they returned. I'm sure dinner was good, but I've got no clue what we ate-I really should write things down more often instead of thinking I'm going to remember. After dinner, we changed for the big pool party.
This was probably my favorite night of the cruise. There was more poolside dancing, complete with a conga line, Mexican food that was put out later for snacking, and Anna Nicole in a very sparkly outfit for our entertainment. Lanie was ready to share space with her, but I think we only glimpsed her once or twice. As much as we love to dance, though-the floor became too crowded for even party girls like us. So, we went back inside and hit the duty-free shops a little. They had been closed while we were docked, so it was fun to do more than window shop. As the book I brought had been a disappointment, I found The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes and thought I would see if it was any better. (It was, but I didn't really start reading it until the flight home.) At this point, our stateroom looked just like any other dorm or motel room Wendy and I ever shared while growing up together. But at least here we had Nigel to make our beds, pick up our towels, and leave us little towel sculptures. For this night, it was a bat. We may be a little biased, but Wendy and I thought we had the best stateroom attendant on the boat (That wasn't a friend of Jean or Melissa's, of course. Not that there were many employees they didn't know...which worked out well for all of us.) So, we took a picture of the bat, kicked our junk out of the way, hung up our dresses and made this observation before falling asleep:
Me: "So we hang out or shop all day, get dressed up in the evening, and dance all night. It reminds me of something...maybe a fun and grown-up version of Grand Assembly?"*
Wendy: "THAT was never fun...when was it that we swam all day and partied all night?"
Both: "This is a grown-up CONCLAVE!"*
Sans the boys, but who needed 'em?! Not us. (More tomorrow...)
*Grand Assembly was the annual convention for our girls club. It was very ritualized and formal. Conclave was the boys' convention that we attended at night as guests. Both took place in Stillwater and as their convention required nothing more than for us to hang out at the motel all day then get dressed up for the Saturday night dance-we very much preferred their convention to ours.
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