My Solution to Yesterday's Dilemma

Thanks for the comments both here and on MySpace (where I try to cut and paste most of these entries). It's not that I think I don't "deserve" the free time, but as much as I try and tune out the preachier "thou shalt not work until thy children art fully grown" voices that seem to bounce and echo off the church walls-I am obviously still susceptible to them. That's actually kind of funny to me because, as I sit here and take a mental inventory, almost every woman my age at church has or has recently had some type of part-time job-so whose voices am I even hearing? As a stay-at-home mom, this kind of solution wouldn't have bothered me for a second. As a working mom, I think part of me feels like I already spend so much time away from them that every second I am not working should be consumed by quality bonding time with my children. This guilt is exacerbated by the way my four year-old has taken to wrapping herself around my leg each morning she is dropped off at pre-school. (What's up with that, anyway? She loved it until right before summer break started.) So, obviously I should show all my kids how much I love and miss them while I'm working by playing with them the minute that I get home.

The problem is, after spending most days at work surrounded by other peoples' children; the last thing I want when I come home is ANY MORE NOISE AT ALL. So I seek quiet time desperately and I feel completely undeserving of it all at the same time. My husband has no problem with picking up the kids, so all of this is internally-based and very confusing. What we have come up with is that when all the kids are on the east side of town (Natalie and Elisa are there daily at camp and pre-school) as they were yesterday, Dave will pick them up. If Tristan and Caroline are at their aunt's house, as they were today, I will pick them up and let Dave get the other two. And eventually, I will get over myself and allow a few breaks here and there. And then school will start again and it will all be a moot point anyway. Sigh.