The Best Comeback That I'll Never Use

I'm still working out a longer version of a post about motherhood and having several children. I've had a few sources of inspiration from other mothers with bigger families like mine. Unfortunately, the necessities of caring for my kids and keeping up with their activities prevents me from writing the long version just yet.

In short, there's been a lot of discussion around the blogosphere about the rude questions and comments that mothers of more than 2 kids have to hear more than their fair share of when in public, or in my case, at my in-laws' house (as well as in public). I've heard them too and am anticipating hearing even more when baby #5 makes her debut this summer. While making some mental notes to myself about what I want to say in a longer post, I finally came up with the perfect comeback to any rude variation of this:

Nosy Mom #1: "You must be crazy! I can't IMAGINE having any more than one or two. I mean, no one can truly stretch themselves any farther than that."

Me: "Well fortunately, my heart is big enough to love more than two or three people at once. Too bad about yours."

No, I don't think I'll ever actually say it. But I sure love having it in the back of my mind.

Music Monday

I kept thinking at some point today I would have enough time and presence of mind to type the post I've been thinking about all weekend, but theatre practices, dinner, and (my favorite) lost theatre shoes on the same day I bought them have robbed me of most of my energy. Rather than write something less than my best, I'm going to post the song I've been singing to myself all day. The movie wasn't one of my all-time favorite of the Disney animateds, but the song inspires me and expresses a lot of my own personal religious feelings:

A Weather Update of No Importance Whatsoever

As suspected, we got a lot of nothing in the end. It rained yesterday and snowed on and off this afternoon, but nothing froze and nothing stuck. This was a good thing as we held church leadership meetings this morning and had ladies drive in from as far as Ada and Ardmore to attend (and props to them for making that trip because the weather really was iffy and a lot of women from Norman and closer areas were no-shows). I'm glad they made it here and back home safely. Of course, this also meant that the meeting wasn't cancelled and that I had to teach today, and that always scares me. But, I think that went well too. It was also easy to get Caroline to and from her 1 p.m. birthday party once the meetings were over and to pick up all of the kids from my grandmother's after that. Since then, I've been very happy to stay holed-up in my house with my kids even IF the weather didn't require it.

Of course, a little farther to the Northwest, BritGal has a very different story to tell about the snow in Oklahoma this weekend.

Talking about the Weather, Again

For most people, talking about the weather is akin to conversation failure. For Okies, it can be a pretty intense subject. The saying here has always been "Welcome to Oklahoma. If you don't like the weather, wait about 15 minutes. It will change." There is a reason that the National Storms Lab resides right here in my hometown. Here in Oklahoma, we are well-known for devastating tornados, floods when hurricanes get close to Texas and Lousiana, and more recently; a few really awful ice storms. All this week throughout mild temps ranging from the 50's-70's, forecasters have been predicting that today would bring "the storm of the century."

Make no mistake, there is food in the pantry and I cancelled on the usual Friday night gathering at my grandmother's *just in case* BUT, it's getting hard to take this seriously when every flood, tornado, and snowfall since the year 2000 has been called the same thing. My question is, of all the storms we've had so far; which one was it again that was THE storm of the century? AND with 91 years and a few months left, aren't we being a little presumptious with that label? The Dustbowl didn't hit until the 1930's so I think we've still got lots of time before assigning every weather quirk with a title equivalent to disaster of biblical proportions. In the meantime, we're still waiting for the snow to even start at my house-though I have heard that it has reached the OKC metro area. I guess I'll know by tomorrow what exactly we were in for today.

Brighter Days are Just Around the Corner

I hate that I still have a two day-old blog post up, but since I've been moving non-stop all day today; I can't do anything about that tonight. However, Saturday is Dave's last one to work nights! I didn't think I would survive it, and to see my house many could argue that I really haven't. BUT, it really is almost done-thank goodness. Because so much of what I post here tends to be whiny (given that this blog was created as a coping mechanism because I didn't want to take anti-depressants during my last pregnancy-I really don't apologize for that), I thought I would list some of the good things about my week so far:

• I went to the OKC Fairgrounds kids' consignment sale and had a blast! I found a Medela breast pump that someone apparently bought, tried twice, and discarded (I ordered replacment tubing for it, but everything else was in very pristine condition). I've only ever owned the Avent Isis, so this is a big step up for me. Wendy, you're going to help me figure this pumping thing out, right?
• I also found a Bumbo seat for 1/3 of the cost. They didn't have those for my other kids and while I've mocked a lot of unnecessary stuff in previous posts, I really wanted one of those. It's a purple one because, as Miss Caroline pointed out, not everyone who is a girly girl loves pink. (Like her, for example-she prefers purple, red, and blue.)
• We are just over a week away from being done with this season of Sooner Theatre! Make no mistake, I love having my kids involved there-BUT driving there 3x per week for drop-off and pick-up has worn me O-U-T!
• Today at work, I made a goal to get one full year's worth of artifacts numbered and classified in File Maker Pro-and I did it! (1979-Just in case you were curious. Tomorrow...I tackle the 80's!)
• Tonight, the laundry is sorted, the dishwasher is running, and I made a dinner that everyone ate. I wish the rest of the house reflected the fact that I've done nothing but pick-up since I've been home; but I'll celebrate the small successes anyway.

A Tale of Two Utah Bloggers

So...during all my years of blogging, I have become quite enamored of two women who blog in Utah. (Actually, one moved out of state, but still makes enough references to Utah that I've decided that it "counts." Especially since my title wouldn't be nearly as cute otherwise.) One of them is a member of my same church. She used to link here, she used to even read here; but then she let me know that she disapproved of me on no uncertain terms. I think it had to do with my link to Feminist Mormon Housewives and the fact that I've seen the movie The 40 Year-Old Virgin all the way through. I'm really not sure. I've decided from a few visits to the state and the perusal of several blogs from there that Mormonism in Utah can become more cultural than faithful-much like Catholicism can be for those who live in Italy. (And I saw that first hand as an LDS missionary.) And as an adult convert from the "Bible Belt" it seems to me that there are some ladies who live there that seem to speak a language I will NEVER understand. (And actually, I'm not sure I would like myself very much if I DID "get it")  And yet...I continued to read this one blog in spite of myself because I still found the blogger funny and inspiring even if she didn't like me.
The other blogger from Utah has a very different life from mine, or so it would seem on the surface. She and her partner are mothers to a beautiful little girl and I stumbled across her blog towards the end of the pregnancy. I love reading about the experiences of new families, and as you all know, in my world there are all kinds of families. She is a very talented writer above and beyond the talents of most mom-bloggers and should be publishing novels rather than writing blog entries-but until that happens for her, I will continue to read for free. Although I have little advice to offer when it comes to the unique struggles that any same-sex couple in Utah must face, I am a mom and can't resist commenting on the cuteness both in face and attitude that IS their little girl. Also, her dark places are very similar to mine only she articulates hers so much better. Anyway, her blog is one of my favorites and even though my church membership gives her every reason to distrust me (sorry, at the moment, it really does), she does not. After leaving a few comments, she emailed me to let me know what the password would be anytime that she chooses to write a password-protected post. She has visited this blog many times and left very kind comments.

Yesterday, I clicked on the familiar 'favorited' link to the blog of the woman I should feel that I have more in common with-only to find that, after a post last week that contained a small slam on my hometown, she had yet again rolled up the welcome mat, made her blog private, and certainly not bothered to leave me an email with the password to get back in. Apparently, I'm a faithless, creepy blog-stalker who needs to be taught a lesson. And I have learned a lesson. I'm quite sure it wasn't the lesson SHE intended which would sound a lot like "Oh dear, if I don't stop embracing people and their differences and change my voter registration back to Republican Sister (fill in the name) will NEVER let me read her blog again." No. The actual lesson was, yet again, who is my REAL neighbor? Thankfully, my neighbors here at home in the Norman, OK stake (which is was more than an "umm...nice" place to live) include many ladies of my faith as well as my many friends of differing ones. And my blogroll still contains several blogs of funny, inspiring LDS moms from all over the U.S., Utah included.

And one more lesson? It is apparently easier for a lovely same-sex couple in Utah (not to mention Dooce herself) to find their social niche than it would be for me if I moved there. Ironic, eh?

Babies 'R Huh?

So...now that I've seen the kiddo on ultrasound a couple of times, know the gender, and pretty much have a name picked out (SOME things get to be a surprise around here, right?) it occurs to me that I actually need some baby stuff around here. I did go to the local kids' consignment sale the week before last, but as I didn't know the gender until Thursday, that was the first day I could go. As predicted, pickings were pretty slim AND I just wasn't excited about buying anything that day. (Anyone else have days like that? Where you go to the store, look around, and you just aren't feeling it so you go home empty-handed? Or is that just me?) Anyway, I found myself on NW Expressway after work yesterday and, thanks to my grandmother and my cousin, for once I didn't actually have to race home to make sure my kids weren't left alone. So, I went to Babies 'R Us. I don't think I've entered that store prior to yesterday since 2004. Wow! It's been awhile. Everything was still pretty much in the same spot, but wow have things changed! Not only did I not find the stroller that I'm looking for (and pretty much the only reason I went into the store), but I left there even more confused and overwhelmed by baby stuff than I was before today. Here are a few observations:

• Chlorine-free diapers? What are these and have I permanently damaged my other four children because such things did not exist 5 years ago?
• Along those lines, I know they have better cloth diapers than those Gerber ones I like to use as burp rags. Where do I find these? Certainly not at Babies 'R Us!
• You can plug your iPod into vibrating bouncy seats and play pens? Why? Why do they even need to play music? All I need my bouncy seat to do is bounce! Where do I find one that just does that?
• Why does every playpen need a soundtrack, a bassinet, and an attached changing table? You know what works as a good changing table? Any surface you can cover with a blanket and lay baby down to change a diaper. If I'm feeling particularly formal, I'll buy a changing pad and stick it on my dresser. I can kind of see the draw in the bassinet feature, but again, I see no need for all the other little bonuses.
• Ditto most of this for baby swings. When Natalie was a baby, I was just sad that we couldn't afford one that had an open top, but didn't really see the need for it when I was honest with myself. So, I paid $35 at the brand-new Toys 'R Us in Norman for a clearance-priced older model and called it good. And it was. Now they are all open top and none of them (from what I could tell) just swing back and forth. They all move in some weird direction and each one is pretty sure what THEY do is exactly what your baby needs. I found it confusing.
• Why is everything down to the cute little Fisher Price baby toys gender specific now? You can buy just about anything in pink and flowery OR blue and covered with trains or sailboats. Why do the Fisher Price stacking rings have to be varying shades of pink unless you want to buy the "boy" ones?
• Why do adorable little baby girl clothes still fill me with such glee, even though I refuse to pay what Babies 'R Us thinks is a "good price" for them?

Fortunately for me, the Oklahoma county consignment sale starts next Monday. Guess who will be there opening day? (The good news about all of Dave's over-time? If I'm in a buying mood on Monday, I can actually do it. Any bets on whether I can find a used swing for $35 now? Because I'm thinking 'no.')

Zzzz

I have not blogged in the past 2 days because I cannot stay awake past 9 p.m. (and what I write when I do is not nice and ends up getting deleted) I am sure this has everything to do with being 21 weeks pregnant, but I still feel lazy for being so tired. And yet, here I am begging my 8 year-old son to get out of the shower ASAP so we can all go to bed. It should be noted that I never beg my 8 year-old son to stop cleaning himself up at any other given time in my life.

On a completely unrelated note, I taught myself to make a drop-down menu on FileMaker Pro! If you are familiar with FMP, you will know why this is so exciting. If you are not, just picture some of the most versatile database software you can possibly purchase. Now picture a small 20-page instruction book to figure out how to use the entire system. (And in this case, less is NOT more.) It may have more pages than that, but only because they used a big font for printing. If you are familiar with my usual level of tech savvy, you probably think I'm lying about this. I'm not. Just picture me asking all my poor co-workers to leave their desks and "come see what I just did!" It was the highlight of my day yesterday. I wish I was kidding about that.

St. Patty's Day

Given that most of my mother's side of the family is Irish, I guess I've been remiss in posting some kind of tribute to that heritage today. And so, at the end of the day, let me give you one last round of my all-time favorite version of "Danny Boy" and a small tribute to the last episode of the best soap opera ever written. (I remember setting our Betamax to tape this while I was at school.)

Musings on a Monday

• I wish I had more than today and tomorrow to spend with my kids on their Spring Break
• I wish my husband would talk to me in complete sentences
• I'm not thrilled about tonight's double feature of Space Buddies/Beverly Hills Chihuahua, but I was excited to find them both at a Redbox and to see the kids' faces when I pulled them out and showed them what I had.
• For those of you who were sorry that I swapped out a strawberry cheesecake craving for some strawberry frozen yogurt, you'll be glad to know that this time I bought Breyer's Girl Scout Cookie Thin Mint ice cream tonight. (My treat to myself for surviving the Disney Doggie Double Feature)
• Apparently, today was the day everyone who lives in Norman went to the OKC Zoo. I guess I missed it.
• I really need to get to the Frisco, TX IKEA this week, I really don't see it happening. (I want to buy a free-standing wardrobe for the kids' extensive dress-up clothes collection, and the one I want doesn't ship-you have to buy it at the store.)
• If this house has four bathrooms, WHY does everyone fight over just one of them?
• I slept in a bit today and even managed a nap this afternoon, and yet I can guarantee you I will be completely exhausted by 10 p.m. tonight.
• If the kids Dave and I taught as a newlywed couple are now all old enough to be married and have kids of their own, doesn't that mean I should be old enough to retire from the baby business?

Saturday Night in the Big Town

As I just Twittered, all the cool people are in Austin right now at SXSW. In my mind, I'm movie savvy as well; but the reality is I didn't even manage to see The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire, or even Revolutionary Road this season. (And I really wanted to see all three.) Instead, Dave is at work. Yup, the good ol' AFB has instituted mandatory 10-hour night shifts and 6 day work weeks.Yes, I know we're lucky that he has a job and that we're swimming in OT pay right now. But if it kills me in the end, what good was any of it? And my constant light-headedness and swollen hands and feet indicate to me that it really isn't doing me much good right now. Nor is Dave's attitude, but that's a whole 'nother story. So, any comments suggesting that I am ungrateful about our gainful employment are really unappreciated right now unless they are backed up with an offer to come over and help me clean, cook, and get my kids to bed at a decent hour because their messes and refusals to cooperate outnumber me four to one right now. Or five to one if you count the constant physical drain that growing my perfect and lovely baby is on my body. And I think that definitely counts right now.

Anyway, in lieu of doing anything enlightening or cool, my kids and I are sacked out in the living room and watching The Empire Strikes Back. I'm trying to wow them with my knowledge of behind-the-scenes trivia like the way they had to write in the scenes with the wampa to explain Luke Skywalker's scars that actually came from Mark Hamil's real-life car accident. But so far, they are unimpressed. Natalie went on to come up with no less than three different scenarios that she deemed "better" to explain those scars than the one George Lucas came up with and Tristan's knowledge of droids and Star Wars vehicles is turning out to be even more extensive/impressive than mine at my most intense Star Wars fan phase. And yet, we are still watching. My family sure knows how to live it up on a Saturday night. Y-A-W-N!

It's a Girl

And she is perfect.

Tomorrow is the Day

My 20 week ultrasound is tomorrow. If the little one is feeling cooperative, we should find out if it's a brother or a sister. Hopefully, we can follow up that discovery with some baby clothes shopping at the Spring kids' consignment sale at the fairgrounds. It will likely be pretty picked over by tomorrow, but as I won't know until then whether to get boy or girl clothes it seems pointless to go before then. (Of course, I wouldn't have to go at all if I hadn't listened to FlyLady and donated my baby clothes to Goodwill.) I'm hoping to hit Ikea in Texas over Spring Break as well. At least I am comforted in the knowledge that my crib wouldn't have lasted through another baby. In fact, it didn't survive the disamantling process when we took it down a few years ago. And high chairs at Ikea are only 19.99. So it's all good. Now...I just have to be patient until tomorrow.

To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Children,

Now that Mom is no longer suffering from continual nausea and migraines, it has come to her attention that things around this house are not up to my usual specs. Be advised that from now on, your daily chores have resumed their regular schedule because I am no longer feeling too wretched to ensure that they get done every day after school. Your morning outfits and hairstyles are again subject to mommy-inspection rather than dad's backward glance as he herds you all out to the car on your way to school. Moreover, your backpacks and homework folders are now subject to daily review rather than the occasional search you got from Dad after we got a call from the school about missing permissions, money, etc...Also, the standard of acceptable living in this house have just increased by about 65%, hence the chore reminder previously mentioned. Finally, Boomerang, PBS, and Cartoon Network are no longer serving as your surrogate parent in the absence of your dad in the evenings. In other words, I'm back kids! Did you miss me?

Dear Husband-

Ditto to everything I just told the kids and also the 'fast food catering service' you are so fond of any time I find myself under the weather is officially cancelled and WILL not resume in the week's following the baby's birth so-help-me!

Sincerely,

The Boss
aka Mom

Waiting...

• for two little girls to go to sleep tonight
• for my first Preservation Oklahoma meeting on Wednesday
• for my gender-determining ultrasound on Thursday
• for my family to let me know when/if they are celebrating my cousin's birthday this week-knowing darn well I will be left out if they're doing anything "fun" (part-member family=no "fun" most of the time)
• for Laniefest on the 21st and feeling grateful that those friends have never left me out unless my own circumstances dictated it (having many of your close friends still around you after 20 years=awesomeness)
• for this month to be OVER (after Laniefest) so that my husband will be home at night again
• for the middle of May when they will switch back from 10 to 8 hour shifts
• for a time when kids, mess, and pregnancy-induced exhaustion aren't threatening to swallow me whole
• for the other shoe to drop
• for just one last kid to fall asleep now
• for my turn to sleep

My Weekend Adventure Part Five

I awoke early again the next morning without prompting. Kelly went again in search of coffee and Lonna called to let us know that a family emergency was calling her home early. I feel like I wasn't very comforting, but Lonna should know (if she's reading here) that we lost Dave's mom to an unexpected stroke just short of her 50th birthday and just 6 weeks after Natalie was born. (Not her first grandchild, but the first one from Dave.) So that word tends to make me freeze up a little bit when I hear it. I am guessing that more than 10 years later, that won't change. So Lonna, as I said that morning and a few days later; I was and am so sorry to hear about that. And if I seemed a little short, it's not because I don't understand, but because I do all too well.

We spent the next hour or so getting all packed up and meeting one last time down in the 15th floor lobby. That too was disconcerting because the hotel lobby desk that had served as a meeting place and a camera tripod for us had been demolished first thing that morning and the construction area in the lobby had widened considerably. Toni's husband was on his way to a funeral that morning and was joining us for breakfast. As Toni pointed out, the man knows how to wear a suit. (Mine still wears his with a clip-on tie and white athletic socks-as someone who spent her teens and 20's in the presence of DeMolay's and LDS missionaries, I am likely more bothered by these faux pas than I should be.) We walked the freezing block over to Steve's Deli (and again I appreciated everyone's efforts to point out the icy patches to me so that pregnant girl didn't wind up on her rear end). I had missed lunch there earlier in the trip, but was excited about breakfast. Our waiter remembered everyone else from that lunch and I felt that he really spoiled us. He brought us fresh fruit, refilled my juice glass, and gently scolded Toni and I for not finishing our respective orders of French Toast. (Next time, we will split just one-promise!) It was a nice last meal in the city.

After that, we walked back to the hotel, gathered our belongings in one room, and did some final visiting before Janey returned to Woodstock with Toni's husband and Tee had to go to the train station. Once Dan returned from the funeral, it was time to separate. Tee had already disappeared when I realized I was still wearing the scarf she had been kind enough to loan me for the weekend. (Mine hadn't been in the car where I thought it was when I got to the airport.) Oops! Oh well, it's not like we won't see each other again-thank goodness! Since Kelly and I didn't have flights until later, Toni wondered if we would mind a walk to a local paper store. Of course not. Walking there (and back) I concluded to myself that while I am still determined to visit NYC someday, I will likely never have the same affection for it that I now have for Chicago. Even in the cold, I loved to see the high-rise buildings, apartments, and businesses all crammed in row after row, block after block and yet to still encounter so many friendly people on the streets. I don't remember experiencing this during visits to an aunt and uncle when they lived in Philadelphia, or in Toronto Canada, or even in the bigger cities I lived in while in Italy. But I certainly felt it in Chicago.

The paper store was adorable and charming, but bound to be beloved by all three of us when the first thing we saw as we entered were four stamps lined up on a display table reading "FRED." Wow! Coincidence. I prefer to think not. We looked around the enchanting little shop, had a very enjoyable walk back to the hotel, and sadly gathered our suitcases for check-out. As usual, it is always hard to say goodbye. Fortunately, we had the drive from the O'Hare airport to prolong our time with Toni. And Kelly and I had another hour or so at the airport to get some lunch (Johnny Rocket's minus the dancing staff) and visit just a little more before separating to our respective gates. Saying goodbye at the terminal C was hard. Arriving at my United gate to find my flight was, yet again, delayed was annoying. I'm sure Southwest does have late flights, sick stewardesses, and all the other annoyances I experienced on this trip; but I've never experienced them all at once before like this. As I sat in that terminal, I watched more people running to make connecting flights than I could count. All in all I was pretty unimpressed with United and will try harder to stomach a Southwest layover in Kansas City when booking future flights. Of course, Kelly flew Northwest and wound up spending the night in Detroit. So perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to point fingers at United. But I still feel like I owe Southwest an apology, so I'm sorry Southwest-believe me, I'll think twice about flying with any other airline if I'm ever manage to fly somewhere again. (Soon-to-be mothers of 5 probably don't do much traveling.)

I made it into OKC close to on-time, found my parking ticket right where I left it in my car (sometimes a problem for me), and was home with my kids before I knew it. This past week sure went a lot faster with all the catch-up I was doing, but since it brings us closer to Spring Break; I'm not complaining. All in all it was a good, if not all too brief, trip and I'm glad I got to enjoy some small part of a FRED since I will be missing the one this summer. Thanks for reading about my adventures.

My Weekend Adventure Part Four

Despite long days on both Friday and Saturday, I woke up surprisingly early this morning. So did my roomie Kelly. She went in search of coffee, I took a shower. Somewhere in there she must have chatted with the other ladies because when she got back to the room she let me know that everyone was showering and getting cleaned up and that we would be meeting in the lobby in about an hour or so. I think it was about then that we looked out the window and saw snow. Beautiful! No sarcasm intended here, it was absolutely beautiful.

An hour later in the lobby, I was one hungry pregnant girl. I packed granola bars for emergencies just like this and I had already consumed one. Those things can only carry you so far, though. At least I had been bumped up from 'about to collapse' to 'still needing to eat something substansial sometime soon.' Toni really wanted to eat at a place called Wishbone. I really wanted to try anything Toni, Lonna, Janey, or Jennifer S. said was good food in Chicago. Between the snow, the fact that it was a Sunday morning and there would be long waits for tables, and a few other factors (like me being cranky and hungry), we decided to leave the hotel a little earlier than we had planned. We took Lonna's car over and I want that as my next car! (And when my check engine light came on a couple of days ago-I thought it might happen sooner rather than later, but the mechanic fixed whatever was wrong. Doggone it.) As long as I wasn't driving, it was a fun ride.

I've visited big cities before, but for some reason I was fascinated at the apartment buildings, all the pedestrian activity (somewhat decreased by the cold weather), and...I don't know...just by all the activity even on a Sunday morning. The lake was frozen, but the wind was still blowing hard enough to create some impressive ice-covered swells. Toni would describe te different areas we were driving through, Tee (the driver) would remind her that she needed a navigator as well as a tour guide, and Janey would sneakily direct Tee when Toni got sidetracked by whatever she was telling us. It was your typical Freddie adventure.

We circled the restaurant block 2-3 times before Toni decided to drop us at the front and find parking (At least I think it was Toni who did that-just a week later, my memory is already getting fuzzy on that. Getting older stinks that way.) So we went inside. Had I not seen the waits at Pizzaria Uno the night before, the wait here would have really surprised me. As it was, I was relieved. We were waiting for Jennifer S. to get through with Mass and join us and a longer wait was a good thing. But sooner than expected, they called "FRED party of 7" back to a table. I ordered a hot chocolate, they brought it out in a huge glass. I think I like Wishbone. My usual favorite breakfast is pancakes, but Toni raved about the corn muffins, so I decided to get a spinach omlette instead because it came with a corn muffin. Besides, it's good to try something different from time to time. My brunch was great even if, according to Toni, the corn muffins were dry and disappointing to her. (We all discovered that they were quite moist when dipped in butter and syrup. Doesn't that make everything better?)

Jennifer S. went to a later mass than we realized and arrived towards the end of our brunch. Needless to say, she wasn't too happy with us for going ahead and eating. I felt really bad about this for a number of reasons. First of all, I was probably the most vocal about being 'ready to go and eat.' And also because one person had already gotten mad at me and basically written me off as a friend just for going to Chicago last weekend It's a long story that I don't care to elaborate on and one that I hadn't even planned on mentioning here except that as Jennifer was telling us how she felt (which I FAR prefer to stewing and passive-aggressive fretting), all I could think was "How many MORE mommy friends am I going to lose over this weekend?" She did grab something quick to eat and joined us for the rest of the afternoon at the hotel so I'm hoping all is forgiven. (Because Miss Jennifer, you are NOT expendable in my life and especially not over something like this.)

As I mentioned, we spent the rest of the day back at the hotel. Continuing with our "classy broad" theme, we brought those coolers down to the 15th floor Lobby, found ourselves a nice little grouping of chairs, a couch, and a table; and pulled out the sliced strawberries, grapes, and pretzels AND the tub of Lonna's famous "sex dip." That is some good stuff! We sat down there for hours eating, chatting, and sharing with anyone who came along and seemed friendly. (Two snotty little college gals who looked down their noses at us were NOT invited.) Eventually we were befriended by Ron. Ron was a former Detroit policeman who now works as some kin of consultant who was in Chicago on business. We learned all of this because he sat with us for about half an hour. We would continue seeing him here and there for the rest of the weekend. Good times. Towards the later part of the afternoon, it was time for Jennifer to get back home so we decided to take a group picture. Our plan was to set timers and use the former lobby check-in desk as a tripod. We tried a few like this, and then a man we had seen the night before at the bar happened by. (I forgot in yesterday's travelogue to mention that during our Saturday evening at the bar, there was a man with a notebook a few seats down from us who seemed amused by us. He confirmed this to us at one point that night.) He offered to take our picture, and asked as how we were feeling in a way that indicted he thought we were drunk the night before and hungover today. Nope Dude, we just act like that when we are together. No alcohol needed.

After the pictures and goodbyes, we went back to our rooms for some rest and re-grouping before converging on the bar yet again for dinner. (For THIS gal, it was too cold and snowy to go out that night. Not to mention, my feet were still tired from the night before. I'm such a wimp. I'm not even big enough yet to justifiably blame this on the pregnancy.) The plan was to order several different appetizers and split everything, but I just wanted a turkey sandwich. I'm fun that way. Our waiter was the same really fun guy who had made us laugh the night before (Freddie and her old flame sent him over to order the drinks that they were buying us that night possibly to distrct us from making faces at them. As IF!). We liked him. After the appetizers and my sandwich, we all split some really good desserts and Kelly and I called it an early(ish) evening. (It was still pretty late.)

As Kelly flipped channels back in our room, we stumbled across Big Love (edited to add: Yes, I have since then heard what they plan to do in this week's episode, and no, I have no desire to see it. Which is a shame because I really enjoyed the writing on that show. But some things ARE sacred, even to a 'liberal heathen' like me.) Oh happy day! I had resigned myself to missing it this week. I gave her the rundown on the characters and plotlines as we watched. To my chagrin, this was possibly the most gruesome episode they ever aired. Sorry Kel. Sometimes, it has cleverly scripted funny moments. (Like when Bill accidentally got left behind at the rest stop by all three cars last week. Hee! Hee!) You can take my word for it OR just rent Season One. Just be warned that the pilot contained a lot of unnecessary shots of Bill Paxton's butt. Apparently, no one was a fan because those seem to have disappeared altogether two seasons later. Thank goodness. Kelly was asleep pretty much as soon as we turned the tv off-once my teeth were brushed, so was I. Tomorrow was departure day. Sigh.

My Weekend Adventure Part Three

None of us really wanted to spend much time in our rooms when there were adventures to be had, so it wasn't long before we found ourselves meeting at the 15th floor Lobby. I think part of the reason we had so much good luck with Priceline on these rooms was because the hotel itself is being renovated. Every morning found a different spot in the lobby being torn down or reconstructed. I'm still glad we stayed there though because most of the views of the city were amazing! Once we were all together, we headed to the elevator to get down to the main floor. We shared the ride with a bellhop/bellperson/luggage transportation supervisor (not sure what the "PC" term is for this one these days). He recognized us as "the ladies who brought all the coolers up." I felt that Toni's response was the quintessential explanation of who we are as Freddies: "Yeah, we're those classy broads!" (Indeed we are.)

Due to various foot, ankle, and pregnancy issues (only me for this evening); we opted to 'cab it' over to the water tower and see The Magnificent Mile. We hailed a cab like it was no big deal. (In OKC, you call for a cab, you won't just find one on the street.) It was a mild thrill for this little Okie gal. (Yes, there were taxis in Italy, but they were "troppo caro"="too expensive" for us missionaries.) It wasn't a far drive, but I have to admit that in 26 degree weather after my long hike through O'Hare; I'm glad that we did. Our first sight was the historic water tower. After a few pictures there, we walked a block over to the 4th Presbyterian church where we took several pictures outside and inside. Once inside, Toni offered to show us her "spring break panties" but quickly changed her mind when she heard someone coming our way. I think we were a little disappointed that it turned out to be a maintenance man rather than a "man of the cloth." Because THAT would have made for a much better story. After a few more pictures, we hit The Magnificent Mile in full force. I saw The Hancock Bldg., The Drake Hotel, AND (most important to my girls) The American Girl store.

Frankly, as cute as the store was...my ADD-ridden brain was overwhelmed by all the stuff. Wow! It had everything you see in the catalog and THEN some. It was fun to see it all, and I appreciate Janey for being the tour guide for Kelly and I because had she not shown us around I would probably still be wandering around in there. Needless to say, not everyone wanted The American Girl tour so we regrouped at the bottom of the Mall and went off in search of food. But first, we wanted a view of the lake. Sadly, the walkway was closed so we walked around some city blocks for a better look, ending up at Ghiradelli's for some free chocolate samples. At this point, it was really getting COLD! This is where we all took turns talking about our faces being freezing. Eventually we found ourselves at Pizzaria Uno which had a 45 minute wait. So we tried its brother restaurant, appropriately named Pizzaria Due and found NO WAIT ON A SATURDAY! (Sorry, even here in Norman that's a big deal so I'm sure it was a pleasant surprise for the Chicago natives. I know it was for this hungry pregnant girl.) We were seated immediately and did what we do best-chatted it up loudly and animatedly! Lots of laughter, lots of TMI, lots of fun; and more deep dish pizza than we could eat! Wow was that some good stuff! But after one piece, I was DONE.

With much relief, we took cabs back to the hotel. We really weren't that far, but my feet were done with walking and my inability to button my coat over my pregnant belly in the cold was really starting to annoy me. Toni chatted up our very entertaining Ethiopian cab driver though we apparently lost the "race" with the other cab. We went up to our rooms, ditched our layers of scarves, hats, gloves, etc...and met back at the hotel bar. I am not usually a fan of bars, but now that smoking bans have become the norm, they aren't so bad. This one had two walls comprised of windows that provided an incredible view of the city and a pretty extensive menu of non-alcoholic drinks-though I pretty much stuck with Coke. I was quite amused that night that yet another one of us was meeting up with an old flame for drinks. I'm thinking one of us needs to do that at least every other FRED. My turn was at the inaugural FRED in 2007, so...who's next? Speaking of meeting men for drinks, after Kelly had gone up to get some sleep and left an empty seat next to me-you will never believe what happened. Some random man in the bar came over from his table, walked over to the chair, looked straight at 36 year-old married, pregnant me and said "Do you know where a guy could find a seat since I'm done with my dinner." (The restaurant was closed for remodeling, so all meals were served in the bar.) I do believe he was flirting with me. How weird! I had also experienced this on Friday at our fundraiser, but chalked it up to volunteer bartenders working only for tips (still might have been that). So you tell me what the draw is in a chubby, married, pregnant 36 year-old that wasn't there when I was 23? Just wondering. Anyway, I was completely floored at the attention and a more than a little nervous; so as I sat there with my jaw in my lap; Janey gave him the PERFECT answer to "Do you know where a guy could find a seat?" by indicating an empty table by the window and saying "over THERE." She rocks! Who needs random guys in bars when I have my Freddies?

Not long after that, I realized that I was exhausted too and so did everyone else. So, we left one Freddie (who shall remain nameless because I do not have her permission to spill here) with her old friend at the bar, and while I can't speak for the other ladies-I was sound asleep about 20 minutes later.

My Weekend Adventure Part Two

I woke the next morning ahead of my alarm clock. After such a late night, that's not normal for me; but I had a plane to catch. The fancy B&B breakfast wasn't until 9:00 a.m. so I went to their little Butler's pantry area and made myself a pretty impressive yogurt/granola mix. I went back to my room, packed one bag to take to Chicago and another to leave in the car. United Airlines charges $15 per checked bag and after flying Southwest for so many years (where the first bag is free), I could not bring myself to pay it. So, I packed a surprisingly light amount for me and went outside to load the car. Wow! Was it cold! I tried to go out without a coat, not a good idea. I guess Oklahoma City was getting me ready for Chicago weather. When I re-entered the building, I was touched to notice free coffee mugs with hot chocolate packages and apology notes waiting outside everyone's rooms as a way to smooth over the lack of running water from the night before. I was amused to note that one room had a coffee table book on Bed and Breakfasts and a t-shirt in front of theirs. They must have been BIG whiners.

I left my keys at the front desk and wondered how long the drive to the airport would be. The answer? About 15 minutes. There was actually parking IN the parking garage that wasn't on the roof and before long I was at security and beyond it to my gate. I bought this plane ticket via Orbitz.com after discovering that for the same price as a Southwest flight with a layover in Kansas City (not my favorite airport thanks to their multiple security check-points every 3-4 gates in the terminal) I could fly United direct to Chicago. I thought it was a good deal at the time. Now, I'm not so sure. Not long after getting seated and using up the 20 complimentary internet minutes allowed at the airport (Attn: OKC airport-I was completely unimpressed by that. It's free in K'City. Just so ya know.), I got an Orbitz text letting me know that my flight would be delayed an hour. That was confirmed by airport personnel about 15 minutes later. Apparently, the flight attendant in OKC was too sick to fly with us. (Fine by me, keep your germs to yourself and off my tiny airplane) So, they had to bring in a back-up flight attendant. FROM CHICAGO. That's right, we had to wait the time of our outgoing flight for a stewardess to come in from Chicago just so she could fly back TO Chicago. Brilliant. No wonder our airlines are in trouble. It's silly, but I knew this meant I would miss lunch and I was just sure my friends would be going somewhere cool. Oh well...what could I do? Nothing. So I waited with everyone else.

Some of the passengers were very unhappy about the delay. Many of them felt the need to get on their cell phones and express that disappointment quite loudly. One lady in particular. Guess who I wound up sitting with when we finally were able to board the plane. Yep! That's my luck at work again. However, as I wasn't the pilot, the long-awaited stewardess, or anyone else associated with the airline; we actually got along quite well and, as there was an empty exit row seat once we departed, she switched to it not long after our flight took-off and I had both seats to myself. We actually arrived about 20 minutes earlier than the original delay said that we would, but because we weren't expected; we sat on the runway anyway and didn't pull to the gate for quite awhile. While we sat, I had fun texting back and forth between my friend Toni and her husband who was picking me up at the airport. The plan was to meet at the baggage claim.

Can I just tell you that to a little Okie gal, Chicago O'Hare in one freakin' HUGE airport. The "this way to Baggage Claim" signs should read "Baggage Claim-5 miles," Baggage Claim in three more exits," "1.5 miles left" etc...It was one LONG walk. (There was actually a much closer baggage claim, but as I flew United I had to go to their special area as O'Hare is their major hub airport.) One very amusing sign was at the top of the baggage claim area escalator that basically warns you once you go down the stairs; you must exit the airport. My thought was "Oh man! I really wanted to walk another 10 miles through this place. What a shame that now I have to leave it." (My thought was sarcastic, in case you didn't catch that.) Before long, I saw the very familiar sight of Toni's three boys who, up until that time, were only known to me in pictures. (Or should I say four boys as their dad was with them.) You know that affection you have for the kids of your close friends? It was immediate upon laying eyes on those guys. I felt like I had known them since they were born, and technically, I have-even though this was the first time I met them. Their Dad was decked out in full Kansas Jayhawk regalia in an attempt to tease me. I like Kansas, so I was only amused at the gesture. (Toni, tell him next time to find some Texas Longhorn gear. THAT would do it.)

I got my first glimpse of Chicago (AND its traffic) on the drive from the airport to the hotel. As expected, everyone was at lunch when I arrived; but I wasn't too worried that one way or another, I would find something to eat. In what felt like no time at all, Toni had joined me and her boys and we waited in the lobby for everyone else. We were at the RiverMart Holiday Inn, though this lobby area accomodated several other businesses as well. This conversation amused me:

Toni: The waiter messed up everyone's bill. I originally named our waiter Awesome Paul of the Awesomeness, but then I downgraded him to Okay Paul of the Okayishness.

Toni's husband: (completely deadpan) Did you eat someplace medieval?

Not long after that, the rest of the Freddies arrived and I was hugging Kelly, Tee, Lonna,and Janey. I may have missed that meal at Steve's Deli (but I would eat there before we left), but I had the girls with me and all was right with my world. We went up to Toni and Tee's room where I helped myself to all kinds of snacks that Toni had brought from home and called it good. (And honestly, it was probably the healthiest meal I ate for the duration of the trip.) I loved that she brought a cooler with her (I think Lonna did too) because if there's ever a FRED OKC or even a FRED Dallas, you had better believe that I will be bringing mine. After saying hi and bye to Toni's boys, we visited a bit ourselves before going to our respective rooms to get settled and ready for an evening on the town.

To be continued...

My Weekend Adventures Part One

To really tell the story of my weekend, I have to backtrack to the day before the trip. For the past three years, my museum-type place of employment has hosted an annual fundraiser in February. It is a black dress/sport coat event and as a former Rainbow/sorority girl; it is nice to once again have a reason to get all dressed up and go out. Silly-but I've missed it. Anyway, this particular fundraiser is a fondue party/competition. Restaurants, most of which don't routinely serve it on their menus, make a sweet and a savory fondue (usually a chocolate and a cheese) and are judged by an expert panel (usually local chefs, business people, and we've always had at least one news anchor) and are also eligible for a People's Choice award. There is a live band, chance drawing items, and this year a live auction. My volunteer duties have included serving coffee, bussing tables, serving fondue, taking tickets at the entrance, and (of course) lots of setting-up before and tearing-down afterwards. I really enjoy this event even though I was pretty much useless when it came to lifting this year (sorry co-workers!). As a treat to myself, I always spend the night in a nice OKC hotel when the evening is finally over-for the past two years, it's been here. It's become my favorite metro area B&B and it makes for a nice weekend.

This year, Tee's impromptu visit to Chicago (home of four of the girlfriend's group commonly referred to here as the Freddies) prompted me to invite myself along for the visit. Soon, Kelly decided to come along as well. Obviously, Friday was out for me as a departure day, but having the museum closed on Monday for a well-deserved post event rest did make a small getaway do-able. So, I booked a flight, booked a new room at the B&B (I'm determined to stay in each of them), and spent most of Friday spiffing up the Meinder's Hall of Mirrors at the Civic Center for the big event. We finished setting up just a couple of hours shy of check-in time at the B&B so I went to Penn Square instead. Soon enough though, I was in my room doing all those things we gals have to do to make ourselves look good for a fancy evening. My dress this year is one of my all-time favorites, even though it was a maternity dress. I'm not so huge and off-balance yet that I can't wear heels, so I did. (But I probably won't be wearing them much longer.)

For me, the highlight of the evening was the chocolate truffle dipped in cherry sour fondue sauce. After sampling that one, I declined to sample anything else because I knew it would get no better than that. (And it won the "sweet" fondue category, so apparently I wasn't alone in my opinion.) Sadly, that particular participating restaurant is actually a catering company that doesn't have that delicacy on their menu so tasting it was definitely a one-time experience. After three years of fondue-tasting, it takes a lot to impress me-and this stuff really did. I even went around to my co-workers telling them to be sure and sample it, and it is not like me to bother with that. Especially when it meant I had to walk around in heels to find everyone. It really was that good.

The evening ended, people went home, and suddenly my feet felt over-stuffed in my shoes and my hands puffed up in a way that scared me a little bit. My co-workers agreed and sent me back to the B&B and while I felt very bad leaving them to all the clean-up (which I know from experience is quite a chore), they pointed out that my inability to lift made me pretty much "useless" and I really couldn't argue with that. I got back to my room around 11:15 and thought that I might enjoy a nice bath in my room's jacuzzi tub before bed. (Our old house had a jacuzzi tub in our Master Bath, this house doesn't. Oh how I miss it!) But I couldn't get any water when I turned the faucets. Ditto for the shower, sink, and toilet. Hmm...not good. But, do I call the front desk of a residential B&B after 11 p.m. and bug them? I didn't want to, but I did. Pregnant women need potties. It turned out they were having plumbling problems and had shut off the water to repair them. I hadn't been in the room earlier to get the message and they were glad I called. Within 30 minutes, all was fixed and working but I couldn't help wondering if this one little glitch in my weekend plans was a sign of things to come...