Good Things About Today...

So...today was my due date, and I'm thinking it's pretty unlikely that anything is going to change with this baby until I meet Dr. P at the hospital like a good little girl and let him hook me up to the dreaded pit drip. I've decided to remain hopeful that my body will be as receptive to this as it has been in the past and that we will avoid a c-section. As far as going into labor on my own? Well...I've never done it before and it was a pipe dream to think it would happen this time. I am disappointed, but I also acknowledge that where this very small puzzle piece fits into the grand scheme of things is a complete unknown to me. Everything happens (or doesn't) for a reason, and maybe just once I shouldn't question things. (But only just this once.) So, I spent today trying really hard to focus on the good that has come from the fact that I'm still pregnant and will probably stay that way for the next four days or so...

• I got to see Tristan's show today. He's been in a 2-week acting class. He preferred this to the big productions his sisters did because it did NOT involve singing or dancing, just acting and some student input on scripts, parts, and costumes. I knew his show was on my due date and just assumed it would be his Dad to take him and watch the play. I'm glad it was me-and he did a great job!
• After the show, the kids and I walked down to the little import grocery store and bought some real, grate-it-yourself parmiggiano and a bottle of aranciata (Italian orange soda) for the tortellini salad I'm making for lunch tomorrow. I usually don't allow myself the luxury, and I'm already very excited about it!
• My house looks great! I mean that in the overall sense, because right now kids are playing, meals are being prepared, and life is happening. But by bedtime it will all be in place again in part because I had an extra week to work on the cleaning/organizing/purge-fest that I started back in June when I became a SAHM again.
• The farther from those last few days in July/first few days in August this baby's birthday is, the easier it will be for me to still do my annual girlfriends' getaway that falls on those dates whenever that weekend happens to be each year. I would never miss my child's birthday, but I get so much from those weekends every year that I don't want to miss any more of them than I have to-obviously, I'm not there this year. It may seem silly to everyone else, but it's a huge priority to me.
• I'm taking Natalie to see a student production of Les Mis tomorrow afternoon. A lot of her friends from the theatre are in it and I really wanted to see them perform too. I had assumed, again, that another family member would go with her and again, I'm glad it's going to be me after all. (A little curious about what's different in a "student" version, but I guess I will find out tomorrow.)
• I've had time to get my hair cut, a pedicure, and see a couple of movies that were on my must-see list for the summer. Who knows what other fun I can find while waiting this out?
• And finally, now that grandma is up for Friday nights, I can go join her right now for some pizza and a good game of Scrabble instead of just hearing about how the kids got to do it while I was in the hospital.

See?! It's really not so bad. And sooner or later, I will have a new baby. I'll keep everyone posted...

Thursday 13: My Summer Movies

Last night my usual bout of pregnancy insomnia kept me up until sometime around 1 a.m. (Believe it or not, I prefer this to falling asleep at 10ish, then waking up at 4 a.m. which was the pattern up until last night.) As I was finally ready for bed, I noticed the opening credits for Al Pacino's Author, Author starting up on HBO. I had no desire to stay up and watch it, but I had to smile because I remember watching it countless times during countless summer breaks growing up and I think it's kind of cute that they still play it. There are several other movies that also remind me of summers past either because they were released at that time or because that's when HBO decided to play them non-stop during the late afternoon when it was just too hot to be outside. So here are 13 movies that just say "summer" to me:

1. Six Pack-Does anyone else remember this one? It starred Kenny Rogers and young 'uns Diane Lane and Anthony Michael Hall. HBO played this many a hot afternoon and me and the rest of the neighborhood kids watched it so much we could repeat the dialogue word for word. It was on a few times this summer on the country music channel. Dave and I watched it for nostalgia's sake, but my kids weren't too impressed by it. Natalie did recognize Ms. Lane though, and thought it was pretty cool that she is still working. I think so too.
2. If You Could See What I Hear-Mark Singer before V playing Tom Sullivan. I was probably WAY too young to watch this movie, but what can I say? As long as I was in the house, my mom wasn't big on supervision. I haven't seen this in ages, but I know it would remind me of childhood summers if I did. (Before the days of VCR's, I had this one, Six Pack, and The Muppet Movie on audiotape to listen to in the car on road trips. Did other families do this or was it just my Dad?)
3. Grease 2-Another HBO constant-and an all-time favorite movie of mine even though I recognize it for the sub-par sequel that it actually is. Sometimes, nostalgia trumps reliable discernment over what is and what isn't quality filmmaking. (Not to mention quality acting...)
4. Peter Pan-One of my all-time Disney favorites! They showed this at the Norman Public Library every summer and we never missed it. While I understand why showing movies at the library would no longer be the big deal it was when I was a kid, I wish they still did it. My family used to go to Andrew's Park at around 10 a.m., play until it was time for a picnic lunch, then spend the afternoon cooling off in the big room at the library watching a movie. (Peter Pan was a popular one, but I also remember frequent showings of Oklahoma, Where the Red Fern Grows, The Hobbit, and Free to Be You and Me, and one about some family in the backwoods that tries to hide the fact that they are orphans-saw it several times, but the title escapes me right now.)
5. Houseboat-This came from a later era in my life when the 4th of July weekend meant going to Canadian, TX with my friend Lanie. Because entertainment there was limited, Lanie's mom made us bring lots of movies-many of them taped off the Disney channel. This one came on the other day and only Natalie wanted to watch it with me. Close enough. Other movies from the Canadian, TX era include:
6. Dangerous When Wet-How can you go wrong with Esther Williams, Fernando Llamas, and Uncle Charlie from My Three Sons? Not to mention an inexplicable cameo from Tom and Jerry?
7. Three Little Words-Fred Astaire at the end of his career and Vera Ellen at the start of hers. I still love this movie.
8. Summer Magic-There was always someone we could paint as "Cousin Margaret" when we watched this. This is one I would love to see again. I'm not sure how Tristan would feel about it, but the girls would love it. I should probably pay closer attention to the Disney channel to see if it's going to air before the end of next month.
9. Return of the Jedi-This opened at the Satellite Twin theatre in Stubbeman Village on OU's campus just after I finished the 5th grade. I wasn't there for opening night, but I lived within walking distance of that place and walked over there every time I had enough money saved up for another ticket to see it. I think I managed four screenings that summer. I might have seen more, but there was an arcade right next to the theatre and that's usually where my leftover quarters went. I didn't have Pac-Man fever, but I loved to play Ms. Pac-Man, Q-Bert, and that cheesy Star Wars game quite a lot back then. I know summer is when they released all the other Star Wars movies as well, but I remember that ROTJ summer the most fondly.
10. Star Trek: The Search for Spock-Because I'm not really a very good Trekkie, I'm not sure which number this one was, but it did play opposite Return of the Jedi in that same theatre for most of that summer, and I had to see it too. That was one good summer.
11. Harry Potter-The movies aren't always released in the summer, but a summer vacation in 2000 was when I discovered the books (as audios on vacation), it's when the new books were released, and the three movies that have been released in the summer have prompted trips to our favorite drive-in theatre (The Chief in Chickasha). So for me Harry Potter and summer are synonymous, even if they really aren't.
12. Dirty Dancing-"Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Need I say more?
13. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves-Though I would just as likely slice my own palm with a knife than sit through this again, it was all we could watch, quote, or listen to the soundtrack from during THE Summer of '91 and I never see it while flipping channels (or listening to the radio) without remembering those days fondly. So, it makes the list even though it's not one I would watch again by choice. (Though, sadly, my kids love it now-so it occasionally makes an appearance in my living room.)

*BONUS* I can't believe I forgot to list HBO's other 80's favorite: The Pirate Movie! I loved that one. Still do on the rare occasion that it shows up on TV. Sadly, I can still sing along with it too.

For more good Thursday 13 lists, click here!

Wordless Wednesday: So THAT'S What They Look Like

Nothing to See Here

So, I saw the Dr. again today, and yet again I've made no progress. Oddly, I am OK with this because my body doesn't feel all that ready to me either. But, like most OBGYN's looking to keep their patients and babies safe, my Dr. isn't as OK with it as I am, and wants to try an induction next week. If conditions aren't favorable for that (as in, I'm still not dilating) by next Thurs., then he warned that we could be looking at a c-section. While all I really want out of the deal is a healthy baby, I would really like to avoid a major surgical procedure that, to me, seems unnecessary. My body has always been a bit uncooperative when it comes to labor. All four of my other children were scheduled inductions and I've always secretly wished that they hadn't been. With the exception of my first delivery (which was complicated) all the other ones have gone just fine and I guess I shouldn't complain, but I've always wondered what would have happened if we waited it out. In a way, my lack of progress has kept my Dr. unable to pull out his day planner, call the hospital, and pick a day for me to have my baby and I kind of liked it that way. I didn't think he would play a c-section card with me and I'm rather frustrated at the whole situation.

In part, I'm annoyed at my body. I remember my mother going spontaneously into labor with both of my sisters and I wonder why mine doesn't do that. In part, I'm annoyed at myself for not pursuing the certified midwife/freestanding birth center option with this birth as I wanted to when I first found out I was pregnant. (Dave gave me that "you're crazy" look and I totally caved because my whole adult life is pretty much dominated by my determination to prove that I'm not. Which means I probably shouldn't have married someone whose mother had a nervous breakdown...but I digress.) And, I already had an appointment with my Dr. before I found out about the pregnancy anyway and it was just easier to go there as I've done with my other four children. And I'm not really sure I can even trust my body to labor without medical intervention, as three out of my four deliveries required pitocin for my contractions to be effective anyway. Add that all together with a Dr. who just wants to see this happen safely and with as few incidents as possible, and you are left with the incredibly rotten mood I'm in tonight.

I know that the bottom line here is just to have a healthy baby, but I wish it could just happen without all the scheduling and drama that will surely come next week if I've failed yet again to dilate and we do the induction anyway. So, I guess my request here is that if any of my readers feel so inclined please ask God, the goddess, the universe, or any other higher power you worship to help me go into labor on my own some time before my next appointment on Monday and to help me avoid any more conflict about how or when I deliver this baby. Thank you.

Week In Review

Reading-

The Accidental Housewife by Julie Edelman-

As much as I've been enjoying all the homemaking books I've been reading this summer, this one just hasn't managed to grab my attention.

Taming Your Spirited Child by Dr. Michael H. Popkin-

Most of you have met my son, this book appears as if it will be helpful. As with all things where he is concerned, time will tell...but the book has given me some new coping strategies

Listening-

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling-

I finally figured out while, despite evidence to the contrary, I always wanted to believe in Severus Snape. And it all comes from the little "your moment has come!" speech that he gives to Gilderoy Lockhart in the staff lounge just after Ginny Weasley has been taken into the chamber. I just never could believe that anyone with such a delightfully wicked sense of humor could be all bad. Apparently, neither did J.K. Rowling. We finished this one early in the week while cleaning the girls' room. Azkaban in on my 'hold' list at the library now, but I'm third in line so we haven't started it yet.

Watching-

I've given up on TV this summer. I loathe Jon Gosslin's actions WAY too much right now to consider tuning into Jon and Kate Plus 8 when it comes back on (Dude, you look like some 30-something with hair plugs chasing much younger women just because you can. Oh wait...that's exactly what you are. Pitiful.) and the episode of 18 Kids and Counting that I tried to DVR last week didn't come through because of the weather.

At the Movies-

Ice Age 3-

I am not a fan of Ray Romano's whiny voice (but did manage to watch Everybody Loves Raymond because the rest of that ensemble cast ROCKED), so I wasn't excited about this at all. But, we went to the drive-in to see Harry Potter and had to sit through this first. I think "sit through this" pretty much describes my experience with it, but Dave and the kids liked it and it wasn't bad-if you don't mind Ray like I do. I do enjoy me some Denis Leary though, so let's just say there could have been worse "first movies" at the drive-in. Like the time I had to sit through the live-action Garfield movie to see Prisoner of Azkaban. That time, Bill Murray pulled me through. But...I'm digressing when I should be getting to the main review:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince-

I've had very mixed reactions from friends about this one. They either love it or hate it. Obviously, I'm not going to do much spoiling here, but I will in the Comment section, so only click there if you've seen the movie or don't mind a few details. I will say here that I really enjoyed it, that you can never make 2 hour movie from a huge book, and that I thought it was a good effort. Also...I LOVE Alan Rickman. Though what is it with his movies that always causes one of the main characters to pull out a knife and cut their own hand with it?! I DO NOT LIKE THAT. (As anyone who saw Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with me in the '90's can well attest.) Anyway, Natalie and I loved the movie though I was surprised at how little it made me cry. Even Tristan liked it and paid full attention. Does this mean an interest in the books is forthcoming? I can only hope...

Extracurricular Activities-

Youth Conference-

As part of the Stake Young Women's Presidency, summers are always full of Girls' Camp and Youth Conference. Because of the coming baby, my ability to participate in these activities has been limited, but I love being at them because I am so involved in planning them. While I hope this baby comes soon, I have to admit that I spent most of last night at the dance and later the testimony meeting just feeling happy that I made it to see both happen. If you ever forget why you are grateful to hold a stake calling with the youth, especially one that takes a lot of your time and energy; I suggest you go to a youth testimony meeting. That always helps me to remember, anyway. (And watching several of them learn to do the hula properly was pretty fun too-the dance was luau-themed and one of the youth leaders in our stake is from one of the Polynesian islands. She had her daughters dance, then she made the youth and some of the leaders do likewise. The kids loved it-and so did I, probably because I didn't have to do it.) It was fairly sentimental for me. The 17 and 18 year-olds enjoying their last conference were literally babies when I was baptized (and I remember most of them as such) and now some of the ones born during and just after my mission are old enough to be there too (Youth Conference is for 14-18). So, whether I feel it or not, it's official: I'm old. But as long as I don't FEEL old, I think it's OK.

Hopefully next week's 'review' will be full of nothing but new baby talk. But, if not, there's always next week for that too. Thanks for reading.

Why No, I Haven't Had That Baby Yet, Thanks For Asking (and asking...)

Anyone who has been in their final weeks (or in my case, week) of pregnancy knows what I'm talking about with the above title. After weeks of hearing from no one, everyone feels the need to start checking in "to see if you've had that baby." While I am not at all happy about the level of disorientation and dementia in which Aunt M now lives on a daily basis, I have to admit that the lack of phone calls from her this time around has been nice. (She isn't even aware I'm pregnant most of the time. Sad.) My grandparents, however, have been regulars since two Sundays ago. At one point, I found it cute. Now that I'm so huge I cannot bend over without a second person in the house to help me back up, I'm a little tired of dwelling on the fact that "No, no baby yet" and "No, Dr. P has no idea when it will be this time." Dr. P is usually quite fond of scheduling inductions for me and, because my body responds to this more favorably than waiting on actual labor, I am happy to let him. However, according to Dr. P, my cervix is being particularly uncooperative this time and I am "uninducible at this time." (Not sure I spelled that right and don't care to go look it up.) This has been his pronouncement at every appointment I've had this month including yesterday's. So...we wait. And please know that if anything changes, I'll call YOU.

Thursday 13: What I Learned This Summer

Since I hope to soon be so busy with the new baby that I completely lose sight of this blog for a little while, I thought I would post my usual summer re-cap a little bit early. (Hey, they're already posting school supply lists and having sales so my timing isn't THAT soon.) As has been blogged to death here, I left my job at the beginning of June and re-entered the world of the SAHM. It wasn't an unfamiliar one, I did it for 9 years before completing my Masters. Nor, did I think, was the adjustment going to be that big since I only worked part-time. Hmm...was I right about that? We'll see...

1. Aldi's is a huge saving on groceries, but you do have to pick and choose what you buy there. So far, I've been happy with the meat, the produce is hit or miss but I like most of it, I like the 4-packs of toilet paper, but won't be buying another economy-sized package soon (just ask my friend Christy about the importance of good t.p.), the canned goods and crackers/chips are all right too; but the kids don't like their brand of 100% juice. Still, it's worth the drive to me to do most of my shopping. The one closest to my house is also close to a Wal-Mart, so I just hit both on shopping day.
2. A good friend whose kids have a much wider age range than mine told me that while it seems like being home with the kids as babies is more important, that's really more about making sure the little ones don't hurt themselves. According to her, the teen years are really when they need more supervision, even though they are deemed "old enough" to be by themselves by society at that point. My oldest is only 11, but after almost two months, I think she has a point about that. (Which doesn't mean my kids will never babysit or be left home alone as they get older. But it is good food for thought.)
3. Whether you work or not, there still isn't enough time to do everything you want. On the flip side, there is a little more time for doing money-saving things like hanging laundry, fixing more meals from scratch, or shopping at two stores on grocery day. (Perhaps some of you can do that AND work, but I couldn't ever juggle it all.)
4. Hanging laundry is not so bad.
5. Neither is homemade bread (according to me and the kids-DH is still not a big fan.)
6. Programming the thermostat for a little warmer and playing outside in swimsuits when it gets hot is also effective.
7. And even more effective when Dad doesn't lower it behind my back and think I won't notice. (I'm not sure what his allergy to saving money is, but it's annoying.)
8. I have a lot more time on my hands to notice who is getting away with what behind my back. It's been a rough summer for BOTH my boys.
9. Tristan's issues with school are a lot more easily solved than his teacher of last year led me to believe. Basically, he shuts down when given a task he can't do perfectly. And, once bored because he doesn't know how to do it and has no other desk work, he gets into mischief. Annoying and difficult? Yes. Manageable now that I know what the problem is? Also yes. Having said that, he really wants to give their new school a try, so I'm going to let him and see what happens.
10. My girls LOVE to perform and Natalie is really good at it. I know everyone likes to see their kid on stage, but seriously...WOW!
11. Acting classes have been good for Tristan too. His teachers are always GLAD to see him and he comes home talking happily about everything he did while he was there. It's such a nice change from last school year's nasty notes every day.
12. Being pregnant in July is every bit as bad as people said it would be, but we are almost done-thank goodness.
13. My kids are a joy to be with and a lot more capable than I realized. It's been a good summer and I'm sorry to see it end.

For more Thursday 13's, click here!

Packing My Suitcase

I started packing my hospital bag today. Not because I think anything is going to happen, but because I'm tired of jolting awake at 2 a.m. in a panic because I haven't done it yet. Since it's been 5 years, I actually had to do an Internet search on "what to bring to the hospital." Pitiful, no? (I gave away all my pregnancy books years ago and no way was I buying new copies of those.) Anyway, I read over the lists and, as a delivery room veteran, thought I would post my take on the packing list:

For Mom:

Back massage aids (tennis ball, hand-held massager, etc.) I brought all of this for Natalie's birth and it sat in my suitcase. I think had Dave tried to use any of it, the words "don't touch me" (among others) would have been involved. Loudly. Tristan was born before we could get most of my stuff out of the car. I was placed in a tiny exam room to start his induction. He was born within 15 minutes of getting me into my birthing room. Needless to say I didn't even bother for the last two. Now, I did have a rice sock that you could heat in the microwave that I did like, but Dave hated bugging the nurses at their station to ask them to do that every time it needed re-heating. I would hate that too, and I skipped it with Elisa as well. I'll use it when I get home...if I can even find it. Hmm...do I even have it anymore?


Music (Walkman, tapes or CDs) My iPod is always in my purse, and I once had great dreams of delivering Caroline via natural child birth to the more serene parts of the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, but those didn't work out and I think I'll be fine without it this time too. I did watch Return of the King while in labor with Elisa (and amusingly, so did Dr. P any time he came to check on me), but that's not quite them same.

Hair accessories to pull your hair back (if applicable) OK, I'll give them this one.

Lip balm Wish for it when I don't have it, don't use it when I do remember it

Personal toiletries (glasses, contact lenses, toothbrush and toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, lotion, etc.) Well, that one is kind of a no-brainer, isn't it?

Robe I typically use a second hospital gown backwards. No point in ruining my stuff is there?

1-2 night gowns (optional, as hospital gowns are provided) See above

3-4 pairs of cotton underwear Prefer the glamourous "disposible" ones the hospital provides until I have to go home. Again, why ruin my stuff when adequate substitutes are available.

Slippers I think I'll take my Crocs this time. They are far more sturdy that my beloved Kermit slippers

Socks Yes, definitely. And I can throw some in the suitcase right now.

List of names and phone numbers of family and friends to notify about your news Or if your husband pulls a disappearing act. Just saying...

A book or magazine Maybe for some people, but I can never concentrate on one during labor and afterwards there's that whole 'looking after the newborn' thing to deal with, so I skip this one too.

For Baby:

Car seat Yep, can't leave without it.

T-shirt (not a "onesie," since you don't want to cover up the umbilical cord) Oops, forgot not a Onesie. Time to re-think the going home outfit, I guess.

Sleeper I guess we'll go with that instead

Receiving blanket Hospital gives us one, but thanks to my mom I've got this one more than covered.

Hat Again, the hospital has them, and I don't this time so that's a good thing.

Clothes to go home in Thought that's what the sleeper was for, maybe I'll bring 2.

Snowsuit (depending on the weather conditions) Umm, not in July I'm thinking...


For Mom Post-Partum:


Nursing bras (2 or 3)  Check

Comfortable homegoing clothes (early pregnancy size) I usually just wear what I wore to the hospital. Keeping in mind that I get up and dressed at 5:30 and then check into the hospital by 6:30 and change right into a gown. If I went into labor spontaneously, things would probably be different as I hear that can be messy.

Well, that about covers it. I'm off to grab those socks and put up the cute little Onesie.

Random Thoughts

• Skipping the Week In Review this Sunday-no particular reason except I just don't feel like writing one
• The year 1958 is haunting me this weekend. On Saturday afternoon I did some volunteer work at the museum accessioning a collection of papers from 1959. Just as I thought I had finished them in order, I found 1958 in a disorganized stack behind them. I got them organized too, but now I'll have to re-number the accession records the next time I get a chance to go in and work. Today, I watched Houseboat which was made in 1958. And tonight's Cold Case episode? Also set in 1958-of course.
• Did you know the original plot of Houseboat didn't involve the maid being the daughter of an Italian conductor AND that Sophia Loren wasn't originally cast in that role? It was Cary Grant's wife who was supposed to play her, then Cary met Sophia...sad backstory that ultimately ended his marriage (though Sophia never had anything to do with him). BUT, I can't imagine that movie without her and the "Bing Bang Bong" song or "dolce far niente" quote. Can anyone else?
• Quote of the week: "Even I can replace a toilet!" ~my buddy John, you know the one who liked to watch Chris and I put up the tent on camping trips? Dave wasn't there to hear that, but I still think he got told.
• I almost want to make a list of all the other incomplete projects around here, but it's been a long day, I'm finally feeling normal again; and I think that would be counter-productive. Tempting, but not really helpful.
• I did finally figure out why vents about my mother and my husband dominate this blog, though. Both of them are extremely stubborn individuals who rarely acknowledge blame, compromise, or apologize even when confronted (no matter HOW gently) by the person they've wronged. (In this case, it's me-but I've seen them act this way with others too.) In contrast, I am a very sensitive person who needs to have her feeling acknowledged and validated by someone. Because I get no satisfaction by trying to work with either of them; I write to cope. (I write to cope in all situations, so this is no surprise.) And I post to get validation. I don't know if this is good or bad, right or wrong; I'm just glad to have figured it out on my own.
• "Know thyself." ~John Gardner, from Grendel
  

Nostalgia

One of my old friends had a housewarming party tonight which pretty much turned into a mini-reunion as we all guessed that it would.  I heard this on the way home:



Not too surprising that it was and is one of my all-time favorite music videos. And don't think I haven't done that dance in the grocery store because I have on many occasions. All I'm missing are the pink slippers.

38 Weeks and Counting...

I am officially 38 weeks pregnant today. According to the pregnancy books, the baby could come any time now and be considered full-term. According to my life experience, it will be 2 weeks until my scheduled induction. That's OK, I have things to do and people to see for those next two weeks so as long as the baby remains active (at times uncomfortable, but ALWAYS reassuring), I'm good to go. Having said that, I look and feel huge, my legs fall asleep if I sit the wrong way, my hips hurt no matter what I'm doing, Nexium keeps me heartburn-free but I was up to 8 Tums per day before I thought to get the prescritption, and I get tired from doing almost nothing. Sounds like the end of the 3rd trimester to me.

On the good side, the crib is FINALLY set up which means all the bedding is in it and off of the changing table. My suitcase isn't packed yet, but I have everything that's supposed to go in it now. (I thought about packing it this afternoon, but a step-stool is required to get it down from the closet, and I probably shouldn't stand on one of those when I'm NOT pregnant.) The downstairs part of my house is fairly clean and there is hope for the upstairs getting finished before D-Day too. The kids have one more piano lesson next week and then are off for the month of August. I am more giddy and excited than any mother of four should be about welcoming baby #5 and I offer no apologies whatsoever for that. I never pictured myself with more than three kids in my family because that's what I grew up with. But, as life has handed me something different. I've decided to embrace it and enjoy it.

(This post was for those of you who would like to hear more about the coming baby, and less of my usual "being a wife and mom is SO hard" schtick. I hope you liked it.)

Thursday 13: "Slimy, yet satisfying"

"Slimy, yet satisfying." That's what Timon and Pumbaa teach young Simba about eating bugs instead of fresh meat when they find him in The Lion King. (Not to be confused with The Lion King 2 or The Lion King 1 1/2, though I'm sure we own them all if you need to borrow them for clarification.) Anyway, while going about my day yesterday, I found myself reviewing things that I do as part of my routine that I also find oddly satisfying. (Though eating bugs in lieu of meat will definitely NOT be one of them.)

1. Hanging out the laundry-Maybe it is because as a very small child I used to do this with my great-great Grandma and Aunt M or because Anne and I spent several of our adolescent summers in Tucson doing likewise, but I really enjoy what I'm sure most would find to be a really unpleasant task. I try to drag Natalie out there with me as much as possible to keep me company, so far she doesn't find nearly as therapeutic as I do.
2. Kneading Bread-While I usually do use a breadmaker for such a task, I brought one recipe home from Italy that not only is unadaptable to the breadmaker, but also requires ten full minutes of kneading. I don't make it often, but when I do I understand better why pioneer women probably didn't need as much Prozac. (I also understood this when I used to demo rug-beating at work.)
3. Decluttering-I'm trying to get the house down to a more acceptable level of chaos before the baby comes and life as I know it stops altogether for about 6 weeks and turns into a sleep-deprived blur. (During which time the older kids go back to school and the whole taxi driving routine begins again. Yikes!) Anyway, I've gone back to my Flylady roots and spend as many days as I can getting rid of as much as possible. Every day, I dread doing it and procrastinate a lot before getting started. And then, without fail, it is nearly impossible for me to stop myself once I get going.
4. Overpaying on things like car payments, credit cards, and the mortgage-I think my husband and I will always be at odds over this one, but I love paying more than I need to on all of the above. One of the things I'm doing as part of the 'bail our rear-ends out of debt yet again' financial plan is reviewing our various debts and seeing what can be paid off with the liquid assets from my money market acct. (set up by my Dad and I in lieu of a retirement package when it became obvious I wouldn't re-enter the workforce until my mid-30's) We really needed to pay off Dave's car, so much that I was willing to cash out some things at a loss if needed. BUT, it turned out that we owed far less on it than we realized and will be able to pay it off without a problem by the end of the week. That is one piece of good news I really needed this week.
5. Filling my pantry as cheaply and healthily as possible-I'll spare you the minute details, but let's just say I love the fact that there is an Aldi's and a Wal-Mart within a block of each other about 15 minutes north of my house. The thrill is in saving my receipts and then trying to go under the total from the week before last.
6. Fixing something myself-The longer it sits on DH's 'to-do' list without getting done, the more satisfied I am when I do it without him. My most recent accomplishment has been hanging up the rest of the clothesline. He was "pretty sure" we were still saving money only hanging up half of the laundry and just putting the other half load in the dryer. I wasn't. I love my new clotheslines, and I love even more that they can be taken down and put up easily so we don't accidentally hang ourselves when we are in the backyard. Anyone want to help me replace the Master Bathroom toilet? Or finishing the halfway set-up crib. That's up next, but I'm not sure all the bending over and lifting at 38 weeks pregnant will be all that easy by myself. (The crib is actually my fault, last night he realized he was missing a bolt and used the words "rig up something else" in conjunction with finishing my baby's bed. I said to just wait and buy the right bolt on the way home from work today and therefore do it right. I'm so picky sometimes.)
7. Exercising-Much like decluttering, I can come up with every excuse in the world NOT to get started. But then I always feel so great and am so gratified by the results. Of course, just getting through my day with four kids and a very pregnant body feels like a workout lately, but I can't wait to start reclaiming myself once this baby decides to show up.
8. Bringing something good to read to my Dr. appointments-While all the other pregnant mommies are jockeying for the two newest copies of whatever Dr. P has out  in the waiting room, I'm enjoying my copy of Home Comforts or Anne Lamott essays without bothering to look up until my name is called. I'll admit it's a little silly, but having my own book that I don't have to share makes me happy.
9. Dropping off recycling or clothes/items to their proper bins in town-We are great about boxing and sorting here, and terrible about remembering to drop it off. So, as annoying as it is to drive into town with our loads o'junk, driving away from the drop-off spots feels great!
10. Using my own shopping bags-Little old ladies in Italy discovered this LONG before it became the trendy and green thing to do here in the USA. But I'm glad it's finally caught on here too.
11. Giving my opinion on matters other than homemaking and child-rearing-Shortly before leaving my job, I attended a museum round table discussion about issues concerning...welll...museums (and libraries). Over the summer, I was invited to be a part of a museum focus group evaluating public perception, I have also taught a couple of lessons in Relief Society that focused on church doctrine in the last few months. It's not that I don't embrace my role as a mother, but there is more to me than that and it is nice to tap into those places from time-to-time as well.
12. Finishing a shopping or to-do list-I'm very good at making these, but when it comes to completing them...THAT'S when I find the joy in them.
13. Making a menu for the week and sticking to it-When I do this, the kids know what we're eating, the shopping budget stays on track, and life just goes a lot more smoothly. It may not be as spontaneous as other families, but it works much better for me than guesswork every day at noon and 4 p.m.

For more Thursday Thirteen's, click here.

Now I've Heard it All

My husband can be a bit of a know-it-all (picturing my friend Chris reading this and saying, "A BIT?!!" but I'm trying to be nice here). Last weekend he took us several miles out of our way by accidentally exiting onto LBJ (I-635 in Dallas) from I-35 south simply because both the GPS and I were telling him he needed to get one more lane over and we clearly don't know as much as he does. I may not drive that much in Dallas anymore (I'll admit I prefer to have him do it), but I certainly had to as a single gal. Before they built the Oklahoma City temple, the closest one to attend was in Dallas and it is located off of 635 and Preston Rd. So while I know nothing about downtown Dallas, the Grapevine area, OR all the new George Bush toll highways; I do know the LBJ/I-35 junctions and exits going both north and south very well. It didn't really inconvenience us that badly, but sometimes his constant surety that HE is right is very annoying, especially when he isn't. (And while he didn't exactly apologize, he did acknowledge that we were on LBJ a lot quicker this time around than he would have a few years ago.)

So, last night the baby is kicking and squirming and letting me know in all ways that she is crowded and uncomfortable. Since I knew she was awake, I thought I would try something I read about recently. I grabbed a flashlight and tried to get her to follow the light. Given how quickly she stopped moving altogether (for which my bladder said "thank you, thank you!), she had no interest in this at all. The kids and I tried for a few minutes more before giving up on it. To which my husband said "Well, Mom would have a lot more luck with that if she didn't do things like that while the baby was sleeping." Umm...excuse me? I may not be a walking road map, I may not know how to put a crib together or replace a toilet (because if I did those things would be done by now and not still works in progress...AHEM); but as I'm the one carrying the baby and as I'm the one who has had four babies before this; I *think* I know better than he does when the baby is awake and when she isn't. I'm not mad and I wasn't last night when he said it, but I am incredibly amused. Apparently, he really does know everything.

Riding in Cars with my Daughter

Natalie and I have some of our best talks in the car. I think it's because my need to face the road and not her, and her relative anonymity in the backseat makes it not unlike a confessional experience for us. On Saturday, Natalie was invited to a birthday party. It was already a little bit deja vu for me because the party was at the OU Pool where I used to walk from my parent's little rent house near campus almost daily in the summer from grades 4th-6th. (I would NEVER let my children do this. I'd say "what were my parents thinking"? but back then, we all did it.) It was also pretty neat because it was a party for the niece of one of my close friends from middle school and high school. In fact, because Natalie will be attending a different middle school than the one her elementary school feeds into, this young lady is the only person she will know at the start of the school year. That touches me too, because I met her aunt during the first week of 7th grade right after her family had moved here from Venezuela.

And so, I was trying to explain all the connections to Natalie as we drove to the pool. This friend and some of our trials have been mentioned on this blog here, but I was hoping not to get into all of that with my 11 year-old daughter who still thinks I'm a pretty decent person. And of course, the first thing she asked was "why don't we know her as well as we do Aunt Chris, Aunt Wendy, and Aunt Lanie?" I guess I could have fibbed and chalked it all up to her going to France as part of an exchange program just after high school or because she married and moved away many years ago. However, I deal in honesty with my children and while Natalie didn't need the full, detailed story; I did tell her that I let a stupid boy that I liked come between us. That he had done so because he wanted to isolate me from my friends so that he had more control over me. And that I had been too afraid to defy him because I was worried no one else would ever think I was cute or want to marry me if I did anything to make him go away. I went on to tell her that the other "aunts" in her life were a little younger than I was which mattered more back then, and he didn't find their proxemity to me as threatening. Her response? "Boy did he underestimate them, Mom!" (She SO gets it, I love her.) I told her that I had been very wrong to do that. That I wished she knew C's aunt as well as she did my other friends. That yes, we had made up and I no longer felt guilty, but that there are years we could have had as friends that we will never get back now. I told her that once I had finally shaken this jerk loose, there had been many other boys who wanted to date me and that I had had no problems finding a husband and that it was foolish to think that the first boy who liked me was the only one who ever would. And finally, I pointed out to her that while I loved her dad and he was a good provider and a good father; at the end of the day it has always been her "aunts" that have pulled me through the roughest times in my life and that I'm glad I never managed to run the rest of them off, even though I can think of several occasions where they would have been wise to leave.

This led to a fairly productive chat between us about why she would have rules for dating that I never did, why I would likely be more over-protective than even her dad was when she did start dating, and some things I've learned about boys in my time. Her comment? "Middle school boys are turning out to be a lot dumber than I thought they would be." (My comment to myself? "YES!") I hope she was listening to what I was saying. I hope she remembers it later when it will matter more to her. I hope she and this niece become good friends at school next year. And I hope Natalie's "aunts" know how very much I love them-and that includes the one I almost lost forever.

*While I hate to take away from the sweet ending to this post. I just have to include the end to our conversation:

Natalie: Mom? There's one piece of mom-advice you forgot to give me just now.
Me: What's that?
Natalie: Never go by yourself to meet someone you talked to first online.
Me: Well, when I was your age, there was no "online."
Natalie: Really?!

And she shot me a look that said she was pretty sure I was just slightly younger than the dinosaurs before joining her friends in the pool.*

By Way of Explanation

Some of my closest friends worry when I explain myself too much that I have slipped back into patterns of living my life to please everyone else and placing myself on the lowest rung of what's important. A slightly censored walk down memory lane with my oldest daughter yesterday brought back memories of how much I used to do that and showed me with older, more experienced eyes how much those incredible women loved me and helped me get over that part of myself. (Natalie has become friends with one of Susan's nieces, and I was telling her how that all fits together in the grand scheme of things. That conversation alone would make for good blog fodder, maybe later this week.) So, I want to reassure them that while I don't feel the need to apologize for things I said in my last post, I do want to clarify what I wrote lest I come across as "ungrateful" which is a quality I do find unappealing in people-and overwhelmingly a problem for today's youth. (And this I know very well because I work with them.)

The last part of my Week In Review post mentioned my disappointment that no one from my local church congregation attended my baby shower. This is not because I have greedy aspirations for baby gifts, it was a "diaper" shower and even without any of their participation I received plenty of those. (At least 2-3 months' worth.) But what does hurt is that this baby will be raised not just by me, but by the very people who avoided my shower yesterday. In a couple of months, my husband will name and bless this baby in front of them, standing in a circle with some of their husbands. As much as I'm dreading it, I will have to inconvenience myself finding nooks and crannies to nurse in as this building has NO dedicated space for that and an overcrowding problem anyway. I'm pretty dedicated to breastfeeding, and typical Okie culture is not exactly supportive and (as I've been told) neither is this particular branch. However, I have responsibilities to myself, my children, and the other church members to show up and contribute and I will do that despite the huge annoyance that finding a place to feed the baby is going to be. (Elisa was still nursing when we moved here, so I've already dealt with this once.) When the baby reaches 18 months-old, she will be in the Nursery, then in the Primary, and so on and so forth and these people will be her teachers. She will be PART of this congregation. Could no one take a couple of hours out of their day to celebrate her anticipated arrival with me? Apparently not. And it makes me not want to share her with any of them.

If I've learned one thing over the course of this particular pregnancy, it's that whether or not it was my intention to get pregnant, the ability to conceive and have a healthy baby at the age of 37 is really a miraculous thing and whether it's the first baby or the fifth baby, ALL babies arrivals should be celebrated. I don't know why it took 5 kids before I figured this out, but I'm guessing all the extra testing (which prompted a little too much research on my part), watching some of the people closest to me struggle with infertility, and a few very publicized losses here in the Blogosphere earlier this spring have really opened my eyes to the fact that I am supremely lucky and blessed to be having a healthy baby-even if it is "another girl," even if I have done this four times before, and even if it does make me "an unemployed mother of 5." (Ten points to whoever guesses which one of the family members has been tossing that one around over the last month.) Because I've read too much about all that can go wrong with pregnancy at my age and because I've been exposed to a lot of grief and loss both in my personal life and here online in the last nine months, I am extremely grateful for this little girl-perhaps more so than I was for any of my other children because this time I get it in ways that I didn't before now.

When I was still working and we were doing our Land Run re-enactment week, there were two older ladies who volunteered. One was back from the year before, the other was the wife of our accountant. Both women are lovely and I was happy to spend time with them between teaching sessions. Both of them come from the Baby Boomer generation who, like my FIL, believe you should only replace yourself and your spouse when you reproduce and both of them told me that if they had to do it over again; they would have had more children. Seated next to me at my shower yesterday was the hostess's mother. She raised her children in Peru and of the nine she gave birth to, only five lived past their first year or even past their first few hours. My kids think she's their "abuelita" too and she has showered each and every one of them with hugs, kisses, and that adoration understood primarily by those few other women who have stood in her shoes and know that each baby really and truly is a miracle. I'm very grateful that I didn't have to learn that lesson in the same way that she did, but I'm glad that I eventually did learn the lesson. And so, I am not apologizing for anything that sounded like "sour grapes" yesterday. But I also feel the need to explain where my mind and heart were when I wrote what I did and I don't think I can do it any better than I've just done here.

Week In Review

Reading-

Plan B Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

I just started reading this and so far I LOVE it. I took it with me to my Dr. appt. last week and it made me so happy in the waiting room that I'm saving some of it to finish at my appointment next week. This woman definitely speaks my language when it comes to both writing and religion. I read Grace Eventually last summer, so I am apparently reading these out of order, but this one is so far my favorite of the two.

The Duggar Family: 20 and Counting

No, I don't have any plans to take after them. However, I'm about to have more children in my own home than I ever envisioned and I wondered if there was anything in this book to help me. Most of it, I'm already familiar with; but I did like finding out about how the family started out, how they have no debt, and learned that Michelle is a Weight Watchers devotee just like me. It wasn't a very long read, and it turns out I have more in common with the family than I thought I did. It was worth the time I spent reading it.

Listening

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Thanks to a quick trip to Dallas, we are almost through with this one quickly. Obviously, we are going to miss my goal of being through with Book 5 before we see the movie for Book 6, but since it will likely only be Natalie who sees it with me; that's OK. She just finished reading all seven books (again) recently. Still it's nice when Caroline or Tristan start asking for Harry Potter as soon we get into the car. I knew Natalie loved it, and I'm glad the others do too. Listening to this one did bring up on question that I don't believe Ms. Rowling ever addressed in subsequent books or her other supplemental interviews: Exactly what house did Professor Gilderoy Lockhart come from, anyway? I Twittered this and asked it on Facebook and the consensus was Slytherin. There were compelling reasons for that, but I'm still unsure. All I know is that is wasn't Gryffindor.

Watching

Michael Jackson's Memorial-

My kids are so sick of Michael Jackson music and media coverage that it almost amuses me. Needless to say, they weren't pleased about me tuning into this show at all. But, his career span pretty much matches my lifespan, and I felt compelled. However, I did not expect to get emotional about it. But I did. No more so than when his daughter (who is Natalie's age) talked about her "Daddy." Think what you may of him, but I think he did right by those kids and I feel for them in this situation more than anyone else. If fans truly wanted to do "what Michael would have wanted" they would leave them alone to lead as normal a life as they can, but I doubt it will happen. Poor babies. All in all, it was a very touching tribute and I'm glad I bothered with it if for nothing else than the last ten minutes of it when the family spoke.

What Not to Wear-

I like this show WAY more than I should. Will it improve the way I dress after baby? Probably not, but I do enjoy watching anyway.

Out and About

The Big D-

Before I knew we were broke, I told Dave he could take the kids to Medieval Times one weekend this summer. When I found out we were broke, I also discovered he had already purchased tickets. So, I Pricelined an acceptable room (I know that's not a verb, but for those of us who use the service; it should be.) and decided to let them have their fun anyway. I'm glad that I did. We did a lot of window shopping, I got some alone time while Dave and the kids were at the show, we listened to a lot of Harry Potter; and we made it home in time for a birthday party Natalie wanted to attend AND my shower. Which was also good timing because apparently my grandmother was rushed to the hospital last night while I was enjoying that alone time and is stablized in the CCU today. I saw her as soon as the shower was over this evening and she seems to be doing well. My sister works there, so my infomation is very good right now and her outlook is also very good. Apparently, her bad heart and this bad heat aren't very compatible. It makes sense to me.

Baby Shower

In theory, I get why no one would expect a shower for her 5th child, and I didn't. But one of my close friends opted to throw me one anyway. Let me just say that when you don't do anything to celebrate the anticipated arrival of one of your children, it does make the pregnancy feel pretty unremarkable. I was insistent that I wanted NOTHING done when expecting Caroline, and I regret it. My grandmother insisted that we do something when I was pregnant with Elisa, and it made me a lot happier than I thought it would. This time, I kinda sorta needed a shower because I got rid of everything as Elisa outgrew it-toys and clothes-and I was grateful someone offered to do one for me. I didn't pick the date, I didn't send the invites, I was just told when and where to show up and that's what I did today. And again, it was worth it. Unfortunately, because my life can't be without drama of the most annoying sort, there was another shower for someone else where I attend church today. Well, she doesn't attend there, her relatives do. She generally views us churchgoers with an attitude just beneath scornful. (She was one of the youth I worked with, and she was pretty much rude to us when she bothered to show up at all.) But, based on the fact that absolutely no one from that congregation showed up today, I guess I was deemed the "less deserving" of the two of us. Frankly, it hurts. But you know who did show up? People from the congregation we left when we moved four years ago. It was a diaper/wipes/baby needs themed shower, and everyone was very generous. I had a great time visiting with all of them again, and really enjoyed the little impromptu talent show all our kids put on for us at the end of the party. And while I know moving here was the right thing, it's days like this that sometimes make me second guess that just a little. (In church terms, I have been visit taught exactly three times in the four years since we moved here.) BUT, as they say in Italy "si tira avanti" ("one moves forward") and I will.

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen seems to have a new hub here, so I'm going to make a list today. I escaped from my house last night long enough to take my birthday gift card to Barnes & Noble and finally spend it. Even when I don't actually buy books, there is something therapeutic for me in browsing the shelves there or any other book store, really. Last night, my mind seem to dwell a lot on things I wish I had done or, at least, had done differently during my younger years. Some were sad, most were funny. This blog has already done sad this week, so here are 13 fun things I wish I had done, or done more often, when I was younger (though it's probably better that I didn't):

1. Somehow, someway smuggled in an anonymous gift-wrapped copy of Sex For Dummies to my church boyfriend's wedding reception. Needless to say, Dave and I were NOT invited; but we knew many people who were and I think we could have managed it. I really wanted to at the time, but I didn't. Had I known how ugly and awkward he was going to make my first summer back in Oklahoma when we were all in the same family ward, I totally would have. Of course, I DID come to really like his wife as time went on...but I can't imagine she would have done anything but thank me for it later. (The boy had a super-high IQ and a perfect ACT score, he needed a little humbling.)
2. Gone toilet-papering or played hotel tag with John and the rest of the boys. While John, Chris, and I had many fun adventures; for some reason we were always excluded from those two activities. The only time I ever TP'd a house was for a friend's birthday and her mom knew in advance we were going to do it. Where is the thrill in that?
3. Let myself get auctioned off as a "virgin" (someone who has never seen the show before) the first time I went to Rocky Horror. I've regretted it so much I thought about lying when we all went to see the show last Halloween, but since I was all dressed up and buying a prop bag when they asked me; I don't think I would have gotten away with it.
4. Along those lines, I also wish I had (just once) dressed up in character and acted out the show up front while it was going on-we didn't really go often enough in my youth to justify that, but I still wish I had done it.
5. Two words: Cloud-busting, or is that one word? (See the movie The Fisher King for reference)
6. Gone to OU/Texas or even OU/OSU games while I was at OU. Granted we didn't have the best team during my years in school, but what was I thinking missing those? I worked at the stadium or used the days off from classes, which were often cancelled on Fri. around those games, for other road trips. Those were fun too, but still...I missed out.
7. Eloped to Florida and honeymooned at Disney World. Dave and I were so worried about stepping on everyone else's toes when we planned our wedding that I don't think either one of us really got what we wanted out of our parents' (and by "our parents," I mean "my mother's") plans. Not to mention my church Branch President's-if I had it to do over again...but it's probably for the best anyway since I might find myself pulling a Jamie Buckman (Mad About You's last season) if I did.
8. Gone out dancing/gone to more parties with my sorority sisters. Sometimes I did, but not nearly as often as I could have. This doesn't mean I wish I had done more drinking and acting stupid, but I should have done more dancing and socializing.
9. More impromptu road trips-I still laugh about our middle of the night jaunt to Muskogee
10. OK, now I'm running out of funny things to write here. Umm...tried harder to get my driver's license since it turned out to be such an easy thing when I actually did? (Not that it sounds fun, but neither was needing everyone else to give me rides all the time.)
11. Gone to a Blazer's hockey game or the races Remington Park back when they were new, exciting things to do. I did see a Blazer's game last year (which is good since they are leaving here now), but you could tell it was no longer THE thing to do in Bricktown. (Thanks OKC Thunder) So I'm afraid that Remington Park would be just as underwhelming for a girl who spent her childhood watching Seattle Slew race on TV sitting next to her Uncle Johnny. Maybe I should see a Thunder game while that's still fun-though I think it will be for at least a few more years. (Ironic that the word "Seattle" comes up in an entry about the OKC Thunder? I think so too, and it absolutely was not on purpose.)
12. Gone to the Tumbleweed in Stillwater, just once...it was always on the to-do list. It just never happened. But I'm sure I would have loved it.
13. And finally...I really wish I had told one of my other ex-boyfriends EXACTLY what his shortcomings were. He dated me when he was a senior in high school and I was a freshman in college. He was overweight, awkward, and had a very bad haircut. I was an adorable college freshman honor's student looking better than I ever would again in my life. But, he was a talented artist and had beautiful eyes so I gave him a chance making HIM the lucky one, right? Apparently not because 6 months later he told me I was "getting chubby" (which was rich coming from him) and that his mom really didn't like me and neither did his friends in Missouri (he had just taken me there to introduce me to them) AND that he never had really liked any of my friends (even though we met because he was trying to get one of them to date him). There were a lot of things about him that were disappointing as well (am I being ladylike enough in the way I put that?) and I never, ever got enough nerve to tell him. I SO wish that I had. He had no problem ripping me to shreds and unceremoniously dumping me. Why oh why did I have to just sit there on the other end of the line (yes, he did all of this BY PHONE-classy!) and take it? So...Sean Walkup, you were a JERK when you were 19!! There, I said it. I feel better now.

Wordless Wednesday: Death by Dinos

Back to Square One

When Dave and I were first married, it became immediately obvious that I needed to be in charge of the finances. As my FIL enjoyed pointing out, I didn't contribute anything (if you remember, our marriage and Dave's retracted promise to move to Arizona meant that I had to drop out of grad school and move back to OK-I was four months pregnant by the time I got back and while I interviewed for a few teaching positions-it's no surprise that no one was excited to hire someone headed into her second trimester). However, when Dave paid the bills, they didn't so much get paid and I got angry phone calls at home. When I took over, bills got paid. I wasn't seeking to 'emasculate' my husband, just to improve our credit score and I did. While he was in Bosnia, I paid off a LOT of our debts and really got us into such a good place financially that  by the time Elisa was born I let Dave take over because having four kids ages six and under AND working towards a Master's Degree was as much as I could handle.

A month ago, I returned to stay-at-home status. I've spent most of that month getting the house organized. And, I've fielded a few angry phone calls. Yesterday, we got a certified letter telling us we were two car payment behind and that our loan was in default. Today, I took back over the finances. That was not a pleasant way to start my day. Apparently, we are broke-ety, broke, broke, broke notwithstanding yet another line-of-credit loan that was apparently opened without my consultation. My morning prayer pretty much consisted of..."Dear God, I'll spare you the finer details of our bank balance and I'll spare my husband's life, just please HELP ME FIX THIS ALL OVER AGAIN!" Needless to say, I could go on about this at length, but I just don't have it in me to say more than I already have. The bottom line is, I do know what to do here to make things right. I've done it before...I'm just mad that after everything I put into making us solvent in the early years, I get to start all over again. Sigh...At least now when feeling sad about missing FRED 2009, I will know that we really and truly didn't have the money for me to go anyway.

Week in Review

Reading

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher-

I spotted this in the bookstore while shopping for someone else and knew I HAD to read it. I was familiar with most of what she was going to write about, but of course I was unprepared for how funny she would be when she did. I took me about three hours to read the whole book, it was that funny and that compelling. I love Carrie, and not just because she played Princess Leia once upon a time. I would definitely recommend this for a quick, entertaining read.

Listening

Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone by J.K. Rowling

Time to move on to book 2. This time, all the kids are excited about it and mad when I won't play it because one or two of them aren't in the car with me. I'm glad we are all enjoying it, even though it is probably my least favorite of the series.

Watching

Veggie Tales: The Ballad of Little Joe-

Yes, I really did just skip from a summary of how much I enjoyed reading the somewhat PG-13 rated writings of a woman who frankly discusses her struggles with being bi-polar and an addict to a cute little Christian cartoon. I am nothing if not eclectic. But THIS one I got to share with my kids, who all loved it. And, of course, so did I. But their spoof on Lord of the Rings is still my favorite.

Clean House: The Messiest House in America-

I often avoid these shows for fear of seeing too much of my own home depicted on-screen. Last night's house was SO bad though, that it actually made me feel better about mine. I loved what they did with the house, but I feel like these kind of shows don't properly address the issues that surround people who hoard their stuff like that and that as soon as the cameras stop rolling and these people are left to their own devices, the problems just start all over again. It seemed really clear to me that something like that may happen with the family they showed last night, in particular the mother. But...what do I know?

At the Movies

I'm sure I watched a movie at some point last week, but if I can't remember it now-it can't have been very good.

Out and About

The Gondolier's by CCOC Kids' Camp-

In case you missed all my glowing reviews on Facebook, my daughter is AMAZING!. At the beginning of the month, I was at Girls' Camp. I got a call one day from Natalie telling me that she was going to try out for the small, but very funny part of The Duchess after successfully auditioning for the company. (They audition for the camp itself, and then for individual parts during camp's first week.) She called me the next day to say the audition had gone well, but that they had also had her sing for the part of Casilda, the duchess' daughter and, as far as my wikipedia reading had told me, one of three female leads in the story. I just thought they wanted to hear how much her voice had matured since last year, because even my untrained ear knew that it had. I guessed that the roles of both the duchess and Casilda would go to older kids (I think they go from 9-16 years old or close to it) and that Natalie would be one of the "contadine." This suited me just fine because she is young and the "contadine" ("farmers' daughters") sing in Italian which I really wanted her to do. The next day, I got yet another call. A very excited call! Natalie had gotten the part of Casilda. I think I told everyone at Girls' Camp. Some of them even knew why that was a big deal. I was thrilled for her. And then I decided that because there were three female leads that it was a slightly larger part, but probably not as big as I was thinking it was because, after all, my daughter was still just 11. And with that, I spent the rest of June driving her to and from practice every day.
It was kind of funny to me in a "that's my life" way, no sooner did I stop driving the little girls to Sooner Theatre for dress rehearsals at Sooner Theatre then I had to start driving Natalie there for hers. But soon enough, Thursday came and it was time for the matinee performance. CCOC Kids' Camp typically does a split cast, so most of the lead roles had two people to perform them. In the matinee, Natalie was a contadina (chorus), and an older girl was doing Casilda. That older girl was VERY good. She had sparkling eyes, a strong smiling stage presence, and of course an incredible voice. I loved her performance and I was very nervous for Natalie to follow in her footsteps. I was reassured by another parent who had seen the rehearsals that while Natalie did the character differently, she was just as good and I would love watching her. I hoped so...but I did wonder what they were going to do when it was time for her to hit that 'super high note' (not being as musical as my daughter, that's what I called it-apparently, it's was a middle high C whatever that means).
So, before long the evening show came. Our whole family was there including both sets of grandparents and one of my sisters (the other was joining me the next day). The curtains went up, the opening number happened, and then...Natalie came on-stage. Was she sparkling and vivacious like her predacessor? No. She was demure, but it worked equally well. Watching her sing love songs with her 15 year-old co-star wasn't nearly as odd as I thought it would be, and did you all know my daughter can hit a middle high C? Because I didn't, but she sure can! (Yes, I cried) She was amazing. I didn't know she had that in her. She does still need a headset, but two of her music teachers assured me that her lungs just need to catch up to her voice and that, in time, she won't need that any more. (They also told me not to push too much with telling her to project because part of that is know-how, which she has, but that part of that is also physical maturity for her lungs, which she doesn't yet.) She was a little shy, she was a little nervous; but she is also 11 years-old and playing a leading lady who turns out to be a queen at the end of the play. So I was beyond pround of her and I wish I had done more advertising to get people to that show (Chris, you are excused.). All Natalie wanted was for her cousins, her friend Laura, her Dad, and her PaPa's, MeMe, and Judy saw her in the show; so she did not care. But I wish more people had seen her because she was wonderful. (And that's really my fault because I didn't make a fuss about it until the days of the performances.) In an aside, I find it amusing that she turned out to be queen in the show, because she is the only one of my daughters who does not fancy herself to be secret royalty. All in all, it was a big success for our summer and something I'm sure Natalie won't soon forget, because I know that I won't.

4th of July Party-

Somewhere in there, I managed to get the downstairs of the house presentable enough to have our annual 4th gathering. Even with the rain, we had some good food and managed some fireworks. The city cancelled the big show, but we had another gathering last night for that one which was also fun. For me, being able to sit in my backyard and go in and out of my house at will really beats the crowds at the park every year. Not to mention being able to put on some pretty neat shows of our own legally given where we live. I'm glad our party was smaller this year because between the pregnancy, Natalie's shows, and all the prep involved for all of it; I was pretty spent by the time people left on Saturday-and that was without sitting through the fireworks. Next year, I hope it doesn't rain, and I would love to see more people. But this year, I think it was perfect just as it was.

Happy 4th of July!

Bye Bye Sooner Theatre! Hello lazy summer! No worries, my Week in Review on Sunday will, no doubt, gush endlessly about Natalie's performances this week. But for today, we party like it's the 4th of July because...well...it is! Have a fun, happy, and SAFE 4th of July everyone!

And THIS is Why I Didn't Blog about Farrah

Because I knew someone more talented with words, could do a better job. No surprise to me that it turned out to be Cecily at Uppercase Woman. I'm a long-time fan of hers too.

(And yes, Farrah really was my favorite angel because she was blonde and so was I. Something my red-headed mother liked to make negative comments about as soon as I was old enough to understand them. And when given a choice between Farrah or Suzanne Sommers, I think I made the better call.)