But I digress...

Music Monday

2009-12-21T16:39:00.001-06:00

Because "vacation" didn't quite mean as many free days as I thought it would, I'm phoning it in today. However, you can definitely file this video under "PERFORMANCES I WISH I HAD SEEN LIVE AND IN PERSON!" right along with Lou Diamond Phillips in The King and I, Whoopi Goldberg in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Rosie O'Donnell and Brooke Shields in Grease, or Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal on stage in Rent. Oh wait! I totally saw that last one! (And yes, I'm bragging.) Anyway, since I wasn't there for this one, thank you to whoever was kind enough to post it on YouTube:

Believe

2009-12-20T20:24:00.000-06:00

For today's Christmas program at church, the women sang a wonderful song called "I Still Believe in Christmas." While this song was certainly about The Savior and not the man in the big red suit, I think at this time of year; the two are intertwined. At least, they are for me. I have long-maintained my right, as well as the rights of my children, to believe in Santa Claus. I think encouraging belief in those beloved and good symbols surrounding the season in which we celebrate the birth of Our Lord help us to give our children believer's hearts, and I can see that my efforts with my own children are succeeding.

Over time, Natalie apparently looked up St. Nicholas on Wikipedia, but loved the magic and surprise of presents on Christmas morning and continued to embrace the tradition just as I do. Last year, Tristan asked me about it in a way that made me feel like I should tell him the truth; so I did. Like Natalie, he now knows who puts the gifts under the tree; but he still believes in the magic. The little girls continue to believe in the man AND his magic, and no one encourages this more than their older siblings. I believe in letting children be children. I believe in letting them have a little wonder in their lives. I've never gone overboard with their gifts, but I'm big on spreading Christmas cheer in this house. I feel that teaching small children to believe in someone who will reward them each year just for trying to be good helps to prepare them as they get older to understand the sacrifice/gift that Christ gave to them and to all of us just for being born.

The Atonement is a huge concept for anyone to grasp regardless of their age, I believe that by starting with something small and lovely like the idea of Santa Claus, you prepare them for something as big and wonderous as Christ's ultimate gift for us. I acknowledge that it is just my opinion, but it worked for me as a new believer in my 20's and I thought it was a lovely way to keep Santa a part of our holiday traditions when I married and had a family.

Yesterday, I posted this sentiment on Facebook. I thought that I had written it out beautifully, and I am rarely pleased by my own writing. Of course, any time I feel good about something that I've done (which isn't often in any aspect of my life), there has to be a naysayer. This one said basically that when children find out Santa isn't real, they won't believe you about Jesus anymore either. My first thought was "That's the dumbest thing I've ever read." My second thought was "What if Natalie and Tristan don't believe in Jesus anymore?!" So, I pulled Natalie aside and said "Now that you know the truth about Santa, does that change what you believe about Jesus?" Her answer: "Mom, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Tristan's response was the same. I was relieved.

I let daughter read what I wrote and thrilled to hear that she thought it was beautiful and "one of the best things you've ever written, Mom." Since she's part of my most important audience, I decided that I didn't want it left up for anyone else to dispute and deleted it. It felt not unlike casting my pearls before swine to let anyone else criticize one of my best writing blurbs. (We watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers yesterday, and Natalie asked what that 'pearls before swine' scripture meant. After we discussed it, I went for the 'delete' button.) Instead, I'll save it for my children who DO think it's a good thought and who reassured me that it DID help them to grow into true believers now that they have both had their 8th birthdays and subsequent baptisms. And as Natalie pointed out "It's not like there never was a St. Nicholas, Mom. It's just that he was mortal and had a small mission and moms and dads still celebrate it in a small way once a year. Jesus is immortal and has a huge mission and we celebrate that one in a much bigger way every day. I've always known the difference between the two, and I think that most kids do."

I could say much in closing, but I think Natalie pretty much covered it (Yes, she edited a few times first, she's a writer too.) Besides, my beloved pal Kermit puts it much more eloquently than either of us:

"And if you find you stand alone in an unbelieving world,

Look to Him, you'll find that you can still believe."

"I Still Believe in Christmas" by Joan Sowards

In Which I Admit That I'm a Hypocrite

2009-12-19T16:13:00.001-06:00

When Alexis was born, I made quite a big fuss over feeling like I couldn't nurse her at church, or rather, that I had to leave the church meeting and feed her in a separate building because the layout of our church consists of a portable for Sacrament meetings and the original building for everything else. (We are at a Catch-22 right now in that we don't have quite enough people on a weekly basis for Salt Lake to build us a bigger chapel, but there are too many of us to fit into just the one space.) Most normal church buildings have a nursing mother's area with a speaker that broadcasts the meeting while you are feeding your baby. Ours does not.

Leaving the original building hasn't exactly provided me with that much privacy. The Elder's Quorum president walks in on my weekly trying to make sure I'm not a wayward teenager avoiding Sacrament mtg. And once, one of the Young Men came in to count Alexis and I. Actually, he is more evolved than most because when he opened the door and I advised him that I was feeding the baby his response was basically "Sister G, my mom nursed all 5 of us and it's no big deal. I just need an accurate attendance count so we can get our bigger building already. And I couldn't agree more with him.

Anyway, since my original complaints, many people have encouraged me to sit towards the back and feed the baby anyway. I have a big nursing cover, and I'm not the only one with a nursing baby right now. So, last Sunday I was determined to do it. I've thought about doing it before only to see the missionaries sitting nearby or some husband sitting by himself while his family was out of town, etc...But this time, I wasn't going to let anyone scare me. And so when Alexis got fussy, I pulled out my cover, put it on, and pulled her underneath it. And then...I COULD NOT bring myself to do it. Sure I had on a cover, sure I had been reassured it was all right; but when push came to shove...I didn't have the guts to unbutton my blouse in such a public place. So, I had a good laugh at myself and went back to the nursery in the other building and (for once) fed her without interruption from anyone. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Me=My own worst enemy. But at least I can laugh about it, right?

Christmas Vacation!

2009-12-18T23:14:00.000-06:00

Having survived a week of three class parties, four parent watch nights, two evening concerts, and a partridge in a pear tree; I should resume regular blogging again soon. Especially now that the kids are out of school for winter break. In the meantime, enjoy this video:

Can you believe I STILL haven't see this movie?! It's been on my to-watch list for years.

Week In Review

2009-12-13T20:23:00.000-06:00

Listening-

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix-

This is one of my least favorite books in the series, but it can't be passed over either. I remember not understanding "angry Harry" the first time I read this. I remember complaining about this and I remember a friend with older sons saying "Spoken like a woman whose boy is still in pre-school!" She was SO right. I'm all too familiar with Harry's attitude now. I thought we had this book on CD, but we are missing the first three CD's and a few in the middle as well. So, the library came to the rescue again. As long we get to the ones we are missing in the middle, the check-in deadline doesn't seem nearly as threatening this time because we can finish up with the ones we have. After this, we have all of Books 6 & 7 in our collection. Yay! I wonder when we will finish the series and I wonder what we will listen to next?

Watching-

The usual variety of Rankin/Bass Christmas specials, oh how I love them! I'm glad the kids still love them too. I need to put in The Muppet Christmas Carol before the season is over, it may not happen until the kids are out of school; but it will before Christmas.

At the Movies-

The Princess and the Frog-

The old Disney magic is back! We went to see this as part of Natalie's 12th birthday party. I don't know what I loved more: the movie or how easy it is to take several 12 year-olds to see one when compared to Tristan's friends at the movie's for his 7th birthday. The girls had fun and I loved how creative they got with Natalie's gifts. She has a good little group of friends, something every mom hopes for when her kid starts Middle School. But seriously, the movie was wonderful. Just as good as the ones I remember seeing as a kid (or a college student in the case of Beauty and the Beast or The Lion King).

White Christmas-

It's on right now...

Out and About-

Too much this week for individual reviews, so here's a list:

Alexis 4 mo. check-up (90th percentile for height, 20th for weight-time to introduce rice cereal, so far she hates it)
Tristan's Choir Concert
Rainbow Board mtg. (I was elected Mother Advisor, both Chris and I were appointed to the Advisory Board...can you even imagine?! But I really feel good about it.)
Natalie's Explo Exposition (program showcasing accomplishments in choir, band, orchestra, art, etc...at her Middle School)
Natalie's Birthday Party (reviewed above)
Juliet/Victoria/Natalie joint birthday celebration (My parents' first three grandchildren were all born in December. Aren't you glad you aren't them? Now that the girls all like to celebrate with their respective circles of friends, we pick one Sunday convenient to all the grandparents for a family celebration. It was earlier today.)

One more week of school and holiday activities before it all calms down a bit. I enjoy the kids' shows, but I have to say I can't wait for the quiet to follow!

I've got White Christmas to watch and laundry to fold, so that's it for tonight!

Growing Pains

2009-12-12T19:59:00.001-06:00

Natalie's birthday party was today and the real day is coming up on Tuesday. A plus is that her party was one of the easiest ones I've ever thrown. We went to The Warren for a movie and the party package included popcorn and drinks-that the girls could carry and fill by themselves. They could take themselves to the bathroom. They even knew how to behave themselves during the movie which is more than I can say about some of the adults in the theatre today. (The theatre ropes off seats for birthday parties, a lady tried to join us. The ushers dealt with it and, frankly, I was embarrassed for her and her big grown-up tantrum. So much so that I scooted everyone down and around and found her a seat. But I digress.) All I had to do was cut the cake after the party and make sure everyone went home with the right adult.

The flip side to this is that now that we are home tonight decorating our first "real" tree ever (our old tree had a broken base and so many broken lights that we decided to try this out). We have Rudolph-themed ornaments with the Rudolph special playing on TV. And Natalie wants no part in it whatsoever. She is upstairs slamming her door back and forth because her older cousin decided not to come over and because this is the first Christmas that she doesn't believe in Santa anymore and she just doesn't see the point. Which is too bad for her because I still love this show and I will ALWAYS believe in Santa, even though I am quite the Santa's helper each Christmas Eve. I am sad because I still remember so clearly the day all those Rudolph ornaments came in the mail and how my precious little firstborn squealed in delight at the sight of them as she helped me pull them out of the box. She couldn't have been more than a year old back then. And now, she hates everything and everyone including that STOOPID Rudolph show and Mom's STOOPID stuffed animal ornaments.

And that makes me want to cry. Sometimes, I wish those so-called experts on big families were right. One of the things they say is that moms like me keep having babies because we lose interest in our children as they grow older. Of course, it isn't true; but my life would be much easier now if it were. I knew the adolescent years wouldn't be easy, but I didn't know how much every eye roll and door slam would feel like a knife in my heart. At least she had a very good birthday party this afternoon and she usually still likes me. Sigh.

Half & Half

2009-12-11T21:21:00.000-06:00

Things that are annoying me tonight:

This really cold weather
A dryer that still doesn't work the way it should (we replaced the heating element successfully, but now it needs a new thermostat too). Can I just tell you how much it stinks to have backed-up laundry with 5 kids?
Being busy every night until Christmas (or so it seems)
Whiny children
Crowds at Wal-Mart
A broken Christmas tree
How cold and drafty this house gets in the winter

Things that are making me happy:

Friday night=Pizza night
Grocery shopping 95% done at a store OTHER than Wal-Mart
Most of my Christmas shopping is done
Alexis' baby excitement over Christmas lights and decorations (even if they are still in boxes all over the living room waiting for a place to be hung)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on Blu-ray
My kids' choir concerts last Tues. and Thurs.
A visit from an old friend
My electric blanket

I Know It's Old News, But I Can't Resist

2009-12-07T17:49:00.003-06:00

When OU lost to BYU in the opening game of our season, I knew there would be someone the next day at church who would inevitably point out that the Sooners lost not because they were outplayed, but simply because not every OU player was a good, clean cut returned missionary like the players on the BYU team. I knew this statement would make my hair stand on end for many reasons. Among these were the following:

I'm almost positive that not every single BYU football player is LDS because I know for sure that not all of the students are. Why you would want to go there if you weren't LDS, I'm not sure. But people do. (I tried to verify this with a Google Search, but only found chat board speculation similar to mine.)
Even IF all the players were LDS, not all LDS men serve missions. Notably, Steve Young didn't, though I hate to single him out like that when I have such respect for his wife. However, it's an effective example.
No one is perfect be they LDS, returned missionary, Methodist, Atheist, or Buddhist, NO ONE.
Even if you are as close to perfect as humanly possible, God is not going to hand you things on a silver platter. I hate it when I hear church teachers telling the youth that something didn't work out for them because they weren't "being good enough." We are not exempt from trials and our trials aren't predicated on our righteousness. To teach our youth that if they behave that they won't have problems is to shake their faith to its core when they do their best and bad things happen. I'd like to say that we have stopped doing this as a church, but I still hear it all too often. (Good luck to anyone who tries to teach it to MY children, though.)
And finally, GOD DOESN'T FAVOR FOOTBALL TEAMS. He leaves that to us for our recreation.

And of course, someone did say it in church. Several others said it on Facebook. People unfriended me on Facebook over my reaction to such a ridiculous claim. While I have enjoyed visits to Salt Lake City and Provo through the years and certainly appreciate the heritage that comes from there, I do not understand the hero-worship some of our members here in Oklahoma ascribe to all things that come from the state of Utah; particularly the BYU Cougars. To them I say this: When I was baptized, I convenanted to follow the example of Jesus Christ, to mourn with those that mourn, to comfort those who need comfort, and to obey the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity. Not once throughout the missionary lessons or during my baptismal service did I agree to forsake my Sooners and root solely for BYU. (And that's good because it just might have been a deal-breaker.) And I also say that while I don't think winning is predicated on personal righteousness, I'm pretty sure I've never heard Sam Bradford say anything like this about ANY opponent.

I'm glad he apologized, he absolutely needed to regardless of how his family was treated a full year before he made those statements. I will admit seeing that gave me a great deal of smug satisfaction until I thought about how I would like to be judged by millions for something I said in the heat of the moment, and I didn't like that very much at all. Would anyone? Still, I hope everyone who took such glee in pointing out the Sooner's moral inferiority to the good ol' Y made a mental note to keep their judgemental mouths shut from now on. And, on that note, I would like to thank Sam Bradford for his awesome run at OU and for always being such a class act when it would be so easy, so allowable, and so human of him not to be. And I also admit that I can't say that about everyone to have ever played for OU. The point of this post wasn't to paint either university or its players as "the good guys" and "the bad guys," it was simply to say in light of recent events I hope more people of my faith understand how dangerous it is to talk about how much more righteous and "worthy of victory" the BYU football team is. Or how much more righteous Latter Day Saints are when compared to other Christians for that matter. In fact, I think we should really cease and desist with comparisons completely because you can find the class acts, the bad sports, and the rule-breakers on ALL sides. It's dangerous to put ourselves or those that we think represent us on such high pedestals when all of us are human and therefore very prone to falling off of them. Let's forgive each other our trespasses and leave the Pharisees' attitude in the New Testament where it belongs, shall we? I'll try if you will...

A Lovely Night (Name that Musical!)

2009-12-06T16:41:00.000-06:00

So...about 20 years ago, a letter was read during one of our regularly scheduled Rainbow meetings. The leaders who wrote it were excited to announce The First Annual Tri-Order Christmas Dance at the Scottish Rite Temple in Guthrie. Needless to say, we were all very excited to go. I even (vaguely) remember that first one. Lanie and I bought hairnets for our up-do's at Claire's, Mom Vickie bought some fabric and sewed Lanie's dress in the space of an afternoon (it was the strapless turquoise and black one-not the 'scandalous' red one of a few years later), my jerk boyfriend proposed, it snowed on the drive home, and Dad Joe entertained us by spinning the car in the lodge parking lot several times before driving me home. I think he was trying to kill me for accepting the proposal. I think the coolest thing about my recollections of that weekend is that I remembered the hairnets (early Christmas present from Lanie to me), the dress, the snow, and the parking lot spinning first; and only on the drive up to the dance last night did I recall the proposal. If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know why the wedding never happened. Aside from the whole we were WAY TOO YOUNG thing. I'm just glad (and more than a little amused) that I only remembered it as an afterthought. My other afterthought is that I was wearing a pastel pink formal that I borrowed from Lanie that night. It was December and I was in spring time pastels?! What was I thinking?

This year, it was decided that those of us who remember that first dance would reunite in Guthrie for the 20th anniversary! We spread the word, we made a Facebook page, we scheduled around our busy lives, made plans, bought dresses (in appropriate winter colors, I might add-mine was blue and silver), and got very excited about the whole thing. Then I got sick. After my first dressing room zip-up sigh over THE perfect dress in many years...I couldn't imagine not going, not wearing it, and not seeing everyone again. I promised myself that if I could breathe at all on Saturday, I would go and just 'take it easy.' I rested all day Friday. I breathed clearly all day Saturday. Needless to say...I went last night and I'm so glad that I did. I didn't have my camera, so pics will have to wait until someone else posts some, but here are the night's highlights:

Upon seeing me in my dress, my son said "No offense, but in THAT dress you don't look like ANYONE'S mother." (He's my favorite.)
That little thrill of anticipation that I didn't expect to have when Dave dropped me off at the front of the Scottish Rite building and I started walking up the stairs. If you've ever stood at the bottom of those massive steps, you know what I'm talking about-you really do feel like Cinderella going to the ball. I'm glad I haven't outgrown that feeling. I guess this means I never will?
Finding Wendy, her sister Kelly, Lanie, and Chris at the top of those stairs and fussing over our pretty dresses. Again, after all those years and all those dresses, who knew they could still make us so happy?
Dancing like the words "take it easy" were never an option. One of our old friends is now the regular DJ for these youth dances and even though the dance was still really for the young'uns, he was good to us. (Poison, Bon Jovi, and of course; "The Time Warp.")
Mom Linda leaving the kitchen (gasp!) seeing the four of us dancing like crazy right in front of the speakers, rolling her eyes slightly and smiling as if to say "some things never change" and returning to her very important punch-making and dish-washing duties. And indeed, between our dancing and her kitchen duties, some things just don't change.
Funny comments during picture-taking like "if I jump NOW things might fall out," "Of course this is my hair color, I paid for it," and "Grey hair? Try NO hair!"
The looks on the faces of many of the girls at those "old ladies" dancing with their shoes off right at the front and center of the dance floor. I wanted to say "What are you staring at? This could be you all one day. But only if you are very, very lucky!"
I am very, very lucky.

Next year...Natalie will be there. As a Rainbow Girl. I'll save her a spot by the speaker.

At the Homestead Today

2009-12-05T14:08:00.000-06:00

I'm finally to the point in my cold/crud/whatever that I can breathe *almost* clearly. Dave thought a nasal spray might eliminate the *almost* so we shopped around until we found one that was safe for nursing moms and brought it home yesterday. This morning when I opened it, I realized that I've never in my life shot anything up my nose on purpose. (Sorry to those of you who were really hoping to read about my unfortunate drug habit so you could report back yet more proof that I'm "an inappropriate person" to set an example for the stake's Young Women. So far all you seem to have on me is that I think the number "69" is funny. And I still do. Not that I ever shared this bit of humor with any of the the Young Women. But I Digress...) So, I stood there looking at the bottle of nasal spray feeling clueless until my kids who have all had the nasal version of the flu shot the past two years all came over and started coaching me on the best way to do it. If you haven't ever found yourself surrounded by four kids cheering you on and giving you advice on how to properly shoot something up your nose, you are missing out on a very funny experience. (Yes, I survived it and yes, it helped.)
I have reached that point in my post-partum journey that all that lovely, thick pregnancy hair has started to fall out. It's favorite place to do this is in the shower. And when it does, there is always a clump of hair that runs with the water down the back of my leg. Just so you know, that feels pretty similar to what it feels like to find a wolf spider on your leg in the shower. I'm not a big fan of either. But I do take really fast showers now.

Because No One Else is Going to Say it To Me

2009-12-04T10:38:00.000-06:00

Dear Me,

I'm sorry that after a full week you are still suffering from some kind of respiratory crud that makes your throat hurt and your head throb. I'm sorry that you can't take any meds that alleviate the symptoms because you are nursing. I'm sorry your husband is only concerned enough to be annoyed that "you aren't better YET?!" because I know getting sick was a high priority on the to-do list that any mother of 5 might have in the month of December. What with three choir concerts for three different kids, a 12th birthday, and a little thing called Christmas looming; I'm sure not being able to breathe clearly was just the added detail you were hoping for to get through this month and how dare DH not understand that?

I'm sorry that with your lack of fever and or/infection that would be treatable by antibiotics, you have absolutely no comprehension of what it is that you might actually have or how long it will ultimately last. I'm sorry you are far more worried about giving it to your 4 month-old baby than any other human you might come into contact with, and that you might just be a little more worried/paranoid about that than most people after the "small cold" your older two children had one week in 2002 turned into full-blown RSV and pneumonia for their 5 week-old baby sister resulting in a 5-day hospital stay and lifelong asthma for her. (Caroline-for those of you who know the kids)

And finally, I'm sorry that this means that you may not be able to go to the 20th anniversary Rainbow/DeMolay/Job's Daughter Christmas dance in Guthrie. You've only been looking forward to it since July, spent more money than you should have on a cute dress to wear to it, and made plans for a nice weekend getaway with your husband (and nursing baby) surrounding it.

And while I'm on the subject, I'm sorry that your dryer is still broken and that your heater can't seem to get the house above 65 degrees today. It does indeed suck to be you today and you should take it easy and rest as much as you can in between having to get up at 6 a.m. to get everyone to school, and leaving the house again at 2:15 to get everyone picked up and deposited at various after-school activities 4 out of 5 days in the school week. And people wonder why you aren't well yet?

/RANT. I feel better now. Well...relatively. ;)

Wordless Wednesday: Concentration

2009-12-02T16:49:00.001-06:00

One Minute Writer: December

2009-12-01T21:54:00.000-06:00

I am excited to see some signs of life in my Comment section again and want to keep that momentum. Sadly, I'm lacking in inspiration and time. Then I remembered a blog that my friend Tracy links to called One Minute Writer. Today's topic is the month of December and my plan to make December 2009 what I want it to be. I have one minute to write about this and fortunately my iPhone came with a stopwatch app. So here goes:

"I don't know what my sister and I were thinking having babies in December. My plan for this one is to make sure my oldest daughter has a good birthday and that I don't go broke buying gifts, but don't turn Christmas into a big cheap disappointment either. I'm glad I saved some $$ for this."

That was fun. I may have to try that again sometime. If you would like to play along, I linked to the One Minute Writer in the preceding paragraph. Or you can just tell me what your plans are in the Comment section. Have I mentioned it's good to see those again?

Music Monday: For Katrina

2009-11-30T11:39:00.006-06:00

Recently one of my favorite author bloggers mentioned to me on Facebook that she didn't know who Jimmy Fallon was. This likely reflects that she has more refined taste in entertainment than I do. Still...it made my choice for today's featured video much easier. (Psst Katrina, he's the one playing the keyboard.)

SNL Christmas Song

Movies & TV
SPIKE.com

Week In Review

2009-11-29T19:23:00.001-06:00

Reading

A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family by Mary Ostyn-

This was written by a very popular blogger who is also a mother of ten. I splurged when ordering family Christmas presents from Amazon.com and added this for myself. I felt a little guilty for spending on me when there are gifts to buy, but let's face it: no one was going to buy it for me, and it isn't at our local library. I haven't finished reading it yet, but I already know that I love this book. It isn't so much a 'how to' as it is a 'you already are,' but the affirmation is nice. I don't have the book handy at the moment, but there is a good quote in there about not letting the greeter at Wal-Mart's opinion on your family size determine your own feelings about it. And I can definitely agree with that. I also wonder if she's ever shopped at our Wal-Mart. Anyway, her book is really helping me embrace the truth that I am, indeed, a mother of many and I recommend it to anyone with three kids or more.

Watching

I would be embarrassed to own up to the number of shows sitting on my DVR right now, so I won't. I did manage the last 30 minutes of the last Jon and Kate Plus 8 and the latest Duggar adventures. I feel sad for Jon, no really, I do. He is throwing away happiness with both hands (as they said in Gone With the Wind) and he doesn't even realize it. I got teary-eyed when I heard Kate talk about the driver's seat. And while being on the show may factor in, I think Jon has a lot of nerve suggesting ALL of his kids' behaviors are the fault of the show. I'm sure they have nothing to do with Dad moving out, living the swinging bachelor life in NYC, hooking up with a 22 year-old, AND saying he despises their mother on national TV.

On a slightly related note, I am more of a Kate than a Michelle Duggar when it comes to dealing with my husband. And yet...as much as I hate the idea of being absolutely submissive to one's spouse, she seems really happy and so does her husband. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. (Amusingly, I typed this just as my husband just came in and informed me that were out of a kitchen staple that should still be in the refrigerator had someone not used it all up without permission. Oh well...)

I also caught this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Someday, I will see it live. Until then, I would just like to thank its organizers for including the Muppets, Jimmy Fallon, AND Cyndi Lauper all in one show. And now that I've seen the parade, the holidays can begin...

At the Movies

New Moon-

Even the opening credits let me know that this was a better quality film than the first one. I didn't have to laugh at the cheesiness NEAR as much this time, nor did I cringe in embarrassment for the actors at all. I definitely like the series better with more Jacob and less Edward. There was one change to the book that I could have lived without, but two other changes that I definitely thought worked better for the storyline. I took Natalie with me this time. She is insistent on reading Eclipse now, and given the way that she mocked Bella and how she gets when Edward is around; I just might have to let her do it. Natalie doesn't like to see movies without reading to book first though, and since the movie doesn't come out until June, I still have more time to think about it. My worry has always been that she will think an Edward/Bella lovefest is THE relationship standard because I did at her age even without those books to guide me and it made for a very unpleasant experience for me the first time I had a serious boyfriend. (Then again, my generation read Flowers in the Attic, so who am I to worry about what's in the Twilight books?) But while Natalie looks like me, it's becoming very clear that her thinking is very different from mine. And if she is able to see the books as nothing more than an enjoyable diversion (like her mom does), then I will let her move forward in the series. I guess...I mean, a human girl who can't have sex with her vampire boyfriend does seem a lot less harmful than all the incest and other ickiness my girlfriends and I absorbed from the V.C. Andrew's books when we were her age, right?

Out and About

How is it that I keep going to Tulsa to see family and keep missing out on a quick trip to Whole Foods Market? Annoying! I know I won't love the place as much as Trader Joe's, but it's my only option outside of Albuquerque, Santa Fe, or St. Louis. We do have an organic grocery store here in town, but it is very small and prices its items accordingly. I want to see a bigger store with (supposedly) more competitive prices.

Otherwise all was well with both families and it was nice to visit both the Gregg and Lawson sides this year. Dave's favorite aunt, her granddaughter (a cousin) and his sister and her family were all here. My father-in-law even put up a picture of my kids in honor of the occasion. (Can I tell you how much it hurts to go over there and not see one? It was a nice change.) Here's hoping it stays up when Aunt P goes back to Florida at the end of the week.

So basically, good food, lots of family, a day with Natalie and my friends, and no morning routine for three days last week make me a very happy mom who has to get back into her routine tomorrow. I hope everyone else had as good a week as I did!

Repeating Myself One More Time

2009-11-28T22:32:00.000-06:00

I've already posted this on Facebook and Twitter, but I can't say it any better than this even without the 140 character limit:

"Dear Sooners,

Thank you for the early Christmas present!

Love,

An All-Weather Fan"

And with that, I will add an "Amen!" and one last "Boomer Sooner!"

My 'Happy' List

2009-11-26T08:55:00.002-06:00

One of my earliest mission companions used to make a daily list of things that made her happy. Today seems like a good day for a 'happy' list here too:

Five beautiful children and the feeling that being their mother is what I was born to do.
Friends I've had since high school who love me for who I am and often in spite of it. Love you guys!
The handful great women I've befriended since high school. Lately, I've come to realize that who I really am doesn't come across very well in person and sometimes not even when I write; as I get older I find that I don't really need other people's favorable opinions to validate me-and yet your love and respect certainly mean the world. Thank you.
Two cars, no payments
A house that doesn't make me want to cringe when I pull into the driveway. Keeping it that way is a challenge, but I'm taking it one day at a time.
My sisters and their children and any time I get to see any of them
Three living grandparents who all live within a 2-hour drive from us.
Dave's aunt visiting from Florida
At this very moment, John Stamos singing "Put On a Happy Face"
THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING PARADE (I have loved it since childhood and don't feel like it OK to celebrate Christmas until Santa's sleigh has arrived in Herald Square.)
The perfect bite of turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce (hasn't happened yet today, but it will!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Post Completely Unrelated to Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T15:36:00.000-06:00

I may be the last person with Internet access to have discovered this video, but I finally saw it today and it made me very happy:

And there is a turkey in it for a second or two, so that makes it appropriate, right?

No Worries

2009-11-24T22:41:00.000-06:00

I'm not dead, I'm not upset, I'm not depressed, I am busy, but truthfully I'm not even all that overwhelmed by life with 5 kids anymore. I just can't think of anything good to write about lately. I'll get back to you when I do. Come on...did you really want to read someone else's 'thankful list' right now? That's what I thought. And with that, I'm off to bed an hour earlier than normal even though no one has to get up early tomorrow. Because that's just the way I roll...

Hmm...

2009-11-17T22:29:00.000-06:00

While I now have the technological capability to write and post from my iPhone, I still don't have enough time. Have they come up with an App for that just yet? And, if they have, make sure it just pauses time. Actual time travel might get me in way too much trouble. ;)

iBlogging?

2009-11-16T01:42:00.001-06:00

Just testing to see if I really can post a blog from my phone.

"I have such interesting and articulate children!"*

2009-11-13T23:57:00.000-06:00

Parent/Teacher conferences were yesterday and today. The boy is having his best year ever. That's been a long time coming, so I'm very happy. Everyone else is doing as expected-which is to say, very well. I'm a little annoyed that Natalie's "B" in Math was an 89.3% and caused by an incomplete assignment. I'm more annoyed that when I pointed this out to her she shrugged and said "As long as I'm passing, I don't care." She would have had a 4.0 otherwise, but was completely unconcerned when I pointed that out too. How exactly am I supposed to respond to that without looking like one of those moms who pushes her kids too hard? I'm still working on it...

*Can you name that show? I often picture the scene that quote came from when my kids are feeling particularly boisterous at the dinner table. HINT: That mom has 5 kids too, but they are all a bit older than mine or were, I guess. The show ended in 2002.

The Kind of Mother I Am

2009-11-11T18:35:00.003-06:00

After almost 12 years and 5 children, I've discovered that becoming a mother is a continual, evolving process and I doubt that there will ever be an end to it. I remember that when Natalie was a baby I had a lot of practice with the mechanics of child care as a former babysitter and "favorite aunt," so I didn't worry nearly as much about what I should do with the baby (once we got past the colicky stage) as I worried about how I should act now that I was someone's mother. Some mothers had strong opinions on how you should feed your babies. On the advice of a friend, I tried nursing. I became an advocate of nursing. I became so oversold on the idea that nursing exclusively was "what good moms did" that when my daughter's weight began to fall off the charts; I waited too long to introduce supplemental formula and it was quite some time before she regained enough weight to be considered "normal." I'm still a big believer that "breast is best," but when my son's weight dipped about three years later, I lost no time making sure he would take a bottle or two per day. The lesson: good moms do what works best for their babies.

Just before Natalie's first birthday, Comedy Central debuted a certain cult classic film popularly shown at Midnight on Fridays throughout the '70's and 80's for the first time on a broadcast cable channel instead of a premium movie channel. I know people have a variety of opinions on the questionable nature of this particular movie that shall not be named and I respect those, but for me it was always about the fun of going to the show with my friends to throw things at the screen, light and wave your lighters, and poke fun at some of the worst filmmaking of all time. I saw it on one day as baby Natalie napped in her playpen and started excitedly playing along as I used to in theatres. I was having a great time until it hit me that "good moms do NOT like things that are inappropriate," and I sadly changed the channel. For years I avoided anything I used to consider "fun" that now seemed irreverant including any home viewings of the aforementioned film and I even avoided the annual Halloween showing of it at Sooner Theatre though I was very aware that I was missing it each and every year. Last year, my friends and I decided to reclaim our youth and go. I guess once you reach a certain age or a certain number of kids, you just know you are a decent mom regardless of your twisted sense of entertainment. And I'm glad I finally got there. I had so much fun last year that we were back again this year. Again, I acknowledge that the subject matter of that certain cult classic film is inappropriate for my kids and certainly falls outside the bounds of what most of my fellow church members would enjoy; but I do and I no longer believe that doing so makes me less of a mother than others with more "refined" taste in music and film. It is my once a year Halloween departure from what is 'normal' for me. And I think that's the point of Halloween in the first place. The lesson: good moms need to let their hair down and have fun every once in awhile.

A few years ago, I finally broke down and switched my voting affiliation from Republican to Independent. My reasons for registering Republican back in the day were that my family is mostly Republican and I am a Christian. Over time, it became clear that I didn't really fit with the party platform, but I stuck with it because I wasn't a good fit with the Democrat platform either and good Christian moms are ALL Republicans, or so I thought at the time. After becoming increasingly annoyed with people's assumptions of which candidates I supported and what my stances on the issues were that I switched my registration. The lesson: good Christian moms vote their conscience regardless of the political affiliation of the candidate or the issue on the ballot.

And most recently, I started using a clothesline, baking more from scratch, and using cloth diapers. It sounds silly, but I avoided these things in the past, not because they didn't interest me; but because they seemed to be the pursuits of people who are more devoted to their role as a homemaker than I am or for those who are more attuned to going green and saving the planet. I certainly do believe in God and I certainly want to do what I can to protect the earth, but I'm not incredibly zealous in either area either. I believed that those pursuits were best left to people who were better at being devoted to a higher cause than I am. And then I realized that there is no criteria for who can and can't use a clothesline, try something new and debated (cloth.v. disposeables has been around since I was pregnant with Natalie-for the record, I use both), or try to save more money around the house. The lesson: good moms don't need to limit their pursuits because they don't fit the stereotype of whatever that pursuit may be. In other words, it's OK to find good in a lot of different lifestyles and incorporate them into your own.

In the end I have learned that good moms do what works out well for them and their children and the only rules (aside from obviously making sure those things aren't damaging to anyone) are the ones we impose upon ourselves. Can you believe it took me almost 40 years to figure this out? Neither can I.

Things I Wish That I Had Written

2009-11-10T08:59:00.002-06:00

As many of you know, I've been on the receiving end of some "mean girl" treatment at church. (How nice of them to make me feel young again by taking me back to the 7th grade. And here I was fearing that 38th birthday.) But this is certainly not the first time I've dealt with such foolishness. When I was a new member, I once made the mistake of quoting the movie When Harry Met Sally at the Institute building. This prompted a sharp, (feigned), inhalation of shock from one of the other girls (the one who moved here from Seattle and was gone when I got back from my mission-for those of you who want to know) because didn't I know that that was a RATED "R" movie?! Well, obviously I didn't or I wouldn't have been so stupid as to make waves by quoting from it when I had only been a member of the church for about 6 months. In that moment, I remember how badly I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. Or at least leave the Institute building and never come back. But fortunately, there were a few other people there to soften the blow by admitting that they too had seen the movie and was she sure that was its rating? While I never bothered to check, I'm sure it probably is rated 'R' because I suspect this particular gal used to sit around memorizing lists of rated 'R' movies so she could loudly pass judgement on anyone in her presence who mentioned one in passing. And incidentally, if the worst things my daughters do as teenagers is watch When Harry Met Sally, I'll be one happy mom.

In my church, as I'm sure is the case in most other churches too, there is both the capacity for great love and tolerance amongst ourselves and then there is also great capacity for situations like the one I described above and the one I've dealt with recently. People like my loud gasping 'friend' really annoy me (And she in particular because as a recently returned missionary, she definitely knew better than to treat a new convert like that. FYI: I think I will stop feeling like a new convert when I believe that I really and truly fit in at church, so basically never). Because that attitude of judgement, even when applied to situations that might actually call for strong admonishment, never accomplishes the desired result. As I find myself telling my kids repeatedly, when you treat someone badly "to teach them a lesson" the only lesson they really learn is that you aren't very nice and perhaps they shouldn't trust you. Not that there aren't occasions with our friends and family when some kind of intervention on our parts isn't warranted, but judgemental words and actions will never have the same effect as love and acceptance do. While it may be trite, there is a lot of truth to the statement: People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

I could write on and on about this, but instead I want you all to read someone else's thoughts on the subject. Apparently, I am not the only person bothered by people and situations like this. Natasha (one of my all-time favorite bloggers) wrote something much better than I ever could and I only hope "Carrie" and "Angie" and all of our other 'gasping in shock' friends get as much from reading her post as I did, though I sadly doubt that they will. You can find it here. Whether you go to our church, another church, or no church at all; it's very good commentary and I wish I had written it myself. And with that, I'm off to read it again and start my day.

It's Really Not All That Bad

2009-11-08T22:01:00.000-06:00

I left some comments on other blogs today which prompted a realization that they would probably come over here and read my most recent entries...and then move away from me and my blog as quietly and quickly as they could because I am so whiny lately. So, I just thought it was worth noting that this weekend was good.

The kids did their annual program at church, and since four out of my five participate in it; it always puts me in a good mood.
I got really brave and used my cloth diapers at my grandmother's last night and again at church today and they worked just fine! (I've been using disposables for outings until I get more used to cloth. I guess I am used to them now.)
I am more than halfway finished with an adorable baby tutu for Alexis. Her "my first Thanksgiving" onesie and matching BabyLegs didn't seem girly enough by themselves, so I'm adding a little feminine touch. She will likely hate it, but dang will she look cute for the 5 minutes that she wears it for the picture. :) I am making it quite inexpensively out of an adult headband and a roll of tulle. All I need now is a little more tulle when Hobby Lobby opens tomorrow and some cute buttons. I have very little spare time, and if this weren't as quick and easy as it is; I wouldn't be so happy about making it.
OU lost yesterday, but we still had a great time being together at my grandmother's house for the watch party. We always do win or lose, and with this season...that's definitely a good thing.
There may be one person at church who thinks little enough of me to badmouth my family, but that is just ONE person in the light of many others who don't feel that way. (And I wouldn't mention that ugliness so much except that at least one of the not-so-nice ladies is not-so-secretly lurking here and I want them to know that they aren't getting away with anything lurking-wise, bad-mouthing-wise, OR otherwise... Petty on my part perhaps, but also kinda fun.)
I managed to keep a household routine in place each and every day last week even with a crazy life, tons of errands to run, and a small baby in the house. FlyLady was right, lists really do work. Even if what is working for me now isn't quite what she suggests.
I found an H1N1 clinic with no line on Friday. I will breathe easier when everyone here has had the vaccine, but for now at least I have had it. (It would be the presence of the aforemention small baby plus the 7 year-old with asthma in the house that has me so paranoid.) Ironically, after getting H1N1 with no wait, I can't find a regular flu shot to save my life.

Sorry this isn't cuter and funnier, but I did want everyone to know that not everything (or even much of anything) in my life is nearly as gloomy as my last entry sounds. I think the hardest thing for me about being an adult has been finding out that people I really want to like are aren't really who they portray themselves to be and that, for that reason, I just can't like them. I know it's part of being an adult, but it may be my least favorite thing about it. It always gets to me, but I will try not to let it interfere as much with my blogging as it has done in the last few weeks. In the meantime, just know that I still get out of bed every morning, take the kids to school and dress myself in something cute each day, smile and laugh, find joy in my children, and try to keep moving forward. I will be fine.