The Trip Pt. 10-Around the World in 80 Minutes (times three-but that doesn't sound as good)

Since the girls are at that age where they love to eat and I personally haven't outgrown that age yet, I introduced them to a popular EPCOT pastime, 'snackin' around the world.' There are several countries represented in pavilions along the World Showcase. They are typically made up of several shops, usually both a fancy and a sit-down restaurant, and either a theatre or ride-type venue that allegedly give us an idea of life in that particular country. I don't know about that, but it is a lot of fun to go from place to place shopping, snacking, and looking around at everything. Our first stop was Mexico where, before entering the pavilion, we detoured to the snack area which rests on an artificial lagoon where the fireworks display happens later in the evening. We pulled out our water bottles and enjoyed nachos and churros. When you split that four ways, it doesn't go far, but that was part of the plan. The girls enjoyed the waterfront birds, but did remember not to feed them. It was already getting warm, but wasn't unbearably hot just yet. Still, that air conditioning felt good when we walked through the front doors of "Mexico."

The Mexico pavilion is one of my favorites. It looks like a marketplace on the inside and that particular market has lots of inexpensive souvenirs for the girls to chose from. Quite different from the usual Disney fare. Natalie chose a miniature pinata and my nieces chose flags. We took the brief boat ride which is a lot like "It's a Small World" if it were just about Mexico. I usually skip this one, but we had at least two dedicated days to spend at EPCOT and there is never a line for this, so why not? After the boat ride, Natalie discovered the passport station. You can buy a Disney passport for $10 which I have done in the past, or you can get a mask for free and have it stamped as you go from country to country. Natalie already has a passport and the older girls weren't interested, so we went with the free mask. We had to wait while Natalie meticulously decorated it. I passed the time by watching the kids and parents interact. All I can say is "Wow! There are some spoiled kids in this country of ours." I realize my daughter was on her second trip to WDW in less than a year and that maybe I have no room to point fingers, but I had nothing on some of these parents I saw. Yikes.

Once Natalie had her mask detailed and stamped, we were off to Norway. Natalie showed the girls where she had eaten breakfast with the princesses on the last trip as I saw some parents trying to get in there that same day for lunch. Umm...good luck with that! I posed the girls for a picture by the big troll in the gift shop when some family made my day by asking if I wanted to be in the picture too. I sure did! Then, they complimented me on how much all my daughters looked like me. I just smiled and said 'thanks.' Then, I spent the rest of the day trying to explain to Natalie that I did not lie to the nice lady, I just didn't feel like going into details she wasn't interested in anyway. Kids! After the picture, Lady Capulet bought some chocolate for us to share while Natalie got her next stamp. Then, we were off the the bakery for some kringle and some drinks. Natalie lost enthusiasm quickly when she saw raisins in it and went to play on the big Norwegian ship playground. The other girls took off to join her leaving me to gather their stuff and clean up the table. After a few minutes, I convinced them they wanted to ride Maelstrom. They all complained that it wasn't enough of a thrill ride and it didn't get them wet. Wah! I thought it was big fun. Oh well, onward to China.

I had hoped Mulan would be out since she is Lady Capulet's favorite Disney princess, but we were out of luck. I took them in to see the film and all they did was complain about the lack of seating in the theater (it is shown in 360 round) They would have hated the 1986 World's Fair in Victoria BC, it had a lot of films like that and my cousin and I didn't complain. It's sad when you hearken back to 1986 as "the good old days" isn't it? Anyway, after the film we went through a shop full of silk, China, and lots of other things none of us could afford, then waited in a very slow line for Natalie stamp. Mostly because the kids get their names written out on their masks in Chinese letters and it takes more time than a simple stamp. Natalie felt it was worth the wait, so I indulged her. After an egg roll from the take-out window, Lady Capulet forgave me for it. (she was beginning to get a little grumpy)

Our next stop was a quick one to the Outback which breaks up the long walk from China to Germany. To put everyone in a better mood, we had frozen lemonades and fresh fruit which Disney actually sells in various locations. I was debating taking my grouchy little gaggle back to the hotel if they didn't cheer up, but the cold beverages seemed to do the trick, so we continued on to Germany. It was here that we really missed their mom. She is obsessed with all things German. We tried to call her and say "Ha! Ha! We're here and you aren't!" but we didn't get an answer. That's probably a good thing. We looked at the incredible German model train display and browsed at more authentic German items we didn't need. I was tempted by the Christmas shop, but since this was our budget trip, I talked myself out of any new ornaments, no matter how cute.

We made our way over to Italy. As most of you know, I once lived there and I still understand the language fluently even if my speaking skills are a bit rusty as I discovered on our previous trip. Neither the Germany or Italy pavilion have a ride or film on the premises (though I'm told the German restaurant does a really fun polka show), but gondolas tied up along the lagoon indicate that rides were at least suggested when developing the Italian pavilion. Note to Disney: Even though I've been to Venice twice, I would still stand in line for those boats. Just so ya know...
Anyway, we did window shopping and I bought Natalie a Figment dressed as a gondolier pin. I found the pressed coin machine and got Queenie started on a collection of her own while I added to mine. The salesgirl behind the counter seemed a little sad, so I broke into my garbled Italian to see if I could make her smile while Natalie worked on her mask and the girls browsed the candy shop. (they knew we were getting gelato and didn't bug me for any other sweets) As it turns out, she was a recent arrival and while the Florida heat didn't bother her, the American food did (she has a point!) and she was still a little homesick. She seemed glad I spoke a little Italian, even if it isn't very good anymore. Feeling good about my moderate success with it, I took the girls to the gelato stand and spoke some more with the salesgirl there. All three girls looked at me in amazement even though they all know I once lived in Italy. It was funny. The gelato was excellent, but even in its small, pre-measured cup none of us could finish it. One of my slight beefs with my BIL's style of parenting is that apparently he gets mad when the girls don't clean their plates because the girls practically cringed any time they asked me if they could throw away unfinished food. I will grant you that food at Disney is overpriced and I certainly don't want to see them waste it, but this was good, authentic Italian gelato, and even I had eaten enough before it was gone. I see no point in anyone stuffing their faces until they are sick to their stomach just "to get their money's worth." So, we tossed the gelato cups guilt-free and watched an Italian street performer do some juggling before we went on to Japan.

By Japan, it was really getting hot outside, feet were getting tired, and tempers were getting short again. I knew our time at EPCOT was coming to a close. We saw the Japanese drummers, but again missed Miyuki the candy lady. Will I ever see her on a trip? As many times as we've been to WDW, I've never seen her. Oh well. She wasn't performing for another two hours and there was no way we would last that long. The girls did want to go see Morocco, so we decided that would be our last showcase stop. The girls played drums with some of the cast members, Lady Capulet found some pretty and inexpensive earrings, and we got lost twice looking for the bathrooms which we finally found in the opposite direction of where we were looking. As we exited the restrooms, we saw the boat that transports you across the lagoon docking right in front of us, so we saved ourselves some legwork and road the boat back to Future World. After no one else offered her a seat, I gave mine to a pregnant woman and kept an eye on the girls from the aisle. She said people hadn't given up seats for her on the boats, buses, or monorail very much her whole trip. That's just not right.

Once we arrived at Future World, I made the mistake of taking a path that went close enough to the Imagination Pavilion for Natalie to remember that Journey into Imagination with Figment was there and she wanted to ride it. Lady Capulet wanted to go back to the hotel-NOW! I knew Figment wouldn't have a line (it's cute, but nothing earth-shattering) and I knew Queenie would like it too. I asked Lady Capulet nicely if she would mind a quick detour. Had she said no equally as nicely, we would have left. But, she TOLD me "No" and to "come on right now." Umm...I don't think so. So, we rode Journey into Imagination and Lady Capulet pouted throughout the ride and on the walk from there to the car. Oh well. By the time we got back to the hotel, the continuing saga of Revenge of the Sith on CD and the car air-conditioning had improved all of our moods considerably, but I did make a mental note not to let our park time exceed six hours if I could help it.

We ended our day with some sandwiches and other snacks we stocked in our little refrigerator and a dip in the closest pool. (there were several scattered throughout the area) Later, I did some laundry even though being reunited with our suitcase upon arrival at the hotel had increased Natalie's wardrobe and mine by several days. Needless to say, I had no problems getting anyone to bed that night.

Tomorrow...Animal Kingdom

The Trip Pt. 9-Soarin' At EPCOT

As the more Disney-conscious among you know, this is Disneyland's 50th anniversary, but the celebration dubbed "The Happiest Celebration on Earth" is ongoing at all the Disney themeparks. For their part in the festivities, WDW has recently debuted two new shows and opened their latest EPCOT ride attraction, Soarin'. I have been dying to ride this since it California Adventure opened a few years ago, and was very happy the ride now exists in both parks.

Our first morning began with the same Stitch and Mickey wake-up call we experienced back in November. I told the girls, "You heard Stitch, GET MOVING!" To my surprise, they did. For the first time in any of my visits to a Disney theme park, we got there before the turnstiles opened. I think we were about 6th in line. This is always what I aspire to do when we go-it's what the guidebooks unanimously recommend, but Dave thinks it's an affront to God and man to get up early on vacation and the more kids we have, the harder it is for me to get them all up and dressed in time by myself. This trip, with three older kids just as excited as I was, it was no problem. After about five minutes of waiting for the parks to open, Lady Capulet was beginning to get bored and asked why I had gotten us there so early. I told her to look behind us. When she saw the masses, she said we should be sure and get to all the other parks early too. Finally, a convert in the family! Soon enough our bags were checked, our fingers scanned, and we were lining up yet again. This time for rope drop. Again, a new and very much anticipated experience. We were too far back to see which family opened the park, but we did get a good view of the character bus as it pulled up. I like the procedure of the Cast Members walking briskly with the rope ahead of the crowd. I understand they didn't always do that, and I can only imagine the stampede that happened before they changed things. As it was, a family with a stroller was doing all they could to make sure they got in line for Soarin' before anyone else. I wasn't worried, I knew once they got to The Land Pavilion that they would be asked to go park that stroller outside and, as they did, those of us without strollers would pass them. (I'm not that competitive about lines, but I love to see rude and clueless people get theirs-I'm evil that way.) This was my first trip ever without a stroller and I have to say it was very nice just to get in line, ride something, and leave without all the parking, loading and unloading procedures a stroller dictates.

We got in line and it never really stopped moving until we hit the loading area. Natalie was a little nervous, but all of us were excited. Soarin' imitates the experience of hang-gliding over California. Kind of an IMAX theater thing with a little ride motion thrown in for fun. This is probably the only ride at EPCOT aside from the boat ride in Mexico that I think my mom and her bad back could handle without damage. The girls were disappointed it wasn't more of a thrill ride, but I thought it was lovely and a great way to start our day at the parks. Our next stop (as per the Unofficial Guide touring plan) was Test Track. I told the girls they would like it better as it is a bit more fast paced. Unfortunately, there was already a 35 minute stand-by wait when we got there. So, we grabbed some fast passes and walked toward the Wonders of Life Pavilion, hoping to catch it open since it only operates seasonally. It wasn't and the girls were already getting annoyed with all the walking. So, I completely broke with the tour plan and took everyone to the Universe of Energy. For those of you unfamiliar with Disney, this is a show about fossil fuel and other types of power made interesting by the antics of Ellen Degeneres, Bill Nye the Science guy, and some animatronic dinosaurs. For those alone, Tristan loves this ride. But I wasn't sure about Queenie and Lady Capulet, the thrill seekers. By the end of the ride/show, it was a bit hit with them. In fact, Lady Capulet still talks about how much she liked it. Score one for Disney in the 'fun AND educational' department.

By the time the show was over, our fast pass time had come. To explain things again to the Disney uninitiated, a fast pass enables you to return to a ride that commonly has long lines within a two hour window. To get one, you insert your park tickets into a machine near the ride and receive a little slip of paper telling you when to come back and stand in a specially designated line that is much shorter than the stand-by line. It's free to do this and the only drawback to it is that the later in the day you wait for passes, the longer the wait time stretches between the time you get your pass and the time you can return and ride. Since we got this pass early in the day, the wait was only 30 minutes. I entertained the girls with my Gameboy while we waited in line. I was disappointed that the two little videos I bought for this purpose were impossible to hear over the noise of the ride and crowds, but the girls were just as happy with Super Mario World or whatever that game is. Test Track is a ride that basically treats you like a crash dummy, then does just a little roller coaster action at the end. It's fun, but not too much for a big chicken like me. After the ride, we were hungry, so it was time to leave Future World and enter the World Showcase.

The Trip Pt. 8-Bye! Bye! Beach-Hello Mickey!

After brunch and one last stroll on the beach, I dragged the girls back inside so we could load the car. We left a little earlier than I planned which was good since we had to turn right back around and grab the Disney guidebook I had left by the bed the night before. It had our dining reservation numbers and tentative itinerary in it, there was no leaving it behind. The guard at the gate to P's condo laughed and said "didn't you just leave?" as he waved us through. We all waved at him on the way out-after so many visits through the years, he seems like part of my Florida experience too. We had another little detour at the gas station where I drove around in circles consistently winding up at a pump on the wrong side of the car. (I was in an unfamiliar rental and the place was extremely crowded-that's my story, yeah.) The good news was that by the time I got a pump and had the car lined up correctly, the station had just dropped it's price to $1.99 per gallon. Even better was that a Ford Focus fills up a lot more inexpensively than my mid-size SUV. Ten dollars and change and she was full. Wow!

The rest of the drive was uneventful. We had our Star Wars book on CD to minimize the back seat bickering, then I bought each girl a bag of gummy candy at our midpoint potty stop. I knew exactly which exit to take when we reached Orlando, and we completely missed any rain or traffic on the drive down. Happy day! I didn't know how to find our hotel, so I drive under that wonderfully familiar "Welcome to Walt Disney World" sign and was given directions by the abnormally happy and friendly Cast Member at the parking gate. I guess he knew her was at "the happiest place on earth." Goodness knows, we sure did.

As we drove through the WDW compound (trust me, it feels like that), the girls ooh'd and aah'd at all the neat things we passed. Before I knew it, we were pulling into one of those very convenient "for check-in only" parking spots at the front of the hotel, which was Port Orleans Riverside this trip. As much as I loved the Animal Kingdom Lodge last time, this really felt a lot more like the quintessential Disney hotel for families. We were checked in quickly with only one small glitch. When I told my travel agent that my sister wouldn't be coming after all, she must have assumed that the girls weren't coming either because the reservation was only in my name and Natalie's. It was no big deal to add them since they were minors and the room was already big enough for 5. It did worry me about the dinner reservations though, since the travel agent had made those too. We only had one important one which was Chef Mickey's for dinner that evening. When we got to our room, I called the dining number to see what could be done. They did have us down for a table for 2, but said not only did they have an open table for four, it was available at the same time! Now there's some Disney magic as anyone who has ever tried to get a last-minute table at Chef Mickey's can attest. With that settled, I checked out the room.

On paper, it is less square footage than the one we had at AKL, but it didn't seem that way. It must be the layout. You walk in the front door with a small table in front of you and two double beds to your left. Beyond the beds is a bathroom area with two pedestal sinks, a long hanging rack, and an ironing board. This can be closed off with curtains. The bath and toilet were behind a door to the left of the sinks. With the curtains, the girls and shared the bathroom much more efficiently. To the particular delight of my niece Queenie, there was a small trundle under one of the beds that she immediately claimed for herself. (I'm going to refer to my nieces as "Queenie" and "Lady Capulet." It doesn't really disguise their names and most of you already know them, I'm just proud for once to have thought up two clever screen names on the spur of the moment.) After some unpacking and some serious shell-trading from their new collections, I gathered the girls up to go to dinner. As we drove to the Contemporary (where I would happily stay if we ever won the lottery), it began to pour buckets of rain. In the ten minutes it took to get there, it stopped just as quickly. You gotta love Florida weather.

This was my first time inside the hotel. I was just as excited as the kids. I showed them where the monorail runs through the building, then they saw Chef Mickey's. They couldn't believe we were eating there. I ushered them quickly to a gift shop for autograph books and a pen. Then, we went to the waiting area. The line seemed long, but only because the restaurant opened at the same time as our reservations. In no time, all of us in that line were seated and enjoying the buffet. Just as we placed our drink order, Minnie Mouse was at our table. I thought Lady Capulet might find the characters beneath her dignity, but she didn't even try to hide her excitement. After a few bites of dinner, Goofy joined us for some fun. He even hugged me. Although even Natalie gets the fact that the characters are really just people in costumes, we were all hamming it up for the camera and having a ball. During the course of the meal, we also met Mickey Mouse and Chip and Dale. Donald was signing autographs in the waiting area as we left, so we saw him too. I've experienced several character meals at Disney World with kids of many ages and this was one of the best I can remember.

After that, we did a little window shopping before driving back to our hotel. The girls all showered, and I put on the bedtime story channel. Natalie remembered it from the last trip and was happy to see it until her cousins told her it was "baby stuff" that she was too old to like. I told them pleasantly, but firmly, that we were at Walt Disney World where no one is "too old" for anything.

I Don't See Dead People, Really

OK, so yesterday's venting is all over and I hope I haven't scared off any of my five or six readers by discussing my scary premonitions of death. I also hope I didn't appear ungrateful to
'the powers that be' by saying I wish I were a little less accurate with them. However, as I tearfully explained to my husband last night, what good is knowing something bad is going to happen in advance if you don't know what it is or how to stop it? I guess I have managed a couple of goodbyes that I would have missed otherwise, but my question remains. Oh, and it happens at complete random too-so don't bother emailing me asking if I can warn you when your time is up-I am still often caught just as off-guard as the next guy.

Onto more pleasant subjects, this time in the form of an FAQ for those of you (Hi Lammy!) who just found my blog recently:

So, who are you and what makes you think you can write anything anyone else would be interested in reading?

My name is Melessa (I'm too uncreative to think of a clever screen name) and I'm currently an at-home mom to 4, three girls and a boy with ages ranging from 1 year to 7 years. I don't think I'm particularly talented as a writer, but I always wished I could be an editorialist, a travel writer, or a parenting advice columnist. This blog achieves my "dream" without all the rejection letters I would likely get in the "real world."

Whereabouts do ya live?

I live in Oklahoma, but spent lots of summers in Tucson, AZ, Seattle, WA, and my aunt's tree farm in Oregon. (not close enough to any major city for me to make an association) So, I'm very partial to those areas too. I lived 18 mos. as a church missionary in Italy, and went to school at the U of A in 1996-1997. Lately, I've become a frequent visitor to Florida too, preferring to visit just before and just after hurricane season.

Missionary? Were you one of those name-tag wearing, door knocking people I like to sic my dogs after and to spray with my garden hose?

Yes I was-and I say it with pride. Fortunately for me, Northern Italy is mostly urban and I missed out on the dog and hose antics. However, I did get spit on, cussed at, and frequently witnessed little old ladies warding off my 'evilness' by making the sign of the cross when I passed them. It made me sad because some of my loved ones are Catholic and I'm usually fond of seeing the sign of the cross. It's pleasantly familiar to me. Also, there is nothing more wonderful than a little old Italian lady, and I hated being the object of their superstitious fear.

So if most of your family is Catholic (and Methodist, and Southern Baptist, and some other 'ists.'), does that mean you weren't raised LDS?

No, I wasn't. That is why you may read references to times in my life when I was drunk and/or in some inappropriate relationship. I became acquainted with the church at the age of 12, but didn't join until I was 20. At that point, I had seen and tried out some of how 'the other half lives' and found it wasn't for me.

So if you are LDS, does that mean you sit in judgment on the rest of us sinners?

Umm...no. I'm not perfect, I know no one in my church who is perfect, or anyone outside of it for that matter. My decision to become a member of my church came from the fact that it felt like my life's path. I have suffered a lot of grief from my family and complete strangers over this choice, which I feel is none of their business. As a result, I have become incredibly sensitive to anyone being judged harshly because of their beliefs or lifestyle and I am passionately committed to all people being free to pursue whatever belief or lifestyle that makes them feel complete. Didn't I read something in American history about "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"? Wasn't America originally founded by people who wanted to live and worship differently than their mother-countries dictated? I thought so. Sadly, most people seem to have forgotten this.
Lest I be flamed, let me finish this answer by saying that if your "pursuit of happiness" involves inflicting harm upon innocent men, women, and children; then, of course, I don't support that. Otherwise, I'm a 'live and let live' kind of gal. Jesus told us to "Judge not lest ye be judged" and to "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I try and work on those two and leave the moral judgments up to God where they belong.

So what, then, are your political beliefs?

I'm a registered Independent which basically means that I pick and choose what I like from all that is out there. Lately, there's been slim pickin's indeed. I'm liberal on social issues, somewhat conservative fiscally, and supportive of the US military. I'm the wife of a US veteran. As I enter into my third year in graduate school pursuing a degree in Museum Studies, I am rethinking my fiscal stance a bit, but these are my views in a nutshell.

Are you ever gonna finish that trip report?

Yes! I will get back to it tonight after the kids go to bed or tomorrow at the latest.

So, is there anything else ya'll want to know? Leave me a comment. Sooner or later, I do try and answer them. Thanks for reading.

Hug Your Kids Day

There may already be a day designated for this on the calendar, but if there isn't, I am officially designating today for it. You already read about my little misadventure in country driving yesterday, but what I left out is that I awoke that morning with a sense of dread that something terrible was going to happen and that I couldn't stop it. Even after the near-wreck, I still had an unsettling feeling in my gut and called home once during the make-up party just to make sure everyone was OK at my house. When I got home, I kept the kids closer than normal because I just couldn't shake the icky feeling. Even when I left on two other errands, my uneventful drives in and out of town didn't convince me everything was going to be OK. I kept trying to ignore the feeling because I've had these feelings before and it never turns out well. I remember saying a casual goodbye to my pal J when we were in high school, then seized with a sudden feeling of fear and dread, I grabbed him again and hugged him once more extra tight "in case I never see you again." A week later he was killed in a collision with a train. When my great-grandmother called to tell us she had suffered a mild heart attack and not to come see her until tomorrow, I told my parents if we didn't go see her tonight, we wouldn't see her at all. They dismissed me and were utterly shocked when her nurse called us early the next morning to let us know she was gone. The nurse himself was surprised too, but I wasn't. I was just sad. I knew when my mother in-law was diagnosed with a tumor that we would lose her within the year. When all went well with the surgery and the tumor was benign, I felt a little foolish, but very relieved. After all, how was I going to raise my expected baby girl without her? Then, the day I brought her home from the hospital, MIL suffered her first stroke, a pre-cursor to the one that would take her life a few weeks later. I could go on at length because I have several more examples, but let's just say that while I'm not the angel of death, I am frighteningly accurate about knowing when he or she is going to visit someone. I've been told that this is a blessed spiritual gift and that I'm lucky to be so sensitive to the other side. I wish I were a bit less blessed.

Since you know in what direction this is headed, I'll let you all know that my children are all just fine. A toddler who lives up the street from here was not so lucky. She was hit by a car last night about ten minutes after I pulled in my driveway and died shortly thereafter at the hospital. She was about Caroline's age. Her family was busy moving and she wandered off which we all know could easily happen to any one of us. As it turns out, I know her mother, her aunts, and a few of her uncles. They are a well-known family in my church and the relatives comprise about half the membership of the tiny branch where we all attend. I feel so sick and helpless. I told a friend who is closer to the family today that I would bring meals, watch kids, or do anything else that would help; except I didn't think I could look the mother in the face anytime soon. I don't know her well because she doesn't really come to church anymore, but I do know to be a sweet person who is completely wrapped up in little children. I worry about her because, beyond the obvious tragedy, she is very sweet, but a bit superficial and not incredibly mature. (although it's been a couple of years since we last chatted) Not to mention that her marriage was on shaky ground to start with. My heart is just broken for her. I haven't been able to pick Elisa up today without tearing up, but it hasn't stopped me from picking her up constantly. I guess the fact that this happened so very close to my house to someone I actually know has left me feeling a little vulnerable.

So, although I have no authority to do so, I'm still proclaiming today "Hug Your Kids" Day. In the all the fuss and noise of diaper changes, tantrums, sibling rivalry, back-talk; it's easy for us parents to forget just how vulnerable our little families are. I wish there were a better way to remind us. And sometimes, I really wish I could avoid that horrible feeling. It may keep death from surprising me as much, but it still hurts just as badly.

Thank You, Guardian Angel

One of my honorary mom's while growing up was (is) fond of saying "Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly." That's not why I was going a little slower than normal on Cole Rd. this afternoon, but I guess the angel was keeping up because I barely avoided a pretty serious wreck. Cole Rd. is a smaller highway leading to Blanchard which is about a half-hour drive. I was not going to church, but to visit a friend I attend church with for one of those frou-frou make-up parties. The highway is full of hills and the turn-off to her house is just past the crest of one of them. So, instead of 55 mph, I slowed to between 45 and 50 as I climbed each hill because I knew I would have to turn quickly and I wasn't 100% sure behind which hill her street was hiding.

Apparently, this was very upsetting to the jerk behind me who was riding my bumper with such intensity that I just knew I was going to get rear-ended when I slowed down for my turn. (and passing is allowed on this two-lane road, he was just being an ass, I guess) To try and lose him, I sped up a little just in time to go over "the" hill where I needed to turn left. I put on my turn signal at the top of the hill, hoping he was paying attention. I guess I had achieved just enough space between us that he didn't realize I was slowing just over the hill. All the turn signals in the world don't help when the idiot behind you isn't paying attention to them which I assume was the problem here. I heard his brakes squealing behind me and knew I wouldn't make that turn before he hit me. Amazingly calm, (because I am a NERVOUS driver by nature) I spotted a gravel driveway on my right just a few feet past my original turn and I swerved gently into it, avoiding a collision. I expected the jerk to go speeding past me, but instead he pulled in behind me, jumped out of his car, and started cussing a yelling in my direction. He was an older man and I suppose I should have shown proper respect by getting out and allowing him to let me have it. BUT, first of all, had we collided it would have been his fault and the whole problem for the past several miles was that he was driving way too aggressively. So, I didn't think I deserved his tongue lashing. Second, I prevented the wreck from happening, not him (and there was no oncoming traffic in the other lane had he chosen to swerve into it and avoid my car-but he did not.) Finally, it's just not smart for a woman by herself to be jumping out of her car to confront some irate man while parked on a gravel road in the middle of nowhere. So, making sure my doors were locked and the road was clear, I turned back around and drove off leaving him there screaming and shaking his fist at my closed windows. I am also proud at my restraint in not giving him a sarcastically friendly wave or any other hand gestures appropriate to the situation. Some things just aren't worth it. I was afraid he would follow me to my friend's house, then afraid he would call the police and report my tag number. Although I feel I handled the situation calmly while driving, I was shaking pretty hard when I pulled into my friend's driveway.

The ladies at the make-up party were half hoping he would show up so that he could be properly introduced to the menfolk gathered back in the den most of whom live in the surrounding area and are already sick of jerk drivers on that stretch of the road. When I called Dave fearing he would phone my license number into the police, he said he hoped he did so we could report him for unsafe driving. Apparently, it's a problem that the highway patrol are really trying crack down on in that area. So far, the rest of today has been quiet. But, in the future please remind me not to go driving on country roads without my cell phone. Also, that gentle swerve into the driveway was a maneuver executed with an ease and grace that I have never before possessed while driving. So, when they say "Never drive faster than your guardian angel..." they just might mean it.

(more trip report to come soon, I promise)

We Interrupt This Travelogue...again

Because I just can't resist recapping an annoying phone conversation with my mother who is currently on the road to Modesto, CA for a family wedding.

Mom: We are broken down in Phoenix. Do you know anyone from here who can fix the car?

Me: No Mom, I lived in Tucson. Check your map-it's a bit of a drive.

Mom: But I just thought with your 'connections' you might...

Me: Nope! And what connections?

Mom: Someone from your church-you know, with a statewide reputation for car service.

Me: Mom! Mormons, like any other religious group, do NOT ALL KNOW EACH OTHER JUST BECAUSE THEY GO TO THE SAME CHURCH! No, none of the gossip in the Tucson singles ward ever centered around a good person to know if your car broke down in Phoenix. Sorry.

Mom: Well, you were in that wreck...

Me: In ALBUQUERQUE! That's an even longer drive.

Mom: Who fixed your car there? Anyone you knew?

Me: AAAHHH!

I should probably mention that I had already ascertained my parents had broken down in a safe location with easy access to assistance and they were in no danger. Otherwise I wouldn't joke about this. Of course, now it occurs to me that two of my friend Andie's brothers do, in fact, live in the Phoenix area and are probably good at tinkering with cars, although it's not their main profession. They are also Mormon and I know them. I'm glad Dad opted to take it to a dealership anyway, because that car needs all kind of help and wasn't road-worthy in the first place. I'm also glad I'm just now remembering where Andie's brothers live. I would so hate to prove any of my mother's nutty assumptions to be correct.

The Trip Pt. 7-Back to the Beach

With all the luggage issues resolved, we went back to Aunt P's and hit the beach. The girls loved it just as much as Natalie, but it's a lot harder to corral three little girls in the water. My nieces are much stronger swimmers than Natalie because their other grandmother has a pool (Well actually, so do my parents, but they only clean it every two years or so.) Because they know they are good swimmers, they thought it perfectly fine to swim long distances from me. This freaked me out to no end because swimming in the ocean isn't anything like Nana E's pool back in Oklahoma. After about an hour they decided they would be happier in the pool and I agreed. Phew! They stayed in there until dinner and went right back afterwards. Because all four of us would be bunking together in the second bedroom, I was more than happy to let them wear themselves out as much as possible. When the sun went down, I sent everyone upstairs to the the shower. Because they were still giggly girls even after showers and pj's, I shut them in the bedroom and read "Traveling Mercies" until the whispers stopped. It's my first sampling of Anne Lamott and I have to say I'm impressed. Then, I pulled out my Disney guide book and mapped out a general strategy of our six-day visit. (Laugh if you must, but just try and visit that place without a plan and see how you feel at the end of your trip!)

I stayed up just a little later packing and organizing and saying goodbye to the rest and relaxation part of our trip. Aunt P had given me the family Bible and lots of pictures of my late MIL to take home to Dave. I was very touched. It's nice to be with people who still 'allow' us to remember Dave's mom. P and I chatted a bit more and she made me laugh by telling me that for all my talk of being "Independent," I don't fool her. She told me I was really a Democrat like her, but not to worry, she wouldn't tell David. Honestly, my political views really are too scattered for any party in particular, but we discussed a lot of social issues and since I'm a 'live and let live' kind of gal, I'm very liberal about those. It's probably a good thing we didn't discuss anything fiscal. Still, I appreciated her including me as a part of something she feels so strongly about. As much as I worried about my house full of girls driving her nuts, she really seemed to eat it up and enjoy all the company. I hope she had a nice time with us, I know we had a wonderful time being there. As much as I love Disney, I would really love a trip to Florida that just includes lots of beach time and visits with Aunt P. Does that mean I'm growing up? I sure hope not.

Tomorrow "The World"-Day 1...

The Trip Pt. 6-Luggage Lost and Found

A call to Mom on Saturday night reassured us all that we had plenty of time on Sunday before we had to pick up the girls. According to her, they were due to arrive at 3:25 p.m. She had been kind enough to fly them into Tampa so I didn't have to make the long drive to Orlando before Monday. Aunt P said that it's about a half an hour to the airport, but that we would leave a little on the early side because I had to get a special pass from the ticket counter to meet the girls at their arrival gate. After a late breakfast, Natalie and I headed out to the beach for some more play time before I planned for us both to take much-needed showers. My hair was crazy from the humidity and the salt water and I smelled more like the ocean than my usual Dove shower cream. After about half an hour, I saw Aunt P gesturing at us from her balcony and dragged Natalie out of the surf to see what she wanted. She said while looking online to check the girls' flight status, she noticed the plane was due to land at 1:25 rather than 3:25 and it was just after noon now! Much to Natalie's dismay, I told her it was time to go inside. When I told her that the girls might be arriving earlier than we thought, she was more cooperative about leaving the beach. I came in and tossed on an old Wal-Mart dress that I use as a cover-up. I called Mom on the cell phone while I looked again at the AirTran website. Aunt P was right, or so it seemed. Mom called back and rather than admit that she might have made a mistake, proceeded to get into an argument with me about it. Trusting Peggy and the website more than Mom, I threw on some shoes and dragged my crazy hair into a ponytail. I looked frightful, but when push came to shove, I didn't want to girls to be scared and alone more than I didn't want everyone else at the airport to be scared by my appearance. En route to the airport, Dad called. He said the itinerary had printed up in military time and that mom was wrong. I told him we were already on the way and he was relieved. I know Mom is capable of lots of evil, but this is the first time I've seen it affect her judgment when it comes to the grandchildren. I still can't believe it was more important, in her mind, to be right rather than for the girls to be safe. (I'm still a little ticked-can you tell?) She still refuses to acknowledge that she misinterpreted the 24-hour time clock and says the travel agent told her the wrong time. Whatever.

Aunt P made good time to the airport and, after waiting in the ticket line for what seemed like forever, I was dashing to the shuttle area. The security guy was fairly nasty to me notwithstanding my "special permission" form and my ID and asked his supervisor whether or not pass-holders were automatically given a personal inspection. She saw my beach attire and the frantic look in my eyes and must have discerned the situation because she told him "No, we usually take their pass, check their ID, and send them to pick up their kids." He waved me along and I shot her a grateful smile as I raced to the gate. The girls were right there waiting for me and I signed for them. I noted that my Dad had listed an incorrect address and phone number for me (mixed parts of the new and old) so I'm glad I was there right away to get them.

We met Natalie and Aunt P at Baggage Claim where the girls quickly grabbed their luggage. It seemed all too easy, and it was. Twenty minutes later as we all sat down to lunch, my cell phone rang again. Apparently Niece J had grabbed to wrong suitcase. Why I didn't double check her, I don't know. The suitcase did seem abnormally heavy for a ten year-old. I guess I just trusted for some part of this trip to go right. Not yet...So, we went straight back to the airport (by then I'm sure Aunt P was ready for us all to go to Orlando) where a very gracious man was waiting for his bag. He took it from me, asking with a smile if I had noticed he packed the kitchen sink. We got J's bag and I told both of them how lucky they were to even have bags. Mine was still unaccounted for, and I had about given up on it. Both he and the AirTran office staff told me not to let it ruin my trip. I promised I wouldn't. Can I just say here how much more efficiently run the Tampa airport is? Seriously. Now I know why it costs more to fly in and out of there, but on my next trip, I may just suck up the extra $$.

Then, just as I had accepted my suitcase was gone and was expressing gratitude for the many nice things I had decided to leave at home, we returned to a message on Aunt P's machine that informed us my bag had been recovered and was at the Orlando airport. Apparently, it had been picked up accidentally by the new Disney's "Magical Express" service that provides free transportation to the parks from the airport. We opted not to use it because we were going to visit Aunt P and because I've heard it still has a few kinks in its operation. Picking up luggage by mistake, in my opinion, definitely qualifies. Anyway, I told them to hold the bag in Orlando and I would meet their couriers tomorrow at the Port Orleans resort. I hung up and counted my blessings. The girls and I all arrived safely, Dave had sent along the Revenge of the Sith book on CD, and we all had our suitcases accounted for, finally. Things were looking up!

The Trip Pt. 5-Alone At Last, For a Day or Two

For those of you new to my blog, you may have missed my last Disney trip report. It's in the December 2004 archives if you are interested. Anyway, it details how on our last trip, poor Natalie got a stomach virus and felt she had missed out even though she didn't get sick until our last day. Because I felt bad for her getting sick and because I often feel that with all the other kids around here I barely know her anymore, I told her if I got a good email or postcard code from Disney (periodic discounts they seem to send at random and, no, I don't know how or why I get them from time to time) we would take a shorter trip just the two of us as soon as school was out. No sooner did I make that promise than I was bombarded simultaneously with three emails and a postcard almost as soon as we got home. (I've since gotten nothing which proves the walls at Disney do have ears-Mickey ears.) I had always wanted to try out Port Orleans resort and had heard that if you stayed in a certain part of it, that you could bunk five to a room instead of four. This appealed to me because I thought I could talk my sister and her two older daughters into coming along for some serious theme-park bonding with no Mom to instigate fights among us. (I would direct you to the archives of our Jan. 2001 "family" trip, but fortunately they don't exist. If they did, they would be filed under "the trip from hell," 'nuff said.) She initially agreed, but then decided summer school at OU was more important. But, she still wanted me to take the girls. So, Natalie and I decided to fly out early and visit Aunt P, then return to Orlando, pick up my nieces, and see Walt Disney World. Of course, my mom put herself in charge of the flight arrangements and flew the girls in one day earlier than I wanted. I love the girls and they are well-behaved, but I didn't want to overwhelm Aunt P's tiny condo with three kids at once. When we travel there as a family, we don't even stay with her. But, what would any trip in my life be without being inconvenienced by my mother, who I suspect was still annoyed that I turned down her generous offer to come along and "help" with the girls.

So, that left Saturday for Natalie and I to squeeze in all the mother/daughter bonding time I had planned for us. I think we did well. After a visit to Wal-Mart for a few things to wear while the luggage was in limbo, we hit the beach which is right in Aunt P's backyard. It wasn't as idyllic as it's been on previous visits because they were in the process of installing some kind of artificial walls to prevent the shore washing out and it wasn't very pretty, but the water was still warm and the waves were still gentle. I was a bit nervous at Natalie's bravery. She doesn't swim well and the ocean can trick even the heartiest swimmers. So, we stuck to the shallow areas and did a lot of sea shell collecting. It was a wonderful day. We switched from pool to ocean and back, floated on pool noodles in the waves, and gathered a huge pink bucket full of shells. To Natalie's dismay, I insisted we get out and eat lunch with Aunt J who lives about a half-hour south of Aunt P. It's unlike Aunt J to go out of her way to see anyone even her sister who only lives a short drive, so the visit was important. (Though I'm told that since Aunt P came back after her son's funeral, Aunt J has been a whole lot more attentive to her-thank goodness!) In my opinion, any time the children or I can connect with anyone from my late MIL's family, we should do it. But, tell that to the little girl who had to get out of the pool and get dressed. She was less than gracious, but both the aunts seemed to forgive her.

After a very full day of various water activities, we both showered off feeling tired and just a little bit pink from all the sun. I was a little sad that we would already be picking up the girls tomorrow, but Natalie was excited. She said "It's been nice playing with you, Mommy, but now I want some kids here." She was going to get her wish. I just hoped Aunt P could stand all the excitement.

The Trip Pt. 4-The Calm Before the Storm(s)

The drive to Aunt P's was relatively uneventful. She lives in St. Pete Beach which is on the across the bridge from Tampa near St. Petersburg. It is, however, its own separate entity from St. Petersburg with its own City Hall and everything. I bring this up only because women back here in Oklahoma will actually argue this with me even though I've been there four times now and they haven't. Not to be outdone, the idiot at the customer "service" counter for AirTran also insisted it didn't exist and he actually lives in Florida. Scary. Anyway, once the rain let up a bit more, we found I-4 and were on our way. It is worth noting that it took me almost an hour to get through traffic leaving Orlando at about 2 p.m. (and the traffic coming in was just as bad), but only 15 minutes to get through Tampa at 4:45 p.m. Go figure. My only other beef about the drive was that the lovely princess CD I bought for Natalie sure did get old fast. I had planned on bringing Dave's audiobook of Revenge of the Sith and, in my haste at the airport, left it sitting in the front seat of the car. You can only listen to "So This is Love" so many times before you want to pull your hair out. Fortunately, Natalie fell asleep and I discovered Tampa's "The Point" which plays all 80's music. It's a good thing too because that drive from Orlando to Tampa only seems to have gotten longer and more boring since we made it last December.

After getting through "rush hour" with a minimal wait, we got to my favorite part of the drive which is when you cross a bridge over the gulf from Tampa into St. Petersburg. I've done it several times now, but I still feel myself relax the minute I start driving over the water. I don't know why. Earlier, I had played with the radio a bit while in that light traffic and found a station that played a lot of show tunes. I love a good show tune and had been singing along enthusiatically with several of them when "Moon River" started just as I drove onto the bridge. I used to sing that with my Dad when we watched "Breakfast at Tiffany's." It's silly, but after such a stressful morning, hearing that song and seeing the water brought tears to me eyes-happy tears. I love visiting Aunt P, I love being on the gulf coast, I was in one of my favorite places, hearing a favorite song, and remembering one of the happier moments in my childhood. This trip just might be worth it after all.

Dave called on the cell just as I was exiting the highway. Actually, he called twice because I don't go out of my way to answer the phone while driving. Feeling just a little unsure of my directions, I answered the second time for some pointers. I got a little turned around as often happens when we make that drive. Dave was at work, so he took the phone over to a computer and used an interactive map to guide me. Before long, I knew exactly where I was and we liked each other a lot better than we had earlier that morning. We chatted until I was about a block from the condo. It was so nice to be back. Aunt P is actually Dave's aunt, but very fond of me and the kids. She has been through a lot in her life. She lost her parents when Dave was little, her youngest son and then her husband a few years later, her only full sister (Dave's mom) not long after, and her other son passed away suddenly in April. She still has two older half-sisters, but that's about it. One of the reasons I let myself get talked into this trip was because I knew she was looking forward to having us. She was thrilled to see us get there in one piece and sorry about our luggage. Before I knew it, Natalie and I were sitting on her balcony overlooking the gulf with cold drinks in our hands. Maybe a trip to Florida wouldn't be the end of me. Maybe it would even be fun.

We Interrupt This Travelogue...

...for a weather report. Severe storms last night knocked out the power to a South Norman residence about an hour before Daddy was due home from work. This caused widespread panic among the children who immediately rose from their beds and headed to the stairs in the pitch black darkness of their rural home. The mother, who was silently cursing herself for not putting the emergency flashlight back by the bed after taking it away from her five year-old son, was stumbling around looking for a lighter so she could actually put all the money she has wasted at Partylite home shows to good use. She advised the children to drop to their rear-ends and scoot the rest of the way downstairs so they didn't trip and fall. As they did so, she recovered the lighter and proceeded to do a good job of illuminating the stairs, the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room with her so-called "frivolous" purchases. Then, just because she could, she lit candles in her bedroom and bath too. Later, as the calm and happy children sat in the living room on their sleeping bags eating animal crackers by candlelight, their father returned. The children are quoted as saying "Daddy's home! Now our problems are solved!" The mother is said to have gestured at their completely well-lit downstairs and said, "Um, Hello?!" And so it goes...

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

The Trip Pt. 3-The Turning of the Tide

So, I'm in line at the rental car area telling Dave on the cell phone how much I really want to come home when things start to get better. First, he finally remembers his password for e-reader which means I can finally unlock the three e-books I downloaded to my PDA before leaving home. I forgot to mention that for the part of the flight I didn't spend shaking and trying to calm my stomach, I was unsuccessfully trying to remember Dave's password so that I could read and, you know, relax a little before we landed. It didn't happen. So, now I had my books again and it was my turn in line. I approached the agent warily, just knowing my excellent rental rate would be bogus or that my reserved car would be gone. Neither were true. The agent was funny, the car was ready, and he jokingly asked me if a convertible upgrade would help. Since I had Natalie with me and we were doing lots of highway driving I passed this time-but thanked him for the offer.

As we left the airport, for the parking garage, a light afternoon shower began. "How lovely", I thought and I truly meant that. But, I was wrong to let my guard down just yet. By the time we exited the airport, the light sprinkles had turned to buckets of water. You know, the kind that your windshield wipers can't clear no matter how fast they go? Presuming, of course, that you can work your wipers which I couldn't. I just held the button down in 'clean windshield' mode as I tried to make out the road and keep up with traffic. Now, after four previous trips, I know Orlando pretty well, but not the airport. Because Aunt P lives near Tampa, we usually fly in and out of there. But, it was too pricy this time. Not knowing which part of I-4 I would exit to, and not really wanting to drive in the downpour, I skipped the exit and pulled into the nearest parking lot. It was a Denny's. Natalie and I waited on the rain to ease up while I familiarized myself with the wipers on the car. That turned out to be a good idea. I'm not a big Denny's fan, but between cloudbursts I spotted a Bennigan's. Oh yeah! Turkey O'Toole, here I come IF I can figure out how to get into that parking lot. We finally got parked, and at a break in the rain, we raced inside. (Silly me packed the umbrella and rain ponchos in the lost luggage.) Life is always a lot better after ice water, pretzel bread, and a shared dessert with your oldest daughter. Feeling better about life, we went back to the car and called Aunt P to let her know we were on our way.

The Trip Pt. 2-I'm on Vacation?

When I left off, I was standing in the shower bleary-eyed and mad at Dave who was not cooperating at all in the whole 'get up early and get to the airport before the flight takes off' plan. In fact, he must have hit the snooze button because both he and the kids were all snoozing when I got out of the shower. Not good. I awakened him none too gently and told him that he and the kids would have to check out of the hotel after he dropped us at the airport. I hurriedly urged Natalie to get dressed and changed diapers on the other kids. I told Dave not to dress them and just to throw them in the car in their pajamas since they weren't getting out anyway. Then, I went to the bathroom. In my absence, Dave decided to 'teach me a lesson for being so bossy' by dressing all the kids ever. so. slowly. I grabbed the two that were already ready and told him to get downstairs with the other ones ASAP. He arrived ten minutes later with suitcases in hand and said he would "be right back." Fifteen minutes later he got into the car all mad at the check-out clerk because she was insisting on charging us for another day even though we had our reservation print-out in hand that showed we had requested just one night. As usual, she blamed this on hotels.com. Because we were running so late, I could do nothing but tell him to get us to the airport before I killed him, and to sort it out later. You know, AFTER you drop us off like I asked you to in the first place. So, I spent the airport drive fretting alternately over the extra charges on our debit card and missing our plane. I told Dave as we pulled up into the drop-off zone that my threats to pack up and leave him were becoming less and less empty by the minute and that perhaps he should consider packing a bag himself when I got home. I reminded him we are currently the proud owner of two homes and that maybe he would be happier in the other house where no one was "bossy" and he could sit around all day doing nothing without pissing me off in the process. I said I would rather be a single mom to four kids not expecting any help from him than a frustrated married woman who was being neglected, ignored, and intermittently tortured with passive/aggressive behavior. I think I scared him because as we unloaded the car he was all insistent about giving me hugs and kisses which, quite frankly, I didn't want.

Natalie and I arrived to huge lines at the ticketing desk and only two people staffing it. Everyone was pushy and disgruntled. Finally, one of the agents shouted to the more vocal among the crowd that if she wanted to hear so much griping all day, she would quit her job and stay home with her two boys-then we would have even fewer agents to check us in. (she was hilarious, I'm not doing her justice with this recap) That shut up the complainers and made the rest of us laugh. After being reassured that we would be called up to the front regardless of our place in line at thirty minutes before flight departure, I put a very nervous fourteen year-old boy in front of me in line because he looked so lost standing alone behind me. He tried to act all cool about the fuss I was making over him, but did move up looking relieved to have an adult 'in charge' of him. He chatted happily with me until they called all of us on the Orlando flight to the front of the line. He even helped me move my bags up there so, the lesson is, it pays to be nice. (and I noticed the man in front of me started chatting with him as soon as I had to move-this world isn't completely hopeless yet)

Even being bumped up in line didn't mean we weren't running for the plane after we went through security. Dave must have been feeling bad because my cell phone went off not less than three times while I was at the checkpoint. I thought picking it up would be rude, so I didn't. One of the ladies at security laughed and said "My husband does that too." (It was nice to see a smile from security-they have a rough job of it these days.) After some wrangling once we were aboard, Natalie and I managed to get the last two seats on the plane together. I hate this kind of stress while traveling. Even before 9/11, I much preferred to get to the airport early, get my seat, and sit at the gate flipping through a book or magazine. I used to travel a lot and I know that waiting is better. I hate running and I really hated making Natalie do it. I hated that my little girl's "window seat" was just a wall because our seats were at the back of the plane-but I was grateful we made it. I was also glad to be in the seats closest to the lavatory because my stomach was in knots at this point. At least Natalie was still excited. We were both hungry. We had planned on grabbing something on our way to the gate, not realizing we would pass the food court at a dead run. So, I fed my child airplane pretzels and Sprite for breakfast. How lovely. I had a Diet Coke and proceeded to shake for the rest of the flight, just what my stomach needed. But hey! At least I was wide awake.

We had an amazingly uneventful flight for all the stress involved in getting us on board. Dave was calling again as we landed and I turned my cell phone back on. I told him about our race to the gate and how we had to miss grabbing our planned breakfast before boarding because we got to the airport late. He didn't seem to care. He told me he still hadn't talked to hotels.com. I told him not to call me again until it was resolved. (I know, I'm not being very nice to him, but in my defense, he's not exactly Mr. Fun-and-Cooperative either) On our way to baggage claim, Natalie and I hit the airport Disney store. Since nothing there was any more overpriced than it would be in the parks, I grabbed a new Disney Princess CD to listen to on the drive from Orlando to St. Pete Beach. Then, we went to baggage claim. I'll bet you can guess what happened there. Yep! no suitcase. Thank goodness I didn't pack my laptop. After filling out a lost luggage report, I dragged myself over to the rental car counter. At this point, I was ready just to call it quits and go home.

The Trip Pt. 1-Athenaze

In my one year as a grad student at the U of A, I had to take Ancient Greek 101 & 102. Apparently, being able to read in Latin and speak Italian fluently (which I did back then) weren't enough. The name of our textbook was Athenaze (pronounced "athenazduh") and while I'm sure the right ctl/alt keys on this laptop would give me the right Greek characters to type it correctly, I'm too lazy to look them up. I didn't much care for Greek, but I did learn a new appreciation for Shakespeare's "It was Greek to me." Trust me folks, that's a funny joke. During the first semester, we covered the basics. Fortunately, four years as an undergrad sorority girl taught me my Greek alphabet just fine and I did well. Second semester, we began translating. We had a series of basic stories about a farmer named Dicaeopolis who worked hard. After a few chapters about what a bang-up farmer he was, his wife and daughter get a bug in their ear to head to Athens for a festival. Hence the book title "athenaze" which translates "to Athens." Farmer Dic agrees a trip might be fun, but tries to talk his family out of it because he just knows it will bring ruin to his farm. In the end, his wife and daughter prevail and he says something akin to "All right, we will go, but this trip will be our ruin. Just wait and see." Sure enough, they do go and have a great time. Then, on the way home, they lose their younger son and by the time they find him, he has been beaten up by a gang of "bad boys" and is left blind. So, while the farm goes to pot, Dicaeopolis and family head to one of the famous Greek temples so the boy can be healed. I'm sure there's more to the story, but that's as far as I got in two semesters. How does this relate? Well, about two months ago, I started thinking that maybe we should cancel our "all-girl" Disney trip. My sister had already bailed, leaving me to care for Natalie and her two oldest kids on my own. With the purchase of the new house and our old one not yet listed for sale, a trip to Florida seemed like a bad idea. But, Natalie and my nieces prevailed on me to go anyway and so did Dave and my parents who promised they would help with money for my sister's kids and then reneged when they needed to repair their car. I tried to tell anyone who would listen that this trip would break us, that the plane might crash, and that I didn't even want to go that badly. But everyone insisted we go, so I got a good deal on a flight and a rental car and tried to get excited. Even so, as I prepared to leave, I couldn't help remembering the plot to my old Greek textbook and wondering if the week ahead would be 'paradise found' or Athenaze all over again.

As the trip began, I was pretty sure we were headed for disaster. Two weeks before we were due to leave, I got an email from one of my professors. I thought it was to tell me my final grade. Instead, he was asking if he had somehow missed that second paper I surely sent to him before the semester ended. He needed to know ASAP because it was time to turn in final grades and he only had half of my coursework. Umm...second paper?! I only saw one on the class website. Isn't this just supposed to be a recurring nightmare? He checked the website and saw how I made my mistake. There are two places to click for unit reading and writing assignments-the one down the middle of the page lists only three units and one paper, the one in the top right hand corner lists four units and two papers-perhaps if he had bothered to communicate with us even once throughout the semester besides a 'welcome' email sans due dates and a 'where is your missing paper?' email at the end of the semester, we wouldn't have had this misunderstanding, but I digress...The bottom line was that I had two weeks to pack for the trip, read a few books, and write a comprehensive paper-and don't forget move into a new house and care for four children, but why sweat the small stuff?

On the day we had to leave for Dallas, I had the paper's conclusion and bibliography to complete, hotel reservations to make (our flight was out of Dallas in the early AM, so we needed a place to sleep once we got there), and final packing preparations. Thank God for Flylady, because I broke it all down into 45 minute intervals and we were on the road by 4 p.m. Feeling a little less-than-normally prepared because I had been juggling so much at once, I thought I could relax. I thought wrong. A DVD player in the backseat is no longer enough to keep my kids from fighting, and Elisa screamed most of the trip too just for good measure. After a dinner at the slowest and most understaffed IHOP ever in Gainesville, we got lost looking for our Dallas hotel. First, we arrived at the wrong one where the front-desk clerk was condescendingly rude to me about it until Dave came in and glowered at him, at which time he became suddenly helpful and friendly and quickly directed us to the "right" place. I use those quotes because to say anything was "right" about this hotel would be misleading.

The place was in a slightly seedy area (hence, the rudeness of the clerk at the other hotel, I suppose) and we got there only to be placed in a king room rather than a double. When we explained we reserved a double, he said he didn't "have to honor" a guarantee made by hotels.com. In fact, he was rather nasty about it. So, with no good parking, we dragged our tired selves across lot and up to the third floor. I told Dave he had ten minutes to find another hotel room or I was leaving him. Apparently, I need a new threat because two hours later I was unable to hook up to the internet to email my paper to my professor. (I had to leave before I had proofread and spell-checked to my own satisfaction, and I naively believed the Comfort Suites claim about free internet) Unwilling to go more rounds with my nemesis at the registration desk downstairs, I saved the paper and told Dave what he needed to do to send it in when he got back to home. Then, Dave and I had a lovely spat about why I didn't want to take along my laptop in my checked baggage. He thought it would be fine rattling around in my suitcase. I disagreed. I think he just didn't want to email the paper, but I didn't care. I was stressed, I felt unprepared for travel, and I had a killer headache from the stress of the paper, the packing, the road trip to Dallas, and the rude clerks at both hotels. I had to be up at the crack of dawn to catch a flight I was just sure was going to crash and I had to share a hotel-sized king bed with three of my children. Dave is an intelligent man on many fronts, but he has not yet figured out there are times when it's better just not to pick a fight with me. I told him we needed to be at the airport by 6:30 a.m. at the latest for our 8:15 flight. He scoffed. I sat my alarm early, and he set his for 30 minutes later. I wanted to kill him, but instead I just settled in with my fighting children for some sleep. After what felt like about 10 minutes, my alarm went off and I jumped in the shower. I was bleary-eyed, unenthusiastic, and, to quote my beloved Star Wars, I had "a bad feeling about this..."

"I'm So Glad I'm Home...

that I'm almost glad I went." That's a punchline to an old joke about what a kid says to his parents after he experienced every mishap possible when he went to a birthday party. (just in case you didn't get the reference) While I did have a good trip, I have to agree with the kid on this one. (details to follow) Unfortuately, I came home to a very sick Elisa and Caroline whose "Mommy is blogging" alarms went off as soon as I tried to dial-up MSN. Not good. One is laying on me, the other is crying because she isn't laying on me. So, the trip report will have to wait for bedtime. I just wanted to let you all know Natalie and I are back and in one piece and I wanted to welcome everyone that de-lurked after my last post. It's nice to know I'm not blogging in an empty forest. Oh, and Holly, unless they play OU, I cheer just as vehemently for OSU in just about every sport they play. I even have an OSU t-shirt.