The Things I Still Believe

Back when I published regularly, I was still a very active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That began to fall by the wayside in 2010, by the time the 2015 "Exclusion Policy" leaked and the church leaders doubled down on it in response, our whole family knew it was time to step back and think about what we actually believed. Ten year later, we are still thinking about it.

In the interim, I have attended a couple of funerals and another service when a friend's son was preparing to leave on his mission. (Because, in her words, "If I've gotta go, you've gotta go." And honestly, it was a great day.) Watching the MoTab choir sing at the 2017 inauguration was a gut punch. I was angry at the obvious political endorsement which went against everything I believe about the separation of church and state. But I was also sad, because I could have told each and every singer, each and every church member who backed the new president, that he didn't want any of them, just their money and their vote. That's all he wants from all of us. And while I acknowledge the existence of more nuance than that, I don't see it. All I see is someone who feels entitled to pit us against each other for nothing more than personal gain. And I still believe that America has always had the potential to be better than a bunch of petty playground kids 'owning' each other. While, sadly, there were many incidents that tried to prove me wrong over the weekend, I'm going to focus on the one that hit closest to home, obviously the shooting and arson in Grand Blanc, MI.

While I'm not sure me, my husband, or any of our adult and almost adult children have any interest in returning to church. We cried with the rest of the country-or so we thought-on Sunday as images of the smoldering building in ruins invaded our tv and social media spaces. It is heartbreaking in any circumstance, but the most active we were as a family was when my children were little and because most LDS church buildings look the same, all seven of us could picture exactly how the scenario unfolded and what it could have looked like for us just a few short years ago. It hit all of us very deeply and none of us were quite sure why except that we can all picture it so vividly and all of us still have people we love who are still active members. A quick scroll though Threads and Facebook reassured me that we weren't the only less active and former members who had taken this completely to heart. But what has shocked me is that it seems to be only us along with the active members who are reeling in hurt and shock. The rest of the so-called Christian world, not so much.

Instead of mourning at the levels we all saw for Charlie Kirk, these 'brothers and sisters in Christ are more inclined to return ridiculous arguments over whether church members are Christian or not and therefore whether they are "worthy" of love, attention, and support. And here are all of us who exited stage left years and decades ago finding ourselves in the awkward position of vehement defenders of a faith that we chose to step away from willingly. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. As is always the case, the awkward silence of Christian Nationalists who are very interested in the church's resources, just not quite being able to bridge the gap when it comes to accepting them as equals or fellow Christians. And again, it makes me so sad to watch the church members collectively do everything they can for a seat at the table only to be denied true fellowship, even under the worst of circumstances. Or at least I sure haven't seen any flags at half-staff or anything else remotely resembling the outcry at the death of Mr. Kirk. I have believed since 2016 that all the church was for them was a number of votes and a healthy infusion of cash. And yet, it hurts to be proven right, even when I no longer have a dog in this particular fight.

I am heartbroken for the members in Grand Blanc, but also relieved to feel like not much more than a bystander in all of this, albeit one with a bit more insight than most. I may have my issues with the church and I haven't changed my mind, but now is not the time to air those in detail. Instead, it's time to once again acknowledge my duty to 'mourn with those that mourn' and to honor those who were hurt and even killed simply because they chose to help someone they thought was in trouble. It doesn't reallly matter whether I agree with them about religion or anything else at this particular moment. I am told that the majority of the gunshot victims sustained those injuries racing to try and help the perpetrator when he drove his truck into the building. And picturing that makes me think of one of the most poignant speeches from The West Wing which I will close with in a moment. I know our country is a divided mess. But I refuse to let it divide from the people I love. And I know that all of us, no matter what we believe or don't believe, will one day walk those 'crowded streets' together. But that doesn't mean we should wait until we get there before we remember we have it in us to be better. This isn't anything leaders on any particular side are going to tell us right now. I don't think they want us to know. But it's something I still believe we can figure out for ourselves. I may not recognize the church anymore, but I still believe in the good people I knew there. I may not recognize our nation in this particular moment. But I still believe in its potential for greatness.

"More than any time in recent history, America's destiny is not of our own choosing. We did not seek nor did we provoke an assault on our freedom and our way of life. We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people's strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive...Three swimmers from the men's team were killed and two others are in critical condition. When, after having heard the explosion from their practice facility, they ran into the fire to help get people out. Ran into the fire. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. this is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars. God bless their memory, God bless you and God bless the United State of America..."

Amen.

One in Every Crowd

This weekend was the Sooner Theatre Showcase. The kids anticipate their big moment in the spotlight for the eight months they spend in class and parents see it as their pay-off for all the pick-ups, drop-offs, and losing their seats in the lobby while waiting on classes to be over because they politely get up to take a phone call and some rude-ass intellectual wannabe plops himself into it the minute you do that. (Oh wait, maybe that was just me that happened to...) The kids were wonderful, as expected. I was particularly pleased with Tristan's performance. I knew he could sing, but it turns out he can really dance too. Being somewhat of a sap, the end of each kids' performance brought happy tears to my eyes. I was wiping them away when I overheard this:

"I feel so sorry for those boys who get stuck in an all-girl class because their mom wants to see them onstage. That poor kid is probably going to grow up and be gay."

I SO wish I was exaggerating or kidding. The good news was I didn't recognize the woman who made the comment so her kids and mine must not have classes together. (Now I've cursed myself for next year, but anyway...) Another nearby mom must have seen the resemblence and, in an attempt to get her friend to make less of an ass of herself, asked me politely if that was my son who had just performed. I said it was and smiled nicely. Not because I was feeling particularly charitable, but because I wanted to have a good time watching the show. Ms. Tactless asked me if my son really liked being in the class. I said that he REALLY did. I smiled, the music for the next show queued, and I let it go. However, I kind of wish I had said at least one of the following:

1. All Broadway actors are gay you say? I've got two words for you: Hugh Jackman. (Mmm...Hugh...what was I writing about again?)
2. Did you note the rolled up cuffs on my son's jeans? They are too long and too big in a size 8 and he just turned 10. Thank goodness he would rather sing and dance than play football. He'd be killed.
3. So what if he is gay? (Though I think genetics would play a much stronger role in that than singing and dancing on stage. But that's just me.)

I'm glad I didn't engage in anything with her. It would have been, at best, a completely unproductive conversation. I am remided of the phrase "I refuse to have a battle of wills with an unarmed person." It also might have ruined what was otherwise a completely wonderful day. (Some of which Dave caught on video-consider yourselves warned...)

My Lesson(s) For the Day

Right after the election, I wrote about a couple who came and spoke at church and how annoyed I was that they basically said the end of the world couldn't be too far away if someone like Barack Obama coul d be elected President. I wasn't sure if they meant that because he was a Democrat or because he was African-American, but either way I was highly offended by both of their opening remarks and can't tell you a word of what their actual messages were for that Sunday.

They were back today. This morning was stressful. Caroline was sick and because I had to teach Relief Society today (the church's women's organization), Dave had to stay home with her. Everyone got up late, I knew I wouldn't have his help with the kids at church; and I was half-tempted just to stay at home and drive up only for the hour that I had to teach my lesson instead of going for the church service and Sunday school as well. However, I'm trying to teach my kids that doing things halfway is NOT the way you should live your life, so I hauled myself, my newborn, and two of my daughters out the door first thing this morning. The baby was hungry as soon as we arrived. I had to skip taking the Sacrament to feed her AND leave Natalie and Elisa completely unattended in the church building while I went to the building next door where we've concluded that I can nurse unoffensively. Needless to say, seeing the wife speaking as I re-entered the building (and knowing her husband would follow with his own remarks) did NOT soothe my soul or make me glad I hadn't stuck with the "just come by yourself later and teach your lesson" plan.

And yet, as I settled in and listened to both of them, their presentations today were very good. Ultimately, I did feel inspired as the church service came to a close. (No one was more surprised than me.) So basically, this couple does have good messages when they come to visit as long as they leave their politics and personal biases at the door. Isn't that true of all of us? I'm going to work harder at making sure that's true for me. Lesson learned. It was a good Sunday. And I'm glad we were there for all of it.

Week In Review

Reading-

Sadly, I have no concentration for reading anything this week.

Listening-

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
We finally got it at the library and started listening to it the other day. The only drawback is that Tristan and Caroline are into them now and I can't play the CD's unless three out of four children are in the car. Elisa is our lone holdout, she still requests the Mamma Mia soundtrack every time we get in the car.

Watching-

The West Wing Season 3-

Long ago, Dave was nice and bought the entire series on DVD for me. Then I got pregnant and nauseous. There are shows I still can't stand to watch from previous pregnancies because I was nauseous while watching them. I didn't want this show to suffer that fate, so I put it away until I felt better. By the time I felt better, things were crazy at work and at school and it got pushed to the back burner until now when I remembered I had them. So, because I don't feel like doing much of anything else, I'm making my way through the episodes pretty quickly. In a good way, I'm amazed that such a great show lasted 7 seasons here. We Americans don't usually reward good TV. Based on when the show aired, I've decided it must have lasted because it was the Democrats coping mechanism for the Bush White House. (And I don't mean that in a derogatory way. In fact, watching it makes me more than a little embarrassed that I voted "W" in 2000. I was a military wife back then, what can I say?)

Out and About

Young Producers Les Miserables-

Last month was all about the kids' productions of Beauty and the Beast and The Gondoliers. This month, the high school students in town got their turn to shine and shine they did! Natalie wanted desperately to see them perform (some the the cast are friends of hers) and so the plan was always for her to go with some adult in the family. Because Baby Girl Gregg is in no hurry to be born, that adult was me. And I'm very glad. I am kind of a snob about Les Mis, I saw it on tour when it came here in 1998. I bought the soundtrack. I watched the London Cast tribute on PBS. I knew the kids would do well, because Sooner Theatre prides themselves on that. I had NO IDEA how much they would blow me away. Yes, I cried. Several times. I know I'm pregnant and hormonal, but I'm not the only person who was crying and of my friends who saw it, loved it, and needed tissues; NONE of us had kids who were actually in the production. The kids who did perform were just that good. And the young man who played Jean Valjean was amazing for a male performer of ANY age in that role. If you live in Norman, I can't say enough about the talent of the 14-18 year-old crowd who perform at Sooner Theatre. Between the kids' lessons, the concessions and raffle tickets I buy during their shows, costume fees, etc...I don't doubt that I make a decent-sized contribution to their operating budget. And even after seeing a show that my kids weren't a part of, I still say it's worth every penny I send their way. Remind me of that tomorrow when I pay all the kids' class deposits for the next school year. Either way, it was a wonderful production for actors of any age and they should be very proud of themselves tonight. (And very glad that it's over-I know I would be.)

Just Wrong

As most of you know, my opinion on abortion can be summed up like this: "I could never have one, but I think it should be safe and legal and available to all women." Admittedly, a lot of this came from reading John Irving's The Cider House Rules. (Which is WAY better than the movie, by the way.) But whatever my opinion may be, however they may differ from anyone who reads this blog; I hope we can all agree that the murder of Dr. Tiller yesterday was senseless. In addition to telling us that "thou shalt not kill," God also said to leave judgement and punishment up to Him and 'love our neighbors as ourselves.' Unfortunately, I think we all have a long way to go before we get there.

A Contradiction in Terms

I've been doing a lot of pondering today, and I think that's what I am. Just one big walking contradiction. In the recent past, I've been furious over my church's involvement in Proposition 8 in California; but equally outraged that many Prop 8 opponents have opted to harass temple workers with pointless white powder mailings and occasional physical violence (most temple workers are retired senior citizens, by the way); not to mention vandalism rather than through the appropriate (and, on my part, encouraged) peaceful protesting. (Yes, there has been that too, and I'm heavily in favor of it. But to me, vandalism and bullying are junior high behaviors no matter how frustrating the situation is-and I agree that it IS frustrating.) Because I still feel that Proposition 8 violates the "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" part of the Constitution, I will continue to oppose it. But seeing pictures of spray-painted temples and hearing stories about protesters being physically rough with the senior citizens who work in them have certainly given me much pause to re-think my stance in the last several weeks.

In a related scenario, I am furious at Focus on the Families decision to cave to the pressure of moronic Christian fundamentalist groups and yank a rather inspiring interview with Glenn Beck off of their website. My husband finds my indignation funny because he knows darn well that I'm not a fan of Glenn Beck, dislike Fox News, and will probably never read The Christmas Sweater. But I'm still angry. I find it funny how Focus on the Family wasn't above pooling their resources with the Latter Day Saints (which, according to the protesters, was quite a bit of money and a huge pool of volunteer workers) in order to get Prop 8 passed. But, when it comes to being treated as equals in the Christian community? Not so much. I also think it's worth noting here that it was the Catholic church who was first to rush to our defense in the state of California. Why? Because Catholics have many more centuries thean Latter-Day Saints under their belts when it comes to having their beliefs distorted and their faith mocked by mainstream Christianity. And while, again, I completely disagree with their reasons AND their coalition, I do thank the California Catholic community for having our backs-and I'm not at all surprised they were the first to rush to our defense. I know many amazing people of that religious persuasion and learned a great respect for that religion while serving a mission for my church in Italy. Which is probably not what my church intended when they sent me to Italy as a missionary, but again, I am just one big walking contradiction.

There are many other contradictions I could write about at length, but I'll spare you (for this entry anyway) the details and summarize them like this:

• I'm pro-choice, but I could never have an abortion (granted as a 36 year-old who is married with health insurance and high school and college behind me-it's an easy call for me to make)
• I don't support organized prayer in school, but I hold an organized prayer with my children every morning before we leave the driveway
• I oppose the death penalty, but I believe in the Book of Mormon which endorses it
• I abstain from drugs and alcohol as per my religious beliefs, but I love being with my very Irish family and laugh at their liquored-up antics.
• In fact, I love my fairly pagan family and friends and all of their so-called imperfections. I love being with them and I know (in ways that I will never know from acquaintances at church) that they love me unconditionally as well.

OK, there was no real contradiction in that last one and I'm running out of steam, so it's time to end this. And what better way to end it than with The West Wing quote that inspired it in the first place:

Josh Lyman: In the mean time, remember pluralism. You want to get these people? I mean, you really want to reach in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. Makes them absolutely crazy.

-taken from "Isaac and Ishmael," their Season 3 premiere filmed in just two weeks as a response to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It was good advice in 2001 and I pray it continues to be so in 2009.

Again, How Do I Follow Up on Yesterday...

I think, in this case, with a little more explanation. I wasn't kidding when I expressed my love for the people I go to church with every Sunday. Finding out that the move to our current house was going to require a 20 minute drive each way was tough, finding happiness in that branch was not. As I fell asleep last night, I pictured the faces of many of the people whose daughters were in my Primary or YW classes, those who teach my children now, and those who welcomed us when we moved in three years ago. I am not at all sorry for my associations with them, and I am proud to call that branch my church home-especially when my current calling finds me gone visiting other wards and branches on many Sundays. My complaint yesterday wasn't with the members of my branch, nor do I have a problem with their political views no matter how different they may be from mine. My only problem was how freely they were shared at the pulpit during Sacrament Meeting and from the podium during Relief Society, as if they were actual church teachings rather than merely opinions which is, of course, all that they are. Just as I'm sure they meant no offense to me with their words, I meant no ill-will towards any of them with my vent yesterday. I just think there needs to be a little more respect shown for opposing viewpoints.

In my full-on rant mode of yesterday, I probably forgot to mention that, for the last ten minutes of that last meeting, we were joined by our new branch president which put a halt to a lot of the bashing AND that a very fair-minded (and wonderful and lovely) sister sitting behind me reminded everyone that, like it or not, Sen. Obama was their new president and that they should support him. I know she did not vote for him, I knew that when she opened her mouth; but she was the voice of reason at a time when I could not have said something civil to save my life had I dared unclench my jaw. I thanked her afterwards and I am hopeful that things will go better at our next meeting. (Stake Conference is next week, which gives us all that much more time to calm down.) Of course, had I realized that the Primary Program was happening for the Norman wards and not my branch, I would have followed my original inclination to skip that first church Sunday post-election and been much better off for having done so. Next time I will look at the calendar more closely before I leave the house. :>) Because while I was very hurt by a lot of what was said yesterday, I'm not really sure why I was at all surprised by it.

Finally, I want to thank all of you for your awesome comments yesterday. I never felt more alone in my opinions than I did at church yesterday morning, and by bedtime I've rarely felt so encouraged and supported. I know almost all of you who left comments yesterday personally, and you come from all backgrounds-religious and otherwise-and yet we all found common ground in my Comment section. I pray that continues for me, for all of you, and for us as a nation. Watching the positive tone of the meeting today between Pres. Bush and Pres.-elect Obama inspires me to believe that there are no differences we can't overcome when we approach each other with respect, caring, and desires for a common goal. Let us all try harder to do so during the transitions that are to come!

(And I promise to get back to my mundane mommy-blogger droning tomorrow...Thanks for bearing with me these last couple of days.)

To My Sisters in Zion

First, I love you all. I love you all so much that in church I keep my mouth shut about politics. Not because I fear having an opposing opinion and not because I think my views are wrong. I keep my mouth shut because I love you all and respect your right to have a different opinion. Last summer, I was invited to give a talk in Sacrament meeting about free agency and the United States government. A left-leaning, registered Independent like me could have had a LOT of fun with that. Instead, I spoke about the Pilgrims, the founding fathers, and how their actions prepared our nation for The Restoration. I didn't do this because I was worried about what you all would think or because I feared disciplinary action on behalf of my local church leaders. I did it because I knew it was a subject on which we, as members of the church, were all of one mind and one heart. I kept my own opinions out of that talk because, even though they applied to the topic at hand, my remarks would have detracted from the sense of unity that I thought was the whole point of meeting together each Sunday. In other words, I chose my words out of love and respect and common ground just like they taught me to do in Methodist and Baptist Sunday School classes as a small child and again as a young adult in the MTC.

Even on my own personal blog, Facebook page, and Twitter account; I've been careful with my words. Again, not to win friends or approval, but because the older I get, the greater my capacity for love and patience and tolerance becomes. A lot of people whose hearts and testmonies that I love and treasure have become readers, friends, and followers of these mediums and while they are my personal platforms in a sense, they are also my means of communication with people I don't get to talk with as often as I would like to in person, and I take that seriously before I hit the 'post' or 'publish' buttons. I have allowed for some of my personal opinions to enter in expressed in a manner that is both appropriate and kind and, for the most part, have been met with similar respectful responses even when I know my thoughts and opinions were different from those who replied to me. Many of these responses have come from LDS women throughout the United States. They gave me a false sense of security. A belief that I could be somewhat different politically and still belong in Zion. I was proven wrong about that today, and I am hurt.

What you women may or may not realize is, as an adult convert, all of you have been teaching me the gospel since the days I prepared to enter the waters of baptism. I have no mother, no sister, no aunt, and no grandmother to point me in the right direction when it comes to learning how to walk in the light and now to teach my children to do likewise. I have only those of you with whom I associate at church. (If you find that to be too much responsiblity, I'm sorry. Being the only sane person in my extended family is my cross to bear whether I like it or not as well. It's your role, deal with it and I'll try to remember you all are human too.) You have taught me not only within the walls of the church, but also when we go out together to have fun, when we chat in the nursing mother's room or at playdates at the Mall or the park (on the rare occasion my children and I are included in such things) what I learn about how to be a Latter-Day Saint woman, I learn from all of you whether you like it or not. When I learn good things, it inspires me to be a better woman, a better wife, and a better mother. When I learn bad things...I question whether all the sacrifices I made when I got baptized some 16 years ago were worth it. And today...today was bad.

My sisters, not all of us believe Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. I certainly don't see him as the messiah that some do, and the anguish I went through in the last several months while trying to decide which good man I wanted to see in the White House in 2009 was one of the most difficult dilemmas I have ever faced as an adult. As good members of the church, many of you have never faced some of the ugliness that I have and I wish that were true for all of you rather than just the "many." My trials don't make me "better" than any of you, but they do give me a different perspective. As a young girl who fell victim to date rape, I took no comfort in Sarah Palin's wish to "counsel with rape victims" and encourage them not to terminate any pregnancies resulting from such an ordeal. I was fortunate enough in my experience (inasmuch as anyone can call what I went through "fortunate") not to have to make that decision. And while I do know that there are many brave women who do just that, And while I do like to think that I would have been one of them; I do not think that decision should have been made by anyone but me and me alone and I doubt a lovely chat with Gov. Palin would have done me one damn bit of good then or now. And so, those comments coupled with John McCain's finger quotes about the "health of the mother" were what finally gave me some resolution about how I would cast my ballot. Let me reiterate here that I love babies, I have many precious family members who came into our family through adoption including my own mother, and that I can think of almost no reason why I would ever have an abortion; but as a date rape victim and a domestic violence survivor-I have had quite enough of other people deciding what happens to my body at its most personal and vulnerable levels and that I will always vote against those candidates who I perceive as a threat to women's reproductive rights. And I know that because most of you grew up with the gospel, kept yourself out of dangerous situations, and saved yourself for your temple marriage; you have no way of relating to me at all on this issue. And all I can say to that is that I wish I was one of you.

But, if one thing has been made clear to me in the last 16 years, it is that while we may believe in the same gospel; I will never be one of you. And I got that message again loud and clear today. I came to church, as I always do, to partake of the Sacrament, renew my baptismal covenenants, and be uplifted. Instead I was subjected to phrases like "be prepared, the end is coming." "A government that can give you everything you need can also take away everything you own," and my own personal favorite "sleeper cell terrorist." And only the last one was a personal remark that could be excused as just someone blowing off steam out of frustration, the other two came from the visiting speakers and were actually spoken from the pulpit this morning. Along with many other "don't be afraid" messages. Well sisters, until this morning I wasn't afraid. But now, I am. If I have to be straight-ticket voting Republican who has no love, patience, tolerance, or understanding for anyone who thinks differently, sees things differently, or does things differently before I can enjoy a Sacrament meeting or a Relief Society lesson again; then I can promise you that that will never happen. As we often say, sometimes the only thing people learn about our church is what they see from watching us. And right now, we aren't teaching very good lessons. I'm coming back next Sunday because I still have a testimony of those basic things the missionaries taught my family in 1985, and again to me in 1992. I have the love and respect of many Young Women throughout the stake as a result of my calling, and no desire to hurt or confuse them by going inactive. But I'm not sure how many more Sundays like this I will be strong enough to endure. The election is over and some of us are actually happy about its outcome. So, let's leave our politics at the door and get back to the business of uplifiting and edifying each other. I've still got a lot to learn from all of you, and enough love left in my heart to move past this. I've worked hard throughout this election not to step on your toes, will you please stop stomping on mine?

Sincerely,
Sister G

P.S. At least there was no gloating over Prop 8. Thank you very much for that. (Or does that start next week?)

Some Final Thoughts...

About 10 years ago, I reached a point in my life where I felt that I had to decide then and there whether or not I was going to spend the rest of my life espousing church doctrine and encouraging personal change and  improvement to all the people that I loved in my life or to spend my life just loving those people for who they were, just as they were and not to hold back that love if what they did or felt or believed was different from me. That rather than to preach religion to anyone, I would let that unconditional love that I shared with others ultimately be the religion that I taught them. Obviously, I chose the latter and I've never regretted it even though it isn't nearly as easy as I just made it sound. I am not perfect, and I'm sure I haven't been at my most loving each and every day since then, but I've done my best to stick with it. Because I feel that way, a lot of things about me have changed in the last decade-and most particularly when it comes time to cast a ballot.

I do not think Barack Obama is our new savior and I know a lot of the promises he made can't possibly come to fruition in the way he very idealistically hopes that they will. I also think that John McCain would have made a wonderful president and wish he could have, for at least four years; held that well-deserved title of "Commander in Chief" that his time in the Hanoi Hilton surely earned him. However, I am relieved that a man who would use air quotes so casually with the words 'health of the mother' and who would choose someone as politically young and unproven as Governor Palin as his second-in-command will not be taking the oath of office in January. (And when I cast my vote, it really did come down to those two issues.) Overall, I am pleased with the outcome of yesterday's national election.

As far as the states go, I am saddened by the passing of Prop 8 in California and similar measures in Arizona and Florida. But I am also sickened by the anti-Mormon ads that were aired in California over the past couple of days which targeted an entire church even though campaigning for Prop 8 was the personal choice of individual members (and not a choice that I EVER would have made). Two wrongs don't make a right people. And speaking of wrongs, you might live in Oklahoma IF...a proven competent and classy man like Jim Roth can lose an election to a relative unknown (Dana Murphy) whose platform might as well have been "Hey! At least I'm straight," while a nut job like Sally Kern can get re-elected handily.

I do not wish to beat the issues of abortion or homosexuality into the ground. There are very compelling arguments to be made on all sides of either issue. They can also be debated to death without any civil resolution which is why I usually eschew mentioning either one on a daily basis here. I have a lot of love and respect for people of a variety of opinions on both subjects. As a result, my vote tends to go towards those officials and towards those laws who leave it to individuals to work such personal matters out for themselves based on the dictates of their own consciences rather than out of fear of social stigma or legal repercussions. My philosophy on both is simple, if I want my rights to live as a white, straight, Latter-Day Saint woman protected by my government; then I must respect the rights of other people of all races, genders, sexual orientation, and religions as well. As I said in the beginning, my job is to love people as they are for who they are or, as Jesus said, 'to love my neighbor as myself.' I am quite happy to leave my Heavenly Father in charge of sorting out the rights and wrongs of such things when we get to the other side. My love for people of all beliefs, lifestyles, and opinions is what guided my vote yesterday, and I hope that someday, loving our neighbors as ourselves will ultimately become what guides us all regardless of what we believe or how we vote. That is all. Thanks for reading.

It Seemed Like a Good Idea This Morning

Of course, I had to go to two different places to accomplish this since I do my job two counties away from where I live. By the end of work this afternoon, I was starting to feel it (the flu shot, not the vote). I think I will be watching the returns on the couch under my favorite blanket while consuming Ibuprofen tonight.  For my trouble I certainly hope they got the right flu strain this year. Among the many other things I am hoping for tonight...

Election Day 2008

According to The Lost Ogle:

"I think if you have a blog, newspaper or even own a large chain coffee or donut shop, you’re supposed to try and encourage people to vote today."

But I don't think I can say it better than these kids!

Just Making Lists Today

So, I was finishing up the one blog post I've finally had the time to write in the last 48 hours only to have Blogger eat it just before I hit "post." And now it's almost bedtime and I don't have time to write another one. I'll try the Reader's Digest version:

Things Making Me Grumpy This Week:

• Mixing church and politics, especially when the church leaders issue a letter proclaiming that a big "no-no"
• Proposition 8 and all the individual church members in California lobbying for a "yes" vote. (Legislation like this is, in my lonely opinion, just 2 steps removed from the Missouri "extermination orders" of the late 1800's. Just people passing laws against a community whose lifestyle is different from the mainstream. Yes, my husband disagrees with me too and I guarantee that you can't present me with an argument that I haven't already heard from him. And I'm not saying that I'm absolutely right here, that's just how I feel about these kinds of laws.)
• My husband borrowing my car all day yesterday and leaving me with 1/8th of a tank of gas this morning for my commutes from my house to East Norman and then to North OKC.
• Accidentally leaving my purse at home when there's only 1/8th of a tank of gas in my car and not realizing it until I parked at work and the empty light came on.
• Feeling like I can't blog freely about my life now that half my acquaintances from church have friended me on Facebook and many of them only know me as the 1st Counselor in the Stake Young Women presidency. (Something that is no doubt a sign of the Last Days, for sure.)

Things Making Me Happy This Week:

• Serving as 1st Counselor in the Stake YW Presidency
• A Dad who works 2 blocks away from where I work and who brought me gas money on his lunch hour
• Losing a pound last week and getting lots of exercise this week.
• Saturday nights with old friends having the same kind of silly fun that we did as teens with just a bit more money to spend than we had back then. (We saw the stage version of the Rocky Horror picture show, dressed up as Transylvanians. We danced to the Time Warp. 'Nuff said.)
• Having songs from that fun night stuck in my head every day since then.
• Fixing three good dinners so far this week. (By good, I mean from a healthy, whole food point-of-view. Not that my kids have been thrilled with all the selections.)
• Getting all notes and homework turned in on time so far this week, AND getting to and leaving lessons and other after-school activities on time as well.
• Making a To-Do list on Sunday that I've been able to stick to since then.
• Having a clean Master Bed/Bath even if the kids are destroying the rest of the house as fast as I can clean it.

You Wanted Excitement...

After an enjoyable, albeit very routine road trip, we didn't do much around the house except for unload the car, unpack all my precious Trader Joe perishables, and get caught up on vacation laundry. It was some time late last night before I decided to put away all the T.J. dry goods too...and that's when I discovered it. A brand-new bottle of children's vitamins with an opened childproof lid and only 74 out of 100 vitamins left. Apparently, Caroline thought they were candy and ate them hand over fist for most of the drive home. I have already called poison control three times in my mothering career, so I made Dave do the honors this time. (No, it wasn't my favorite guy "Windy" who answered the phone this time. But I did talk to him for two of my three previous calls. You just don't forget it when you are freaking out and a man says "This is Windy, what I can help you with tonight, Ma'am.") Thank God for the fact that Trader Joe's doesn't put iron in their children's chewables. Thank God! Thank God! Thank God! She didn't have as much as an upset stomach last night. I wish I could say the same. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much last night. Interestingly enough, Caroline was the reason for our last poison control call as well. Only that time she had found my Chromium Picolinate tablets. What is it with her and vitamins?! So far, we've had to call at least once with each kid except for Elisa. Part of me wants to say "And maybe it won't happen!" But it's me-OF COURSE it will...

That was last night's adventure, today's was almost as much fun. My gas light went off as I pulled into the office parking lot. At lunch time, I realized that my purse was still sitting on the dining room table at home instead of in my back pack where I thought it was. I forgot I was low on gas until the light went off again in Moore (about 10 miles from where I needed to be). I shut off the a/c because I still had 6 kids to pick up at school (3 of mine, 3 from the car pool) and I not only had to make it there, but also to the house where 3 of them needed to be dropped off. I begged the car not to die on my for the next 20 minutes and only dared breathe again when I coasted into the Wal-Mart parking lot with three of my four kids (I left the little one at pre-school, why should she sit in a hot car with the rest of us?) and waited 45 minutes for Dave to show up with his Debit card. I felt like an idiot. My Dad seems to think of running out of gas as some kind of Olympic competition with points awarded for where and how you do it. (My favorite was a Kentucky highway on the way to Mammoth Caves one year-it was about 3 a.m., we were in the middle of NOWHERE, and he had to use a Coke cup because he never travels with a gas can. On our family vacation, it was never a question of IF we would run out, just when it would happen.) On the other hand, I hope it never happens to me for real. Those were the longest 25 minutes of my life, and I paid for my error in judgement by having to spend 45 minutes in Wal-Mart with my children. And THAT was punishment enough.

And on a completely unrelated note, saying things like "my kids will never..." is just asking for trouble. I may not agree with her politically, but I would warn those pointing fingers at Governor Palin and her parenting skills might want to take a closer look in their own backyards. It's been my experience that the quickest way to guarantee yourself some troubles on the parenting front is to question the abilities of another parent. And that's all I've got to say about that. (For now...)

Political Post-O-Matic Today

Every once in awhile, I get press releases emailed to me that some PR company thinks might be of interest to my readers. I rarely re-post them. But I liked this one:

In a recent poll conducted by Match.com and Happen Magazine, Americans responded overwhelmingly that when it comes to kissing, Obama is the right man for the job. The poll, which focused on political lip service of a more intimate kind, resulted in 77 percent of Americans responding that they believe Barack Obama would be a better kisser than John McCain*. “While the majority of our member base considers themselves ‘middle of the road,’ it appears that America is leaning to the left with their lips,” said Darcy Cameron, senior director of marketing and advertising for Match.com. This Match.com poll was conducted online and fielded 1,433 total responses.

*Neither Michelle Obama, Cindy McCain nor any babies were polled as part of this survey.

I'm not sure how important Obama's victory here will be to his overall campaign. And I certainly don't think I will any better informed on these two candidates on Election Day than I am now. And that's just fine with me. (And press releases found in my Inbox sure do beat having to come up with something myself tonight!)

Yet Another Minefield

Since I've already stepped on toes by mentioning the Land Run, I thought I might as well go ahead and share my thoughts on the whole polygamy drama in Texas. I mean, at this point, why not?

I will admit that I'm a little irritated at all the "As a MORMON, what do you think?" questions. As the media has been kind enough to clarify, we Mormons have very little to do with the FLDS church. This is not surprising as we parted company with them when the church abolished polygamy in 1890. In fact, the one tenant of the original church that they embrace most fervently is the one that would have been a deal-breaker for me had I been approached by the missionaries in the 1880's. I would even go so far as to say that the principal of polygamy is the only thing Joseph Smith ever did that I have had to seriously question and to reconcile myself to in the 15 years that I've been a member of the church. (And I remain a member, in short, because I've yet to receive a negative response to my prayers when it comes to the promise found in Moroni 10:3-5.) And so, I don't feel that I have much in common with those who have disavowed the church that I belong to in order to engage in such a practice, and if you ask them they will say that they feel disconnected from us in a similar fashion. Watching this media coverage has been akin to how Jimmy Carter must have felt when the spotlight shone on his brother Billy or how Bill Clinton felt when everyone was watching Roger. It's basically having to deal with the whole world watching the antics of your most backwoodsy 2nd cousins...and yet, as the coverage rolls on, I can't help but feel that kinship with them.

I'm not sure if the common denominator is the shared origin of our very different faiths, or if it's as a wife and mother, or even just as a fellow human being. But I have to admit that knowing that government agents acting on a tip of very dubious nature have been allowed and encouraged to storm into homes and split up families by force and to have their actions sanctioned by the court system is a little disturbing to me. This is not because I support or even condone the practice of polygamy, nor am I ever in support of underage marriages be it to younger OR older men; it's just that I feel this sets a dangerous precedent. Let's face it, the raid wasn't really over the phone call-that was just the pre-text. This compound has been an irritant to the citizens of El Dorado for quite some time. They were just waiting for an excuse to pounce. And isn't declaring superiority in the face of a lifestyle and culture that we don't understand and doing our best to show it who's boss is a time-honored American tradition? (If I learned anything from yesterday's discourses, it was that.) If I truly believed the raids had been done for any other reason than that kind of bullying, I might feel more positively about them. If I really thought they would make a difference in the grand scheme of things, I might be able to stomach what I've seen on the news. But if my church hasn't been able to convince them to abandon polygamy in the last 100-plus years, why do government officials think that they will fare any better? Instead, I think they *may* have changed the futures of a possible handful of young girls and caused unmeasurable damage to quite a few more young children and their mothers. Not to mention setting a very dangerous precedent in the United States for what it is and isn't OK to do to American citizens.

Memorable Quotes o' the Week

Me (on parenting): "I'm doing my best to teach my kids tolerance. I couldn't bear for them to judge someone based on their race, religion, or sexual orientation. But if they figure out someone is stupid, I'm all about letting them point that out."

For example, we went to the zoo on Thursday. I hate to visit the zoo during spring break because it is packed. But, we have a family pass, so I figured if we were hating it; we could leave after an hour or so. (We lasted 2, and then Dave had an errand to run.) Anyway, anyplace packed with people always ups the potential for stupidity among the masses and that day was no different. There was one woman in particular who kept shoving her "preshus" grandchildren in front of mine at every crowded exhibit there was (or most of them). Which explains my pride at this exchange (some names have been changed):

Scary Grandma in front of the Ape Escape exhibit: (where she had just, no doubt, shoved Tristan out of the way) Hey little Bubba Jr.! Com'ere and lookit the monkeys!
Tristan: I'm sorry Ma'am, but they're gorillas.
Scary Grandma: (blank stare)
Tristan: You know, go-ril-las.
Scary Grandma: (looks at me to 'discipline' my son for his cheek)
Me: That's my smart boy, Tristan!

I am so going to get beat up someday...

Super Tuesday

As an Independent, I won't be voting today-but I hope every registered Republican and Democrat does...If you are still undecided-try this! (Just don't take it too seriously. I'm still for Obama!)

Who You Should Vote For

Hillary Clinton: 67%Barack Obama: 60%Ron Paul: 47%John McCain: 40%Mike Huckabee: 40%Mitt Romney: 27% Who you agree with on the war in Iraq: Ron Paul Who you agree with on the economy: Mike Huckabee, John McCain and Ron Paul Who you agree with on health care: Mike Huckabee, John McCain, Ron Paul and Mitt Romney Who you agree with on taxes: Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton Who you agree with on abortion: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama Who you agree with on gay rights: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama

Who Should You Vote For?

B-I-N-G-O

I snatched this shamelessly from fellow Okie blogger and seeming political misfit Kellyology. It has been brought to my attention that I'm not as politically informed as I could be. (I know, I know, but all teasing and sarcasm aside; it's still true.) The Republican debate is tonight and the Democrats will spar tomorrow. I read an email this morning from a good friend who described my frustration with closely analyzing the political process perfectly by saying this: "...none of them say a dang thing and they go in circles so much I get confused." To which I say "Here! Here!" Fortunately, the women of MomsRising.org have found a clever way to help us keep track! Go here and download your BINGO cards! You can keep a record of not only what the candidates say, but also where they stand (and where they keep silent) on the issues most important to us as moms. While I planned on half-heartedly watching the debates, now I'm really looking forward to them. Thanks Kelly (and the rest of you)!

OK, Let's Talk Politics

I try to steer clear of this topic as often as possible. Not because I don't have opinions and not because I don't enjoy discussing them. It's mostly because I don't have the time I once did to really research the issues and candidates and the last thing you want is to feel ignorant on your own blog when someone else who knows more becomes a regular in the comment section. And yet, I really do have some things to say on the subject, so here are my rather simple thoughts:

First of all, I am pretty much the definition of Libertarian. My personal choices are rather conservative. They work for me and I'm grateful to live in a country that protects my right to live and believe as I choose. Therefore, I am vehemently protective of everyone else's right to believe, or not believe, according to their own conscience too. I would never have an abortion, but I feel they should be safe and legal for any woman who chooses one. I missed blogging for choice on Monday, so I'm going to digress a bit on this topic. I named my blog what I did for a good reason. DIGRESSION BEGINS: Find me one person who has EVER made the choice to terminate a pregnancy without a lot of serious thought and contemplation. It's hard to do. I know there are a very small number of women who do have them habitually as a form of birth control, but think about the kind of people those women are. Imagine them as mothers. Now try and imagine them being unselfish enough to give up their babies for adoption. It's also hard to do. END DIGRESSION. In addition, I also support alternative lifestyles and certainly think all kinds of families deserve equal protection under the law. And since I'm already losing all my precious Christian readers (another reason I try to avoid political commentary as much as possible) I will also come out in favor of stem cell research and against the death penalty. If your beliefs involve harming other people, children, or animals; than you're on your own. (And you should likely be in prison.) Otherwise, I support you no matter how different you and your life are from me and mine.

Needless to say, voting for someone like Mike Huckabee or even Mitt Romney goes against my guiding principle of live and let live. I do still respect Romney as a person and I could once say that for Mike Huckabee. Then, he started attacking my faith and John McCain's age. Not cool. Putting it briefly, I'm not a fan. I do like John McCain, though we disagree on a few key issues. But I'm not sure he can be elected. As someone who voted her Ross Perot in her first election, I'd like to back the winning team for a change.

On the other side, we have Clinton and Obama (my political beliefs are the closest to Dennis Kucinich's, but even before he dropped out-I knew better than to place all my faith in someone who I recognized best for being Dave Letterman's favorite whipping boy). In all honesty, I don't have a problem with Hillary Clinton. But I do feel that too many other people do, and after eight divisive years in the White House almost behind us, I want to avoid four more if at all possible. I don't think people can unite behind her even though I desperately want to see a woman in the Oval Office in my lifetime. But as much as I want to promote my own feminist leanings, I think our collective interests as a nation should be satisfied first. As a country, we are screaming for something to reconnect us. And that, for me, leaves only Barack Obama.

I am the first to admit that he and I also differ on a few key issues. In all honesty, it's only during the recent primaries that I have really familiarized myself with him as a presidential candidate. But so far, I like what I see. My sister once said to me that one of the reasons my husband (and many other husbands) will never fully understand what women go through is because he has spent his whole life as a middle class white male. As a minority, Mr. Obama will likely be a bit more sensitive. And while I do not pretend I know what it's like to be a young, African-American male struggling to make a living in the inner-city, can you imagine the boost he would get from seeing an African-American elected President of the United States. Since the days of the abolitionists, since the days of the Civil Rights movement, for my entire life we have struggled as a nation to equalize things among all races. Frankly, I don't think we've made much progress. I can't help but think that an African American president would provide that huge push that we need to get us back on the path we seem to have lost in the days since Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King. As teenagers of the 60's, my parents took care to make sure that their children were as color-blind as possible. I didn't hear my first racial slur until I started public school. When I asked my Dad what it meant, he told me it was a word that only stupid people used and that by the time I was an adult; no one would hear it anymore. Sadly, my Dad was wrong about that, but I can't help but think that with the election of Barack Obama that it might actually be true for my children.

Finally, in the most backwards recommendation ever, my 98 year-old great aunt who is very racist and very Republican had this to say:

"If there has to be a Democrat in the White House, I hope it's that young, handsome black man. I'm not going to vote for him, of course, but people get excited about him the way they once did about Kennedy and I like that."

For this starry-eyed idealist who wants a more unified nation in the next four years, that is endorsement enough.

Music Monday-Christmas Edition

I was going to post my iTunes "Holiday" playlist, but I've got over 41 songs on it and thought I would spare your scroll buttons. Instead, I'll just post the song that has touched me the most this Christmas season. If I could sum up my political views in ONE Christmas song, it would definitely be this one. (My playlist has the Stevie Wonder version, but that one can't be embedded. Besides, now you get a double dose of Disney from me!)

What's your favorite Christmas song this year? Leave me a comment and let me know.