My Most Recent Epiphany

I write (or is that whine?) a lot about never feeling like I fit in anywhere. It's been a major theme of this blog for far too long. I've thought about this a lot recently, and I've finally decided that feeling that way may just be inherent in my personality and one of those crosses I have to bear in this life. I've also realized that while I may not always be at ease at huge family gatherings (mine or the in-laws) or in my many social circles; I already have the respect and friendship of anyone in my life whose opinion actually matters to me. And while I think it's human nature to want to be loved and accepted by everyone (and even more so for "pleasers" like me), I am going to spend a lot less time worrying about it. There are a lot of really wonderful people in my life who know me and love me for the very human and very flawed person I am and always will be. Why would I seek the esteem of people who make me jump through hoops to get it? I don't know either-and from now on I'm going to worry a lot less about it. I know it sounds like a very simple conclusion to draw, but for someone who has always been described as"gifted" academically; I've always been a little bit slow in other areas. Anyway, coming to that conclusion made a very busy and very socially-oriented weekend a lot more fun for me. In other words: "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not."*


*A very apt quote for today's post that one of my favorite bloggers, Alison Wonderland, posted on Facebook today.