I started to write a Facebook update a few minutes ago. It was really a futile attempt because it was directed at someone who 'unfriended' me and will never see it anyway. Usually, these little rejections make me want to curl up in a ball and sob over how unlikeable I am. But today, I didn't feel that way. Instead, this is how I reacted and this what I wrote (and would have posted if I hadn't gone so far over the character limit):
I have decided that I am done over-thinking why people do or don't approve of me. They either like me or they don't and it's their problem not mine. I am raising 5 beautiful, brilliant children. I volunteer my time and money for as many worthy causes as I can support. I try not to swear in traffic, I try to hold doors and elevators for people, and I always let someone with fewer items than me go first in the check-out line. I'm not perfect, but I get up and try to be my best all day long. I can't think of anything I've done to hurt anyone deliberately and I'm done losing sleep over why so and so doesn't want to talk to me/remain my friend on Facebook/etc...I work too hard and give too much of myself in every aspect of my life to let their actions or their blatant disapproval hurt me anymore.
And you know what? I meant every word of that.
7 comments:
wonderful.
Good for you!
Funny, I was just having a conversation (on facebook!) about being unfriended ON FACEBOOK. It bugs the crap out of me, especially when I can't figure out WHO dumped me. I literally obsess about it until I figure out who it was and then I think: Oh my god, who cares? I haven't even seen or talked with that person since HIGH SCHOOL and even THEN I really didn't like him!" It's so silly, really.
Amen.
I was unfriended by someone and I sent them a message asking if it was a mistake but they never replied so I just shrugged. She wasn't my closest friend or anything, and while I'm curious why she decided she had to unfriend me, I figured it was no great loss.
Some people are just too easily offended and let anything bug them. I'm glad you came to the conclusion you did. Thanks for being MY friend.
Thanks Ladies! Sadly, this was not a random act of unfriending, this was my sister-in-law and it was done deliberately to push my buttons. It did for about 10 minutes, and then I came to the conclusion I wrote about in this post. My in-laws have run hot and cold with me since my sweet MIL passed over 11 years ago, I used to wear myself out in desperation of their approval; but now I just feel done with that. And frankly, it's starting to be a bit of a deal-breaker in my marriage too-because if he can't stand up in defense of the mother of his children...well, I'm not quite ready to go to that extreme yet. But part of my thinks it would be a huge relief if I was.
But regardless of what that end result is (and there are other factors influencing that decision besides the fact that he lets his family treat me like dirt), I'm done doing backflips to gain the approval of any of them.
I have been lucky for part of my in-laws love me and the other part seem to be cold/hot and my family isn't around. I know that whatever happens, you will do what is best for all of you...
*LIKE*
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