Random Thoughts at the End of the Week

This week brought a national level museum conference to Oklahoma City. I was only able to attend officially on Thursday, but just about every day this week involved some kind of extra work related to the conference happening. There was an after-hours tour on Wednesday, an early morning Museum Educator's breakfast on Thursday, working by myself on Friday so my co-workers could attend/present at the conference; and a wrap-up picnic on Saturday. In the background, my kids still had all their usual after-school classes and activities and one of them caught some kind of stomach virus. Oh, and the DeMolay State Officers reception was Saturday night. The good news, I was only half an hour away. The bad news, it was close because I had been at work. Outside. Setting up and tearing down before and after the wrap-up picnic not to mention giving tours to several intimidating museum professionals. Of course, it is worth mentioning that the sponsors and organizers of the conference who intimidated me the most were by far the nicest people there. Actually, EVERYONE was nice. Except for one person, but they were bitingly and hilariously sarcastic which I also enjoy. So I guess I liked everyone.

I did NOT like driving straight from the picnic at work where I was hot, sweaty, and sticky from being outside to the Guthrie Scottish Rite Temple where I was hot, sweaty, and sticky from being inside since the a/c didn't work. I also didn't love a certain 15-16 year-old boy telling me what was right and wrong with my Rainbow assembly, but the good news about that is that he isn't in charge. I am. Mostly he is mourning the lack of 15-16 year-old girls for him to flirt with, since it's mostly made up of girls my daughter's age. I agree with him, but if having girls that age means I have to endure being told to "shut up" and blatantly disobeyed; I can live without them and stick with the young'uns. At least they still say "please," "thank you," and are ready to go when I say it's time to leave. Even my daughter. And she doesn't even manage most of that at home. ;) With three more initiates lined up for next month and a small fundraiser on the calendar, I am feeling much better about the future of Norman Rainbow than I did at this time last year when I was first approached about taking over as Mother Advisor. Even without a slew of hotties in the assembly. Or should I say especially without that.
Anyway, I can't believe it's been a year. While much of the novelty of "this used to be my playground" has worn off in the light of "what's next?" I have to admit that I still feel like Cinderella going to the ball when I climb the steps of the Guthrie Scottish Rite temple, even when I've come straight there from work and I am wearing my Croc flats in lieu of glass slippers.

I was asked today why I would encourage Natalie to be active in Rainbow rather than support her efforts in Young Women. In case anyone else is wondering, I thought I would give a better answer than I did this morning at church (I've had my Sunday nap since then). First of all, I think she can do both. Second, Young Women doesn't have a membership problem. You either have girls that age or you don't and you aren't penalized or threatened by SLC for low numbers. That isn't true for Oklahoma Rainbow, they have to have numbers to stay open. They have to have money to run their assemblies. And someone has to take responsibility to ensure that girls are joining and that money is being raised. After everything Norman Rainbow did for me, I am happy to be that person for them. And, speaking frankly, although I knew several girls in the YW organization growing up; neither they nor their leaders did ANYTHING to help me out during those teenage years. In fact many of them were rather judgmental of my choices and only one or two of them allowed for the possibility that perhaps no one had taught me any different. It was my local Rainbow/DeMolay leaders who got me through the worst of things and I will never forget that.

I believe in the programs of the church from a religious standpoint, but in practical application I know from experience both as a girl AND as a leader that as soon as a girl starts to make bad choices, she also begins to drift from the church either out of fear of being judged or because someone is actively judging her. And unfortunately, WHEN A GIRL BEGINS TO DRIFT IS ALSO WHEN SHE NEEDS SUPPORT AND HELP THE MOST. One of my good friends works with the youth at her large, mainstream Christian church. She asked me how I coped and counseled when my girls fell prey to sex, drugs, or alcohol. And I had to tell her honestly that I had never had to deal with it because that's usually when girls in our church go inactive and quit attending. She described some of her scenarios and while they sounded difficult and sad, at least these girls still felt comfortable enough at church to keep coming. Just as I still felt like I could keep coming to Rainbow activities even when I fell short of what I knew their expectations were. Because, along with all of their counsel and admonishment when it came to morality; there was also unconditional love there and I felt that too. I have no indication that my daughter would ever deviate from the path we set before her when she was born, but I want her to have resources if she does because I shudder to think where I would be if I hadn't. I wish I could trust the church programs to be that resource 100%, but I can't. I'm glad she has both as her safety net. *Just in case.*

Also, it turns out that I trust the YW program a lot more when I have some kind of control over it. I thought it would be wonderful for Natalie when I was 1st Counselor at my branch and 1st Counselor for the Stake. Now that I am not involved at all and, though they seem nice, I really don't know our branch YW leaders; I am a lot more nervous to hand my sweet, impressionable daughter over to them. Especially when Natalie comes home describing activities like "making future husband scrapbook pages." This is an activity that involves cutting out words and pictures from magazines that show or describe the attributes that the girls, both of whom are only 12, hope to find in their future husbands. I don't know about the other 12 year-old, but mine is boy crazy enough without this kind of encouragement. And it undermines everything I am trying to teach her about figuring out what she values in herself BEFORE she even starts to think about what she might want from someone else. Although I will admit that such activities vary from leader to leader. I think Deborah and I would have had them sort library catalog cards by the Dewey Decimal system before engaging in that other endeavor when we were in charge of YW for the branch.

On the other hand, the Rainbow program is all things familiar to me. Letting Natalie participate in Rainbow means that I get to keep some control over what kind of activities she does AND, even better, we can participate in those activities together. And I get to see my old friends all the time instead of just at reunions which makes my arrangement, in MY opinion, the best of all worlds.


And that's what I've been up to and thinking about this week. Thanks for reading.