This morning, my son was restless at church. He began chanting "I'm bo-red" before we even finished the opening hymn. Not a good sign of things to come. His dad handed him a piece of scratch paper. He had written "Why Should I Be Good in Church?" across the top and indicated Tristan should write his answers below. Within ten minutes, he had covered the entire paper with question marks and handed it back to us. (As always, part of me was angry at his attitude, part of me was impressed at his cleverness. He reminds me of the boys in my elementary and middle school GT program, but that's not necessarily a good thing given how some of them turned out.)
Meanwhile, my ten year-old and six year-old were fighting over the coloring books and crayons intended to keep them quiet. Since that wasn't working, I took them all away and put them up prompting a huge tantrum from the 6 year-old who I then had to remove from the building. (We meet in a portable next to our original church building which we have since outgrown and use now for Primary classes. Very Okie, indeed.) By the time she quit screaming and I re-entered the chapel, Sacrament meeting was over. Then, I wanted to cry. I go because I need that spiritual uplift during the rest of my long week and when I don't get it...well, let's just say I was ready to go home at that point and would have had my friend Deborah not come to Sunday School with me (something her Primary chorister calling doesn't usually permit). Then, the R.S. President exacted a promise from me to say the opening prayer for Relief Society before Sunday School was over-I think they were plotting to keep me there. They probably were. All in all, it was good that I stayed, but days like today sometimes make me wonder why I try at all.
I'll let you know if I ever get a definitive answer to that, but until then, just know that I stayed at church today and that I will stay for most of the other bad Sundays that I'm sure are in my future. For my own good, if not for the good of my children. In the meantime, we are done bringing crayons and coloring books to church. They cause more problems than they solve. I'm not sure what we'll do about Tristan except to keep bringing him every Sunday until neither one of us has any more question marks left. That counts for something, doesn't it?
7 comments:
I'm glad we both had a "time" at church on Sunday.
Too bad you aren't in my ward...we could look at each other with that knowing Mommy look....maybe it would block out the looks I get from the older people in the ward who just can't believe that my 2 year old talked above a whisper!
Melessa, I think you are on to something about no longer bringing "fun stuff" into church. I'm no expert and my kids definitely acted up in church when they were small, but when we started expecting them to read along and discuss the service later, they rose to our expectations, for the most part. Don't take that as holier than thou because I am so NOT (LOL)!...but I'm trying to support that you are going to switch gears. I noticed in Delaware that the "coloring kids" were the ones that acted up the most, though it would seem that it should keep them happy. Instead, it was as if they knew they weren't supposed to be getting anything out of church, so they were annoyed to be there. Anyway, good luck!
Love,
Jen
Leeann-I can't believe older people in Utah would be at all surprised by that behavior. Didn't they grow up LDS too? Oh well, I would love to be in any ward you were in anyway.
Jen-One of the moms I respect at our church the most said that she stopped bringing 'activities' to church several years ago and has no regrets, so I am taking my cues from her. (She has 9 children ages 7-25. Can you imagine?)
Bribery. I am never above bribery when it comes to my children. LOL
Seriously though...I do not allow my children to attend Children's Church because I think kids need to learn how to behave in church. They need to sit there and pay attention. (Now, please know I don't begrudge or belittle anyone if their kids do, this is just my personal decision.)
They didn't even have Children's Church when I was a kid - my sister and I drew and colored, but by golly, we were quiet and still. My kids rarely color, though. However, they eat their weight in Smarties and LifeSavers. :-)
Redneck Diva-Their Dad had some mini-Hershey's, but they only worked a little bit. I'm not a big fan of Children's Church either, two of my four kids have been baptized and in my mind that means it's time to focus on at least some of what's being said at the pulpit. We're definitely on the same page there.
Melessa: I loved the Tristan story. Bob and I laughed long over it. That's not to say we wouldn't have punished our child for doing that, but you have to admit, it was pretty clever.
In the meantime, hang in there. And quit worrying about the dirty looks. I know that's much easier said than done. But my mantra is centered around all the old men who stop me in Wally World to tell me that they remember the days, and that my kids will grow up and turn out just fine, and that they're just being kids, and that anybody who gives me dirty looks has forgotten what it means to be a mother of young children. I love those old men!
Love ya, Tracy
Tracy-Secretly, I am amused too. But seriously, that boy is way too smart for his own good. It makes me nervous...
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